Friday, August 26, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #926 Last T-shirt by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 26, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #926 by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 26,  2016 

                                               Last T-Shirt
                                          A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                          © 2016 all rights reserved

        (This is a salesman, and he is really selling it!  He enters with a big smile, then takes a massive fall.)

I've fallen, and I can't get up!  You've heard it, you know it, well, it's time you get off your keester and buy this button!

         (Pulls out a necklace with a device attached, waves it at the audience)

If you have a young person around you don't even have to get off that keester!  Have that youngster order you a Save Your Life button!  From the Save Your Life Goddamit!  company that you all know and love!

What're you waiting for?  Haven't you ever fallen down?  Haven't you ever had a friend who fell down?   If you said 'no' - I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!  And if you said 'yes'?  What the hell are you waiting for?  For something horrible to happen and you're lying there on the floor WISHING YOU HAD BOUGHT THIS?

            (He takes out a cloth and wipes his brow)

Well, I did my best.  If you don't listen to reason.....I have another item you can purchase for only $5.99..........

           (He opens the cloth and it's a T-shirt - he holds it up)

If you're not gonna buy this useful device because you want to just lie there and die........just get this T-shirt that says....'Step Over Me'....

          (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I can guarantee it's the last T-shirt you'll ever need!

           (He exits - but I don't want my friends and family members who need this device to exit, so PLEASE get the button!)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.