Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #532 Things That Go Break in the Night (for Book of Teas) by Janet S. Tiger July 29, 2015

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                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day #532   by Janet S. Tiger  July 29, 2015
      This is the same character from Days # 15, 41-53, 69, 84, 96, 105, 118, 156, 173, 175-8, 181-5, 269, 331, 361, 452, 506.  Southern accent.
                          Things That Go Break in the Night 
                                      (for Book of Teas - haven't thought of a chapter yet)
                        A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                                                    

            (A Southern woman of a few years enters)
Now that is a universal constant.
Everyone is afraid...afraid of somethin.
Some people are afraid of everythin, which is, in some ways, simpler.
I saw my first horror movie when I was only five.  Frankenstein.   Most mothers did not like their children to see movies like that at a tender age, but fathers were mostly interested in keepin children occupied while they played cards and drank. 

Buddy, one of Daddy's poker friends, got the reels of Frankenstein from some pal he knew in Atlanta. a former bootlegger, I imagine, but one who now owned movie theaters and would 'borrow' the equipment to privately screen items for neighbors.
 And so, at the tender age of not yet six years old, I was introduced to one of the most frightening movies ever made.  I still shudder when I think of the scene where the monster is shocked into existence.  It's alive!  It's alive!  That's all my friends had to say to get me to hide in a closet.  And of course the fact that the little girl in the movie looked like me did not help one iota.
But the most frightening part was when my mother found out I had been exposed to this horror.....she almost murdered my father.  He was slightly drunk already, but the look of fear in his eyes when she was screaming at him - which was a rarity, so very special - that look of fear was actually much like mine.  'How could you let your little girl see somethin like that?'  she shrieked, and he would cower, no explanation possible.
But it was effective on his part - momma didn't ask him to watch us for a long time, not until we were old enough to take care of ourselves.
Fear.   Things that go bump in the night.  These things do not bother me any more.  If Frankenstein himself came into my room I doubt if fear would be the first thought in my head.  No, I do believe I would say to him - Honey, do you mind?  I need to go to the bathroom and I hate peein in these diapers.  Would you help me please? 
And he would help.  I know he would because his face may've been all chewed up, but he is a tall man, and tall men like to help.  I think it's genetic. (Sighs, looks up)   But I would not be afraid.   No, those fears are gone with the wind, replaced by real-world frights - things that break in the night.
Like hips ......when you fall tryin to get to the bathroom.  Now that's a horror story - even if it never happens, it's like the bogeyman, always there in your mind.  The fear allowing you to pee in your pants again, just like I did the first time at Frankenstein.  And I didn't even notice until they had to change the reel and the lights went on - and everyone laughed at me.
Now I pee in my pants with abandon.  I hate it but…. I think it is wonderful. 
As for other things that go break in the night, this would include all appliances - from toasters to cars.  All things that can possibly break, like plumbing - sinks and toilets and showers and hoses.  And let's not forget curtains and light bulbs and all manner of electrical items - and now electronic things like those damn computers.
And I am not even discussin broken things caused by horrible natural events like hurricanes and floods - I am just thinking about the ordinary, everyday garden variety of breaks.
What am afraid of most?  Each break means trouble - change - something needs to be fixed, or now, usually replaced, as most things are designed to fall apart after a certain, usually small, amount of time. 
The most frightenin part is the change.  You call up the store, they don't make the same model anymore.  The repairman that shows up is not old Mr. Timmons, with his hundred year old overalls and the same red bandana in the back pocket, it is someone who is too young to shave properly, if he owned a razor that is.
And this young person who is nice lookin but talks way too fast for me to understand, is tellin me that the washin machine cannot be fixed for less than a year's wages, and even if I did, the parts have to be flown in from the moon, which takes at least two to three weeks, and I would be better off with a new machine, which just happens to be on sale this week, and he will deduct the cost of the house visit from the price....when do I want it delivered?
Is it the same exact model?  I ask.  It's better they assure me, with wide smiles and bright shiny teeth.  But it doesn't matter whether it's better or worse - it's different, it's somethin I have to get used to, something new, something  that's changed.


Scary.  Really scary.
Always scary.
Way more scary than Frankenstein


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8