Sunday, June 28, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #500 What's That Noise? (for Two Sisters) by Janet S. Tiger June 27, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 400!

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues -

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
Monologue Mania Day #500What's That Noise? (for Two Sisters)  by Janet S. Tiger  June 27, 2015
For those reading,  today is #500, and even though they can't all be gems (wait, that's the title from another day) and sometimes they can't be monologues until I weed out the other characters, they can all appreciate being read!  Many thanks for hanging with this for this year and almost a half- am keeping on because .....I doing these.

         This is from the one-act with other parts on Day # 487,  Day # 488, Day # 498, and Day # 499
                                                            What's that Noise?    (for Two Sisters)
                          This is not a monologue! by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved  2015                                                                               

           (We see Lynn opening the door to Daddy's as we hear Daddy start to yell.  Lynn has her hands full of groceries, but is worried, gets the door open, and drops all the bags on the floor, just as Daddy runs in waving a telephone.  He is enraged)

DADDY-  I hate this phone!  What are they trying to do to old people, drive us all crazy?  Isn't getting old bad enough!

LYNN -  Are you alright?

DADDY - Of course I'm not alright!  Do you remember this phone?

LYNN -  Of course I do, Daddy, it's the one you got yesterday from that nice man....

DADDY -  He was nice, the phone is not!

LYNN -  It was working fine yesterday....

DADDY -  Well, last night, when I went to sleep, I tried to turn it off....

LYNN - (Starting to get the picture)  That was a little complicated...

DADDY -  It was not!  Two this!

          (He presses the buttons)

DADDY-  Simple as pie!  Remember I had a TV repair shop?  And I know how to do these things!  I'm not senile yet!  And I read the directions!

          (He waves a booklet at her)

LYNN -  So what happened?

DADDY - I'm trying to tell you!  If you'd just be quiet and stop asking questions, you'd learn something!

         (She sighs and waits)

DADDY -  What was I saying?  I forgot what I was saying!

LYNN - What happened to the phone.....

DADDY - Don't interrupt me.....I pushed the buttons and I went to test the phones to make sure they were all off....

LYNN -  All twelve of them....

DADDY -  And this one makes thirteen....which is probably why I had such bad luck!

LYNN - That's probably the technical reason....

DADDY - And I called the phones and they were all off....except....

LYNN - For this one....

DADDY -  Did I say that?  No.  This phone was off, too!  No, when I turned this phone off, there was a ...a....(searches for the word)  ...a vibration!

LYNN -  Well then just unplug it from the wall.

DADDY - I don't have to unplug it from the wall, it's a line-in-only, remember?

LYNN - So just pull out the phone connection....

DADDY - I did that!  And it didn't help!

LYNN -  So what if the phone was vibrating.....put it in another room, under a pillow....with all these fans on, you can't hear it....

DADDY -  It wasn't the phone vibrating, it was.....THE WALL!  I went around going, 'what's that noise?'  'What's that noise?' It was infuriating!  But it was the wall!  The wall was......humming!

            (Lynn tries to stop from laughin)

LYNN -  The wall?  The wall was vibrating?

DADDY -  That's right, the wall!  And to get the vibration to stop....I had to take out the damn battery!

           (He shows her the battery and she stares at it.)

LYNN -  Well, that's different....

DADDY -  I know you don't believe me....

LYNN -  (Quickly) I never said that!

DADDY -  But you were thinking it!  So

           (He puts the battery back into the phone and plugs it in.)

LYNN -  Maybe you should call the nice man about this....

DADDY - Of course I'm going to call him.....

LYNN - (Doubtful)  I'm sure he's familiar with all these little peculiarities....

DADDY -  Certainly....

            (Then he pushes two buttons and the phone is on)

LYNN - Well, maybe it's working ok now.....maybe it just had to ...warm up?

DADDY -  Phones don't have to warm up!  These may be newfangled, but I used to sell phones and fix phones, and the walls are not supposed to vibrate when you turn them off!

            (He now presses the buttons and the phone shuts off.  There is silence)

LYNN -  Well, maybe you fixed it.....

DADDY -  Wait.....

            (There is a low hum, Lynn looks around.  Daddy walks over to the wall.)

LYNN -  Should I ask - what's that noise?

DADDY - (Triumphant)  It's coming from took me two hours to figure it out!

            (Lynn goes to the wall and puts her hand on it, shakes her head.  Daddy takes the phone and removes the battery.  The humming stops)

LYNN -  Amazing!

DADDY -  What'll they think of next!

LYNN - And if this isn't working properly....


LYNN  -  I'm sure he can bring a replacement....

        (Daddy is wrapping up the phone and putting it into the box, turns to leave, stops, looks back)

DADDY -  A replacement!  Forget it!  The next model will probably blow up!

          (As he closes the box, we see Pam approaching.  To be continued......)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-83

No comments: