Sunday, July 23, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1256 Too Many Holidays! (for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) July 23, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1256 Too Many Holidays by Janet S. Tiger (c) July 23, 2017      

                               Too Many Holidays   (c)
                                                              (for the Senior Channel)
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved 

        (Older man comes on, wearing a Santa hat, a New Year's diaper, and a flag, which he waves)

This should cover all the important days......

       (He indicates the Santa hat, and puts the flag in the belt of the diaper)

Christmas, New Year's and the flag days......

How many damn holidays do we need?  Look at what I found on the damn Internet....

       (Looks to the side)

Sorry.....look what I found on the DARN Internet....

       (Takes out a list from the diaper, opens it and reads, illustrating each one)

Mango Day!  Thread the Needle Day!  Gorgeous Grandma Day! International Reggae Day!  Build a Scarecrow Day! Tell an Old Joke Day!  Well, I'm an old joke and I'd like to tell these folks something.......we don't need no more damned.....I mean DARNED holidays!

No one works anymore!   Now, I'm retired and I have worked to earn the right not to work, but all these young people, they need to forget about all these holidays!  My God! There's a holiday every day!  Sometimes a few on one day!

So let's just get back to the basics.....Christmas......

       (He wags the Santa hat)

New Year's....

       (He shakes the diaper, then waves the flag through the rest)

And Memorial Day and the 4th of July and Labor Day and the President's and Veteran's Day and that the hell should be all!  Or maybe a new one.....the NO Holiday!

       (He leaves, reading)

Hmm...... Chili Dog Day.....that's different......for some reason, all of a sudden, I'm hungry...

       (He exits to another day off)
These are all real holidays!  Check it out here
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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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