Sunday, July 5, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #508 Chirp by Janet S. Tiger July 5, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 500!

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            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
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Monologue Mania Day #508 Chirp by Janet S. Tiger  July 5, 2015

         Several teachers have notified me that they are using some of my monologues as teaching tools for history (I have tried to do one monologue for each of the big holidays - Memorial Day, July 4th, Veteran's Day, Cesar Chavez Day, Labor Day, etc - will do a collection soon)  Upcoming is one for Juneteenth - if anyone reading needs a monologue for a specific holiday I haven't covered yet, please let me know and I will try to oblige.
                                                   © all rights reserved  2015                                                                                                                   
            (The person - dressed in night clothes - enters with a can of Raid, they are restless, and more than a little - dare we say it?- crazy eyed.  They shut the door behind them, look around)

It's in this room....I've narrowed it to ....this room.....chirp, chirp, chirp.......
           (Starts searching)
I know you're in here, I can hear you.....hear, here.....that word is disturbing me...just like you, little cricket, are disturbing my sleep.  I need to be up for an early audition, and you are not helping.....You know I don't mind you and your relatives when you are OUTSIDE, so I can shut my windows and not hear you....but this is my home, my castle.....and YOU are the intruder here.......
             (Getting more frantic)
(False)  I won't hurt you....I promise....I just want you leave my house.....go back to nature, where you belong....
          (The searching becomes more noisy and frantic, then a stop, opens the door, pretends to leave)
(Quiet, listening)  I gotcha!
          (Opens a drawer and sprays furiously)


Just a spider!  But I heard you in there!  Are you....a ventriloquist cricket?  Maybe I could get you a job in show business.....come out, we can talk about it.....I know a lot of people could be famous........come on noisy little sucker!

         (Opens drawers, closets, very loud.  Stops, gets phone)

Yes, Mrs. Mulligan......I am still awake, and I am sorry to be so noisy, but there is a cricket that is keeping me awake and I..... shhhh, I think I see it! I think I see its tiny little sneaky antenna.....hiding, but it can't hide from me......

          (Jumps and sprays, victorious)

Yeahhhhhh!  I got you!
         (Leans in to the cricket)
I know I promised you an audition, but guess what...I lied! Welcome to show business! 
         (Does a little dance, hears voice from the phone)
Thank you, Mrs. Mulligan, your call brought me luck!  (Listens)  No....I killed it!

         (Cleans up the mess, listens)

Whaddaya mean, it's not lucky to kill a cricket?

         (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I guess you're right, though, it isn't lucky....FOR THE CRICKET!

        (Exits with a big jump.  The end..... of the hapless cricket)


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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