Saturday, July 29, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1262 The God Forbid List (revisited for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) July 29, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1262 The God Forbid List (revisited) by Janet S. Tiger (c) July 29, 2017       

     For the first piece in this duo, please see below this.

                                The God Forbid List     (revisited)
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved 

Two sisters - Sister 1  (S1)
                    Sister 2  (S2)
       (The two sisters come out, Sister 2 holding a list which she is studying)

S2 -  Is it really a year since we were here talking about our God Forbid list?

S1 -  Almost - and we promised we'd come back every year with an update, so, here we are Senior Channel fans!

S2-  I'm afraid that we have good news and bad news.

S1 -  The good news is - none of the things on the list happened!

S2 -  That really is good news!  Yeah!  Unfortunately, the bad news is that, whereas last year, we had to report that we had done nothing on the list.....

S1 -  Kind of, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

S2 -  Not at all, because this year, I am sad to say is....what have we done on the list is.... less than nothing because...... more things have been added to the list!  Like...

S1 - What happens if we have to move someone into another home or apartment...

S2  - Or assisted living?

S1 - Or what if, and this is a really big problem.....what if something happens to...

S1 and S2 - Together - US!

        (They shudder)

S2  -  Now, I feel that this means we have gone backwards....but, my sister does not feel that way because.....

S1  -   Because I've given up on the list completely!  And I am not going to worry about it anymore!

S2  -  That's because I do the worrying.

S1  -  You see how that works out perfectly?

S2  -  (Thinks)  When you put it that way....maybe you're right.....

S1  -  Of course I'm right.....I'm so glad you finally came to that intelligent conclusion!

S2  -  So what we do now?  For our family?  For all our fans?

S1  - What do we do?  We can be grateful for what we have TODAY!  And not take for granted that we are able to worry......and besides, there really is only one thing to do - 

       (Sister 1 takes the list and rips it up)

S2  -  Well that's helpful.

S1  -  We can always get another one - and probably a better one! - online.

S2  -  Isn't this really....procrastination?

S1  - Of course it is!  Thank God we can procrastinate!    For now, I think a nice bowl of ice cream is in order......

          (They turn to exit, stop and look back)

S2   -  Ice cream may not be the solution for all the problems on the God Forbid list....

S1  -  But it's sure ahead of all the rest!

          (They exit to another day of enjoyable procrastination!)

Monologue Mania Day #934 The God Forbid List (for the Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 3,  2016

First installment of the Senile Sisters here
This may also be used somewhere in CAREGIVERS ANONYMOUS
                                 The God Forbid List
                                              (for Senile Sisters - Senior Channel)
                                                        by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                  © 2016 all rights reserved

     (The two sisters come onstage holding a framed paper)

SISTER ONE - Here it is folks!

SISTER TWO - Can you get the camera to do a close-up?

         (They hold up the paper like a prize)

S1 -  There!  Impressive, right?

S2 -   I hope so, because I have no idea what it is?

S1 -  You silly thing's a list we did over two years ago!  I just found it in the pile!

S2 -  Two years ago?  You must mean a million years ago....

S1 - Close enough!  See what we called the list.....

          (They read together)


S2 - Wow!  Isn't that supposed to be the 10 Commandments?

S1 -  No, you silly thing......this is the list we made after mama fell getting the mail! When we saw something on Dr. Oz and realized we were woefully unprepared for .....

S2 -  I remember!  It's all the things we need to do to prepare for what to do ...(slowly) case.....

S1 -  In case someone is sick.....we need updated medical records and meds lists!

S2 -  In case someone is moving.....

S1 - In case......there's an....

        (They lean over together conspiratorially)

S1 and S2 -  An emergency!

S1  - That's why we called it the 'God Forbid' list....

S2 -  In case someone falls down.....

S1 and S2 - (Together)  God forbid!

S1 -  In case there's some horrible hurricane.....

S2 - With flooding!

S1 - And no electricity!

S2 -  Or a fire!

S1 and S2 -  God forbid!

S2 -  Or if......(hushed)  someone......

S1 -  (Loud)  Don't say it!

S2 - (Quickly)  If someone dies!

S1 and S2 -  GOD FORBID!

         (They hug each other)

S2 - But look at the list...exactly...out of the whole many of these things did we actually do?

         (They examine the list carefully and start laughing)

S1 -  Not wills done yet!

S2  -  And certainly no emergency preparations!  Wait, I think....I think we did two things!

S1 -  (Surprised)  Really?  (Doubtful)  Which ones?

S2 -  Number 2 -  MAKE A LIST!

S1  -  You're right....and here's another.......Send List to Each Other!  We did that, too!

S2 -  Two out of.....(counts) 37!

S1 -  That's definitely a percentage...or is it a fraction?

S2 -'s definitely a percentage or a fraction......and we can also say a big thank you, because none of the horrible things happened......

S1  -  That's the best part......And we wish it for all of you in Senior Channel Land!  A God Forbid List that never needs to be done!

        (They turn to leave, stop, look back)

S2 -  Is this our last show?

S1 and S2 -  GOD FORBID!

        (They laugh and exit - may you have no need to catch up on your God Forbid list!)

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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