Monday, June 29, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #501 Better Next Time (for Two Sisters) by Janet S. Tiger June 28, 2015

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                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day #501 Better Next Time (for Two Sisters)  by Janet S. Tiger  June 28, 2015

         This is from the one-act with other parts on Day # 487,  Day # 488, Day # 498, Day # 499 and Day # 500
Although these are with more than one actor, I will separate out the monologues later.  Thanks for your patience!

                                                        Better Next Time
                                                               (for Two Sisters)
                          This is not a monologue! by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved  2015                                                                               

continued from Day 500

       (Pam is seen coming to the front door, and finding it open, she knocks and walks in, with Daddy getting very angry and Lynn trying to pick up the groceries from earlier.)

DADDY -  What is SHE doing here?

PAM -  Lynn told me to come!  And why was the front door open?  Just anyone could have walked in here....

DADDY -  Anyone just did walk in!

PAM -  I thought you said he would be resting!

DADDY -  But you would have preferred if I was in that horrible place...Groaning Grotto!  I told you-
I don't ever want to speak to you again!  I have called your cousin, Harlan, the attorney and I am writing you out of the will!

LYNN - (Trying to maintain some control)  Everyone, please let's just calm down a bit....

DADDY - Calm?  I told you- I don't ever want to speak to her again!  What are you trying to do - kill me, too?

LYNN -  No one is trying to harm you Daddy, we are just trying to find you a place to move....

DADDY - Why not just put me into a garbage bag and set me out in the street on Friday!

PAM -  If you think we're trying to kill you, why are you upset? I thought you WANTED to die to avoid having to move!

         (This stops Daddy and he nods, almost smiles)

DADDY -  Good point, let me think on that.....

LYNN -  (Getting a little crazy)  Think on what?  No one wants to kill you!  We want you to be healthy and happy and I am sick and tired of listening to this!  I have so much to worry about, I do not need you two fighting over the silliest things!  So hear me NOW!

          (She points at Pam)

LYNN -  Daddy has decided to definitely NOT move into Whispering Pines!  That is his final answer!  And he has the right to stay near his coffee shop buddies even if they are all nuts!  It's still his life and he has a right to make his own decisions!

           (She turns to Daddy)

LYNN -  And you!  You just.....(splutters).....leave Pam alone!  She was just trying to help you find a place!  We are all trying to help you!  She has gotten some other places you can look at, and she can drive you around while I'm busy taking care of my husband who is about to have experimental surgery on his heart!

           (She takes a deep breath and the two of them stare at her)

PAM - Don't talk to Daddy that way!  Show him a little respect!

DADDY - Pamela, don't you talk to your sister that way - at least she can make seltzer water properly!

         (He turns to Lynn)

DADDY -  Why didn't you tell me about Andy?

LYNN -  I didn't want you to worry...with the move and all....

DADDY -  I'm not a baby, I can handle it!  And you, Pamela, don't you ever tell me where I have to live!  I know you just wanted me to move in there because they took care of all the meals - and you wouldn't have to worry about feeding me, or shopping for me....or.....

PAM -  That's not true, Daddy.....I thought you'd like it.....

DADDY -  And you could have eaten with me in that big fancy lunchroom.....

PAM -  That was a nice advantage....(Thinking reverently)...Free meal for all family visiting.......

DADDY - So you not only wouldn't have to cook for me, but you wouldn't have to defrost two TV dinners for you and your husband!

PAM -  Oh, I don't defrost the TV dinners, too many instructions, I have Barry do that.....

LYNN -  (Getting annoyed)  Let's just try for once to stay on the topic!  Pam is sorry you misunderstood, right Pam?

PAM -  Of course!

LYNN  -  And Daddy, you know you have to move.....that's what Pam's taking you there did, it made you realize you have to start looking at, what else did you find?

PAM -  Three other places near the coffee is a condo....

DADDY -  I told you I moved out of a house, I do not want to own property anymore!  How hard is that to remember!

PAM -  The next is a beautiful one, but only one bedroom....

DADDY -  I have to have two bedrooms!  One for me, and one for guests......

PAM -  You never have guests...

DADDY -  But I want to have the choice!

PAM -  Okay, okay!   So that was the three......but......there is one more ......

LYNN - Well?

PAM - I called up that nice lady in the office, Marty.....

DADDY - I told you not to talk to those people in the office unless I gave you permission...

PAM -  Daddy, I am 53, and if I want to call someone I will!

LYNN -  What did she say?

PAM -.....and she said......that there is another complex this company owns down the street, and there is a two-bedroom that just became available......

LYNN -  Oh, my God!

PAM -  And it is just like this one, same shape, same dimensions, only with new carpet and paint!

LYNN -  Isn't that fantastic!  Like an answer to our prayers!

DADDY -  But I'd still have to move there.....

LYNN/PAM - (Together, annoyed) Yes, Daddy, you'd still have to move!

           (The two start to laugh together, he holds up a finger and they laugh harder)

DADDY -  What's so funny about moving?

PAM -  And I contacted the people who moved me here, and they can do it all, take photos, pack, and you can be moved in one day!

           (Daddy looks at the two of them rejoicing and goes to get his jacket and cap)

LYNN -  Where are you going?

DADDY -  This is too good to lose!  Let's get moving!  What takes you two so long - I want to look at this place right now!

PAM -  Done.....

            (She texts and smiles)

PAM -  I figured you'd want to do this, so I told Marty we'd text her when we were ready to go...She's meeting us there in a few minutes......

           (Lynn gets Daddy's cane and they start to exit, walking throughout the audience, arriving back at his front door)

.PAM -  See, it's just over here.....and Marty said the key was under the mat.....

            (She reaches under the mat and removes a key)

PAM -  It'll look just like your place, only you'll have to use your imagination to picture your stuff here.....

              (They open the door and look around)

DADDY -  That's the silliest idea I ever heard.

LYNN -  But it works for me.....

DADDY -  No one would be surprised at that....

LYNN -  Your table would be here......

            (She indicates his table)

PAM -  And the cabinet there....

DADDY -  So all I want to know is....where do I sign?

           (Pam takes out an envelope and waves it at him)

PAM -  You won't need a deposit since you've lived here so long.....

DADDY - Good, they have enough of my money.....girls, you did great.  Pam, I'm glad you're back, I missed you.....and Lynn, I'm glad you never left! - I truly appreciate all you do for me.....

             (They hug each other, then Pam pulls away)

PAM -  There is one issue....

DADDY - I knew it!

PAM -  In a few years, this place will be torn down,, you will have to move then.....

LYNN -  So, Daddy, what would your plan be for that?

DADDY -  Same as it was now!

          (The lights start to dim as he takes a pen and starts to sign the papers)

LYNN -  And how did that work for you?

DADDY -  Not the way I planned!

              (The girls help him with the papers, he signs then looks up)

DADDY - All I know is, I hope it works better next time!

LYNN/PAM - (Together, mock horrified)  Daddy!

             (They laugh together as the lights freeze on them.  Blackout.)

The end of this apartment.  The beginning for another.....

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-83

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