Monday, August 1, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #901 Virgil's Reasoning (for Mr. Lemonhead) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 1, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #901 Virgil's Reasoning (for Mr. Lemonhead) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 1,  2016

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                                              Virgil's Reasoning
                                                    (from Mr. Lemonhead)
                                                 by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2010 all rights 

              (This is Virgil, Elmira's husband, and he is telling Myrna why he takes his time taking out the garbage.  He too has a Southern accent, though perhaps from another area)

Of course I'll take out the garbage….I told Elmira I would, so I will.

            (He sits down and pours himself some iced tea, notices annoyance.)

Don’t get your panties in a twist….it’ll get done….

             (Listens, laughs)

Now that’s why I’m a happy person and most people are not.

You see, I understand something very important.  No matter how much I do or how fast, it will never be enough – or fast enough for your sister.   So, my job in this house is to be happy, and to do that, I do things in my own time.  Most people have no idea how to be happy, but I have spent a lot of time studying people.

Most people think when I’m doing nothing, that I’m not doin’ anything….but in reality, I am thinkin'

Your sister is a person who will never be happy.  Even if she was the President of the World and had solved the problem of intergallatic peace, it would not be enough for her.  The garbage wouldn’t have been taken out to the black garbage hole in time …. And if she wasn’t searching for a problem, she’d be remembering when something had gone wrong, and who was to blame… I right?

I, on the other hand, know the value of doing nothin’, which is a very important skill that most people never cultivate.  Children have it, but it is quickly beaten out of them – not physically, but through school and life.  I know the secret – the more you do, the less people appreciate it…..

       (He turns to leave, stops, looks at the garbage and smiles)

So when I finally do take out the garbage, it will be very appreciated.  

        (He exits....he'll get to the garbage....later)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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