Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 - today! *********
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
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Monologue Mania Day #920 In Order of Appearance (apologies to Will Shakespeare) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 20, 2016 (revised for use in Caregivers, but not sure where)
Originally posted Day #91 (c) May 14, 2014
In Order of Appearance
(With apologies to Will Shakespeare)
by Janet S. Tiger
© 2014 all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(This is a piece for more advanced actors. It must be performed smoothly, no seams, seamlessly, you get the idea. The actor - either gender - crawls out onstage, and looks around. Smiles, is a real baby, cries, smiles again, then slowly, stands up, speaks like a small child.)
Wow! What a life! How beautiful! What delicious smells! Well, maybe not all of them…..
And this nice big person taking care of me.....wow! Taking care......I like how that feels....
In Order of Appearance
(With apologies to Will Shakespeare)
by Janet S. Tiger
© 2014 all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(This is a piece for more advanced actors. It must be performed smoothly, no seams, seamlessly, you get the idea. The actor - either gender - crawls out onstage, and looks around. Smiles, is a real baby, cries, smiles again, then slowly, stands up, speaks like a small child.)
Wow! What a life! How beautiful! What delicious smells! Well, maybe not all of them…..
And this nice big person taking care of me.....wow! Taking care......I like how that feels....
(Looks around in awe)
What an amazing day! They call it …(tries to remember the word) ...a birt….day……
This is all mine! Why does it take forever to get a birt-day? Why can’t I have another one tomorrow? Wait a minute....
(Stands up straighter now. More arrogant, struts around the stage)
How do they get to tell me what to do? They don’t know anything!...(more excited) I can’t wait to be them, so I can rule the world! And do it right!
(Sees something go by, takes a deep breath0
So beautiful! I want that! Give that to me!
(Steps back as if slapped)
That was harsh! (Wisdom dawning dimly) Maybe…I can’t have everything I want….
(Looks as something whizzes by, speaks as an adult)
Whoa! Was that another birthday? Where did it go?
(Looks at it gone in amazement)
How did my kid get to be eight years old? What did she ask today? Why does it take so long for a birthday.......(laughs)////Taking care of these kids takes so much.......well, caring! ......Their birthday comes so fast........ itt used to take a hundred years to get to a birthday and now, it’s like I can’t keep up……how old am I now?
(Turns around, shoulders are now hunched a bit, voice is no longer young.)
Why can’t I see anything without my glasses? And how can I find my glasses if I can’t see where my glasses are? And where did all these damned wrinkles come from? Who cares about to be or not to be! I want my youth back! Give me my twenty-five back! Or even forty-five….
(Saying this, the shoulders stoop further, the voice gets more frail)
….or sixty-five……..or….even seventy-five……Why are you trying to get me to work on that damned computer – I told you, to quote a king - I am too old to learn! And stop worrying about me......I can TAKE CARE of myself!.......
(A cane is now needed and the person peers into the audience)
…how old am I anyhow? Didn’t I just have a birthday? Wasn’t it yesterday? Seems like it…. …Is this the seventh stage? Or am I on my third leg now? Am I mixing up Oedipus and Shakespeare again? I guess when the age is in, the twit is out…
I think I missed a few - the soldier, the judge and jury…..
You be the judge…..where do we all fit into this gigantic reality show we call life?
(Hobbles offstage, slowly, turns back)
Are you coming to help me?
(Reaches out the hand without the cane)
Thank you….you’re a good child……you take good care of me........did I ever tell you the story about a famous king with no eyes…….he answered a question from the Sphinx……(laughs) …no, the SPHINX… not the Stinks……
(Exits. The circle is complete)
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This monologue has references to Shakespeare and Oedipus/the Sphinx question -Shakespeare references - [JACQUES] As You Like It
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;
And then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Oedipus - (from the myth)
Oedipus encountered a Sphinx, who would stop all travelers to Thebes and ask them a riddle. If the travelers were unable to answer her correctly, they would be killed and eaten; if they were successful, they would be free to continue on their journey. The riddle was: "What walks on four feet in the morning, two in the afternoon and three at night?". Oedipus answered: "Man: as an infant, he crawls on all fours; as an adult, he walks on two legs and; in old age, he uses a 'walking' stick". Oedipus was the first to answer the riddle correctly and, having heard Oedipus' answer, the Sphinx allowed him to carry on forward.
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
1 comment:
Well done. This would be such fun to do!
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