Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
7/11
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved 2014 tigerteam1@gmail.com
(Man about 30-35 comes onstage, wearing a jacket.)
Lucky seven. Never lucky for me. I actually liked the number 13 better, because a lotta good things happened to me on Friday the 13th.
I got born on a Friday the 13th. I got married on a Friday the 13th - by accident, not on purpose. We eloped on April 12th, and we drove all night to get to Maryland, where you didn't need blood tests and papers and nothing except 20 bucks. But we got there at 11:30pm, in the rain, and the guy and his wife who did the ceremony and everything, they were in bed, so they had to get up and get dressed, and by the time we said 'I do', it was Friday the 13th.
We didn't notice till the next day, but it sure didn't matter, because that was the best day of my life. Until my son was born, yeah, you guessed it, on Friday the 13th! Amazing, huh?
We should be, like, I guess, in that book of world records, the beer book, what's the name? Guiness I think......that's us, record book people.
But I guess luck is a little like beer….sooner or later the glass is empty.
You see for a lot of people the numbers seven and eleven are lucky. 7/11, somehow, those numbers never worked for me.
You see, I died in a 7/11 store......a robbery that went very wrong.
(Listens)
Was I the store keeper or the robber? Was I the guy who needed money, so he goes into the place…..and takes something and puts it over his face…….. (Takes a stocking and pulls it on his head, puts his hand in his jacket pocket) Okay, be cool. This gun can blast a hole in my pocket – or in your head But if you give me the money we can both live instead…..Come on, no fast moves, man And then he reaches for the cash drawer and I hear the sound of it opening…..
(He is ecstatic, then looks down at his stomach)
I guess he didn’t hear what I said….. Man, is that my blood? Is it really so red?
(He pulls off the stocking and puts it by the wound, falling to the floor.)
So this is what it’s really like…..to be dead…..
(He lies quietly on the ground, then gets up, looking at where he was)
Or was I the manager, who had to take the job, because the shipyard closed and I couldn’t get a welding job so fast, and with a new baby, it was tough.
(He holds his hands up. He is afraid but trying not to show it.)
Hey, man, be cool. I’ll give you everything in the drawer, just put the gun down, ok?
(He reaches below the counter, then hands the money over.)
That’s all there is, man, I can’t open the safe, it’s on a time-lock…
(He then grabs his shoulder, spins around, horrified.)
Hey, I gave you all the money! What’d you do that for……..you shot me for 24 bucks…..
(He falls to his knees)
And a box of raisinets……..I died for a damned box of raisin.....……..
(He falls, motionless, then stands and looks at the body, then at the other place his body fell)
So what was I? The thief or the manager?
(He starts to walk off, stops, looks back)
Does it matter? I’m still dead!
(He puts his hands in his pockets as he exits. The end.)
first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 - today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 1240!
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Monologue Mania Day # 1244 7/11 by Janet S. Tiger (c) July 11, 2017
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved 2014 tigerteam1@gmail.com
(Man about 30-35 comes onstage, wearing a jacket.)
Lucky seven. Never lucky for me. I actually liked the number 13 better, because a lotta good things happened to me on Friday the 13th.
I got born on a Friday the 13th. I got married on a Friday the 13th - by accident, not on purpose. We eloped on April 12th, and we drove all night to get to Maryland, where you didn't need blood tests and papers and nothing except 20 bucks. But we got there at 11:30pm, in the rain, and the guy and his wife who did the ceremony and everything, they were in bed, so they had to get up and get dressed, and by the time we said 'I do', it was Friday the 13th.
We didn't notice till the next day, but it sure didn't matter, because that was the best day of my life. Until my son was born, yeah, you guessed it, on Friday the 13th! Amazing, huh?
We should be, like, I guess, in that book of world records, the beer book, what's the name? Guiness I think......that's us, record book people.
But I guess luck is a little like beer….sooner or later the glass is empty.
You see for a lot of people the numbers seven and eleven are lucky. 7/11, somehow, those numbers never worked for me.
You see, I died in a 7/11 store......a robbery that went very wrong.
(Listens)
Was I the store keeper or the robber? Was I the guy who needed money, so he goes into the place…..and takes something and puts it over his face…….. (Takes a stocking and pulls it on his head, puts his hand in his jacket pocket) Okay, be cool. This gun can blast a hole in my pocket – or in your head But if you give me the money we can both live instead…..Come on, no fast moves, man And then he reaches for the cash drawer and I hear the sound of it opening…..
(He is ecstatic, then looks down at his stomach)
I guess he didn’t hear what I said….. Man, is that my blood? Is it really so red?
(He pulls off the stocking and puts it by the wound, falling to the floor.)
So this is what it’s really like…..to be dead…..
(He lies quietly on the ground, then gets up, looking at where he was)
Or was I the manager, who had to take the job, because the shipyard closed and I couldn’t get a welding job so fast, and with a new baby, it was tough.
(He holds his hands up. He is afraid but trying not to show it.)
Hey, man, be cool. I’ll give you everything in the drawer, just put the gun down, ok?
(He reaches below the counter, then hands the money over.)
That’s all there is, man, I can’t open the safe, it’s on a time-lock…
(He then grabs his shoulder, spins around, horrified.)
Hey, I gave you all the money! What’d you do that for……..you shot me for 24 bucks…..
(He falls to his knees)
And a box of raisinets……..I died for a damned box of raisin.....……..
(He falls, motionless, then stands and looks at the body, then at the other place his body fell)
So what was I? The thief or the manager?
(He starts to walk off, stops, looks back)
Does it matter? I’m still dead!
(He puts his hands in his pockets as he exits. The end.)
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First posted Day # 212 - 7/11 Sept. 12, 2014
* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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