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Underestimating
(for Tempted Murder)
first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 - today! *********
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I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
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Monologue Mania Day #914 Underestimating Intelligence (for Tempted Murder) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 14, 2016
Underestimating
(for Tempted Murder)
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2016 all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
.
(This is the same man from Day # 912 - but this monologue is earlier in the time of the play. The man is big, bigger than life, not young, but with the vitality of a much younger man. He is perfectly dressed, and he is amazed)
I can't believe it myself! I am up in the polls! I swear....have been trying my best....God knows I say things that I cannot believe will make the polls go up for me! Sometimes I just try something out for fun....like last week, when I said no one should be on welfare, that it was a waste of money, that for every person on welfare, there were five people working to take care of them......and that if we stopped the craziness, all those five people would have more money to spend, so more jobs would be created and we wouldn't need welfare!
What kind of logic is that? I mean, it barely made sense when it came out of my mouth, I figured every one on welfare and everyone who had ever been on welfare would be horrified, but no! I got 5 extra points for that!
And you're asking me to stop? What should I say? That the people with guns should go and shoot you? Do you really want me to make that suggestion? I didn't think so! So let me think, I may have another sure fire idea to get more people to hate me......it's based on no more cheap imports! Force Americans to buy American made stuff! I could stomp on some cheap toasters! That will look good on youtube......
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back, has an idea)
(Thinking) Wait a minute.....maybe.... we could send troops to the moon to stop Russia and China from colonizing there.....that sounds crazy enough for some front page publicity!.....
(Mutters to himself. End of scene)
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The title today is drawn from H. L. Menken's quote -
No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.
(1926 -Chicago Tribune)
(This is the same man from Day # 912 - but this monologue is earlier in the time of the play. The man is big, bigger than life, not young, but with the vitality of a much younger man. He is perfectly dressed, and he is amazed)
I can't believe it myself! I am up in the polls! I swear....have been trying my best....God knows I say things that I cannot believe will make the polls go up for me! Sometimes I just try something out for fun....like last week, when I said no one should be on welfare, that it was a waste of money, that for every person on welfare, there were five people working to take care of them......and that if we stopped the craziness, all those five people would have more money to spend, so more jobs would be created and we wouldn't need welfare!
What kind of logic is that? I mean, it barely made sense when it came out of my mouth, I figured every one on welfare and everyone who had ever been on welfare would be horrified, but no! I got 5 extra points for that!
And you're asking me to stop? What should I say? That the people with guns should go and shoot you? Do you really want me to make that suggestion? I didn't think so! So let me think, I may have another sure fire idea to get more people to hate me......it's based on no more cheap imports! Force Americans to buy American made stuff! I could stomp on some cheap toasters! That will look good on youtube......
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back, has an idea)
(Thinking) Wait a minute.....maybe.... we could send troops to the moon to stop Russia and China from colonizing there.....that sounds crazy enough for some front page publicity!.....
(Mutters to himself. End of scene)
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The title today is drawn from H. L. Menken's quote -
No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.
(1926 -Chicago Tribune)
- The first sentence is often paraphrased as "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people." (The Yale Book of Quotations, 2006, p. 512)
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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