Friday, June 26, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #499 End of Scene (for Two Sisters) by Janet S. Tiger June 26, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day #499 (for Two Sisters)  by Janet S. Tiger  June 26, 2015
             
              This is from the one-act with other parts on Day # 487,  Day # 488 and Day # 498

                                                            End of Scene       (for Two Sisters)
                          This is not a monologue! by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved  2015                                                                                       tigerteam1@gmail.com  

(But if you want  a monologue - see below for Daddy's Side)
    

         (Scene - Daddy's apartment. Outside porch area - simple setting to suggest this - patio chair, flowers.  Lynn is outside, eating a candy bar and crying.  Pam sees her and comes over, putting her arm around her)

PAM -  Are you alright?

LYNN -  (Wailing quietly)  Perfect!  Just peachy!  Doing great!

PAM -  So, is it the Snickers bar that is causing you such grief?

LYNN -  That's it, you guessed it....you should've been a detective....

PAM -  That's me, I can sniff out the truth anywhere ....well, at least I can sniff out fruit......

           (She strokes her sister's hair as her sister sobs)

PAM -  So, everything getting to be a little much?

LYNN -  Don't try to make me feel better!

PAM - No problem -  I'd say you're overdue for a good cry......

LYNN -  Ya think?

PAM - But have you thought of scheduling this so it doesn't interfere with your other chores?

LYNN - (Laughing and crying)   And don't try to make me laugh!

PAM -  Why not?  It's a good idea that's totally time efficient......Let's check your calendar....

           (She pretends to open a calendar and reads)

PAM -  Here's a good time - Saturday afternoon between 2 and 3pm is open....perfect for a good cry because your face can be all dried up and unpuffied by dinner.

LYNN -  Great, but what do I do now?  

PAM -  You just have to have a little....(smiling and hissing) discipline!  No more of this self-indulgence - crying whenever you want!

LYNN -  I told you - don't make me laugh, I have to go pee now!

PAM -  And that would be a completely efficient use of time - laughing, crying and going to the bathroom!  Bravo!

LYNN -  I think I just went....

          (They start to laugh together, then Lynn starts to blubber again)

LYNN -  I have so much to do and I have no idea how I'm going to do it!

PAM -  Well, I found a 'to do' list of yours, and after I read it, I had to go lie down.

LYNN -  You saw that?

PAM -  It was sticking out of your purse, I just wanted to make it a little neater....

LYNN -  Thank you, but please leave my list alone!

PAM -  Don't worry - I have no intention of doing anything on your list!  But I do have an idea why it's so long....

LYNN -  You do?

PAM - Of course, it's obvious that...... you're lazy.

          (They both laugh)

PAM -  You will just have to cut out all these silly wastes of time - like meeting with friends for an hour ......or sitting down and watching Judge Judy.....

LYNN -  I only watch Judy when I'm folding laundry!

PAM - There you go - have your friends come over ......and visit and while they're drinking their coffee and eating the delicious repast you have slaved over - while talking to them, you can fold the laundry.... Do you remember what granma used to say....'put a broom up my rear and I can sweep the floor at the same time'

LYNN/PAM (together) -  May she rest in peace!

PAM -  What would granma say now?

LYNN -  Time to leave the pity party.....

PAM -  Not at first....she was always sweet when there was a problem....

LYNN -  Not so sweet if you didn't take her advice......

PAM - Remember that guy you were dating?

LYNN -  Which one?  I can barely remember them it's been so long!

PAM - You remember....the basketball player who was very nice and good-looking, but not very bright?

LYNN -  (Remembers now)  Darren!

PAM -  Granma said he was so tall, the oxygen didn't get to his brain anymore......

LYNN -  (Laughs)  She was terrible!  But after that, I couldn't go out with hin!
        Wait a minute!  I told you not to make me laugh!

PAM -  Too late, damage done......

LYNN -  (Sighs heavily, wipes eyes)  I guess, it's just I hate these decisions.....

PAM -  I know it's tough.....and Dad having to move....

LYNN -  Not just Dad....

PAM - (Starting to figure it out)  How did that doctor's appointment go?

LYNN -  (Sighs)  Interesting.  They want to put in a pacemaker.into my 60 year old husband....

PAM - No decision there, that's an easy operation.....

LYNN - But they are offering Andy a chance to have the new experimental pacemaker, the one that doesn't require the wires and goes in through his leg, and has less possible complications....

PAM -  And that's a problem because?

LYNN -  Because it's new, and not tested on millions of people yet, just thousands.....

PAM -  But what about all the monkeys they try these on?  And the guinea pigs?  Don't they count?

LYNN -  Well, good for you, that made me feel all better....

PAM - Happy to help!  Just call me..'Little Miss Sunshine!'

LYNN - I guess it because...it's all at the same time.  And ....I can't tell Dad, because he gets all upset if someone is sick......but I may have to tell him, which is another difficult decision.....

PAM - Decisions are a lot like bad weather, all at once......

LYNN - It's like my brain is made of spaghetti!

PAM -  As long as it's not cantaloupe!

LYNN -  You and cantaloupe......

        (They giggle)

LYNN -  And now Dad having to move....it's like the straw that broke this camel's back.....

PAM - Well, Miss Camelback, I did a little research, there is a wonderful place not far from here......it's called (reverently).....Whispering Pines.....

LYNN -  (Thinks)  I know that place, and it's not that close.

PAM -  Well we have cars.

LYNN -  You know Daddy isn't driving anymore

PAM -  That's the beauty of it!  WP is self- contained!  Daddy could have all his meals there, and walk around and make new friends!

LYNN -  But he loves the coffee shop, that's his favorite thing to do socially....

PAM -  Socially?  Half the people there are nuts - certifiable, may I add - you can't object to him going into a nice place, can you?

LYNN -  It's not my decision, it's his!

PAM -  Of course it is, so long as he makes the right decision!  

LYNN -  He won't even look at anything!  And I found a list he made, a 'to do' list, and the last item on it was......(shudders)  Die.

PAM -  You do realize he did that to annoy you.

LYNN -  I'm not so sure....

PAM -  Leave it to me.... I have an idea how to get him to visit.....

LYNN -  Do tell....

PAM -  You know that lady at the coffee shop he has  a big crush on?  Sophia?  The one he thinks looks like Sophia Loren?

LYNN -  If you squint....and close your eyes.....

PAM -  It's his crush, not mine....just listen!  It turns out that Sophia has some friends at ....the Pines, and we can get a free lunch if we tour the place.....

LYNN -  Free lunch, now there's an incentive....they used to offer TV sets to tour timeshare, but a free lunch at an old age home....

PAM -  It's not an old age home!  A lot of people our age live there - if we had the money, I would live there.....I'd never have to make another meal.....what a paradise!

LYNN - For you, maybe, and much as the free lunch is a magical opportunity,  I just don't know if I have the time...there's so many doctors appointments.....

PAM -  That's the beauty, while you're taking care of  Andy, I can take Daddy to look....with Sophia!

LYNN -  Well, I guess it's a start......and what could possibly go wrong?

            (There is a fast blackout on them and then lights up as we hear Daddy yelling at the top of his lungs)

DADDY - Nevah!  Did you hear me?  Nevah, nevah....NEVAH!

         (Lynn is trying to talk with him but he is in a rage)

DADDY - I am writing your sister out of the will!  And I will never talk with her again!  And if you think anything can change my mind, well, you are WRONG!

LYNN - Pamela was only trying to help, Daddy! You know you have to move and you only have a few weeks to find a place!

DADDY -  It's not an apartment!  She told me I would have an apartment!  It was one room, and I would have to walk to get my breakfast!  In my pajamas, because at 88, no one is going to force me to get dressed before breakfast!

        (He is running around, looking for something)

DADDY -  Your sister must have hidden my will, because she knew I'd disown her!  And the most horrible part is.....did I tell you, Lynn?

LYNN -  Probably...

DADDY -  The most horrible part was.....that they used my sweetie Sophia as.....as bait!
When I was a young man, I had a friend who worked in the yards, where they kill the cattle, and they would have one pretty cow lead the others in to their slaughter!  And they would follow, because she was a pretty cow!

That's what your sister did!  And.......the worst part is....

LYNN -  Is this different from the most horrible part?

DADDY - The worst part is....everyone there was....(sputtering)  OLD!  As in...ANCIENT!

LYNN -  How old could they be?

DADDY - Old enough to be repeating the same stories every two minutes.  I mean, I know I tell the same stories over and over, but at least I try to wait an hour or two.....this was.....IMPOSSIBLE!

LYNN -  (Attempting rationality)  Look, Daddy, I know you're upset, but Pam only meant well....

DADDY -  Really?  I mean well, too!  Here it is, I knew I could find it....

          (He is triumphant, holding up an envelope)

DADDY -  I'm calling up your cousin the attorney, and he is going to change this....now!

LYNN -  (Starting to get worried)  Daddy, please! 

         (She tries to get the envelope, but he pulls it away)

DADDY -  Get away from me!  If you side with her, I don't have to talk with you, either!

LYNN -  But.....

          (He holds up his hand and she stops)

DADDY -  I'm warning you!  This is serious!  

          (He marches offstage brandishing the will, stops, and looks back)

DADDY -  The Whispering Pines actually whispered to me, and do you know what they said?  They whispered....(shouts)  DON'T COME HERE!

           (He exits and Lynn runs after him.  Curtain)

      
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For those wanting a real monologue, the final section with Daddy can be modified like this -
                      Daddy's Side

              (Daddy runs onstage, furious, looking for something)

 Nevah!  Did you hear me?  Nevah, nevah....NEVAH!

 I am writing your sister out of the will!  And I will never talk with her again!  And if you think anything can change my mind, well, you are WRONG!

              (Listens, get angrier)

I don't care if she means well, she lied to me!   It's not an apartment!  She told me I would have an apartment!  It was one room, and I would have to walk to get my breakfast!  In my pajamas, because at 88, no one is going to force me to get dressed before breakfast!

        (He keeps looking frantically)

 Your sister must have hidden my will, because she knew I'd disown her!  And the most horrible part is.....did I tell you, Lynn?

 The most horrible part was.....that they used my sweetie Sophia as.....as bait!
When I was a young man, I had a friend who worked in the yards, where they kill the cattle, and they would have one pretty cow lead the others in to their slaughter!  And they would follow, because she was a pretty cow!

That's what your sister did!  And.......the worst part is....

 The worst part is....everyone there was....(sputtering)  OLD!  As in...ANCIENT!

           (Listens)

 Old enough to be repeating the same stories every two minutes.  I mean, I know I tell the same stories over and over, but at least I try to wait an hour or two.....this was.....IMPOSSIBLE!

        (Listens, shakes head)
Really?  I mean well, too!  Here it is, I knew I could find it....

          (He is triumphant, holding up an envelope)

 I'm calling up your cousin the attorney, and he is going to change this....now!

         (She tries to get the envelope, but he pulls it away)

  Get away from me!  If you side with her, I don't have to talk with you, either!

          (He holds up his hand)

 I'm warning you!  This is serious!  

          (He marches offstage brandishing the will, stops, and looks back)

  The Whispering Pines actually whispered to me, and do you know what they said?  They whispered....(shouts)  DON'T COME HERE!

           (He exits. End of scene.)


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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-83

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