Thursday, June 4, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #477 Mom, It's Time by Janet S. Tiger June 4, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #477  by Janet S. Tiger  June 4, 2015

                                             Mom, It's Time
                              A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved  2015                                                                             

              (This requires either a device that can be preset to react as desired by the actor, or a sound tech offstage.  Either way, the electronic device is the first thing we see - plugged in and very sturdy - it is as important a character as the woman who enters   She is older, and appears happy and calm at the beginning, goes over to the device and holds it up. .)

Isn't this a lovely gift my wonderful son gave me?

            (She holds up the contraption)
And so useful!  I am required to take two hundred fifty nine pills every day in order to survive to the next day so that I can take another two hundred fifty nine pills. 

Actually, two hundred fifty nine is an's something like 29, but I can't remember, that's why my boy got me this very important and useful present for Mother's Day.

And he preset tells me exactly when to take the's just about time

           (We hear....'Mom, It's Time to Take Your Pills Now' with a little bit of electronic noise after)

That's his voice, too!  How lovely!  So when I wake up in the morning, I hear the sound of Eddie.....and then I take the pills and push this button....

          (She indicates a button on the device)

You see, if I don't push the button, the device will remind me again.....

          (We hear the 'Mom, It's time to take your pills now' and she takes a pill, swallows it and pushes the button)

There!  All done.  Next reminder is in a few hours.  It will remind me again all day.  And on the front is the day and date...not that it makes any difference whatsoever what day it is, as I never get a day off from these pills!

           (It repeats....'Mom, It's time to take your pills now')

Ooops, maybe I didn't press the button hard enough.

           (She pushes more firmly)

I have no idea what most of these pills are for.....unless perhaps to keep the economy going....

           (Once again....'Mom, it's time to take your pills now'  she is getting a bit perturbed)

 Maybe I didn't press the right button.....

           (She examines the device, pressing every button on it - 'Mom, it's time to take your pills now')

Why won't it stop?  I can barely handle it when it goes off every few hours, but.....

           ('Mom, it's time to take your pills now' - she begins to get frantic)

Where did I put the directions?  I know he left me directions someplace!

            ('Mom, it's time to take your pills now' - she takes off her sweater and glasses, stares at the device closely)

What is the secret?  Why can't I remember?

             ('Mom, it's time to take your pills now')

(Screams)  Where in God's good name is the Shut up button?  It has to have a way.....

              ('Mom, it's time to take your pills now' - she now pulls out the plug.....sits heavily)

Not that I don't love hearing your voice dear, but this is too much!

               ('Mom, it's time to take your pills now' she is horrified)

It's like one of those horror movies!  Only it's not some little Chucky doll, it's a new nightmare!  The nightmare of old age!  I think they....

                ('Mom, it's time to take your pills now'  - she reads the bottom)

I knew it...there's a back-up battery!  AAAAAAAAHHHHH!
I must think clearly.......wait.....I know.......

                   ('Mom, it's time to take your pills now'.  She goes to a drawer and takes out a hammer, smiles)

                  ('Mom, it's time to take your pills now')

Come to Momma, we're going on a little trip.....

                   ('Mom, it's time to take your pills now'....she takes the device, turns to leave)'s time to go to the garbage pail!....Now!

                (She exits and we hear a big crash.....and maybe even a muffled...   'Mommmm, it's time ttto take your pills nowwww' - never the end of annoying modern devices)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8