Sunday, August 28, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #928 The Un-graduate (revised) (c) Aug. 28, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #928  The Un-graduate (revised) (c) Aug. 28,  2016 

Originally posted  Day # 246   Oct. 16, 2014

                                            The Un-graduate

                         A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved 2014

             (A young man appears, dressed very casually, he is definitely happy and very stoned.  Or is it very happy and definitely stoned?)

Hey, Dad, how's it going?  I read that letter you sent me, whoa, heavy stuff.  I mean, I know I smoked your whole stash, but I had to share with my friends, right?  That's what you taught me, right?  To share?  That's why I think you're so cool, Dad, you always were trying to teach me the right way to do things......and now, I mean, I think you're right, we should be honest with each other.

You've been a great, Dad, and that is the truth.  I mean, you've been paying for college since I graduated from high school, and that was like....(thinks, counts on his fingers) like, eight years ago.  And I don't have a degree yet, and that, I think, could be my fault, because, you see, like I haven't been in school since that first semester.  I mean, I haven't been enrolled because they kicked me out, and the classes I go to are just ....well, to hang out with friends.

             (He ducks as if something was thrown at him)

Whoa!  Dad!  Isn't that a little harsh?  I mean, I am your son still, and even if I have some problems, we're still like, related, so,, it's not like you and Mom, and the divorce, I mean you can't divorce me, right?  I'm still your son?

            (Listens, now not so happy)

Oh.  I didn't realize you could cut off my allowance.  I thought that was just for, like you know, doing bad things, like if I got arrested or something.  Or hurt somebody.    Not for a little thing like missing a few days of school, right?

            (Backs up from the screaming)

Okay, okay, I can hear you!  Whoa! But  I know education meant so much to you!  I did!  That's why I didn't tell you all the details, I figured, it might upset you a little, and I can see that I was right......I'm not so stupid, right?  I figured that out all by myself!


Move out?  Now?  Like, this minute?  Like ....I don't have time to find another place?  (Listens)  Well, I guess 
if you look at it like that.....eight years is a bit of time , but this is not a great day to go looking, I mean, I don't have a job, so I don't have any money, and that kind of makes it hard to rent a place, you know?


I guess you have a point, I could stay with friends, but your place is so much nicer, Dad.  I mean, you have a lot of room, and a nice jacuzzi, and you even have a maid clean up our mess, and you always have good food.  And without a job, I don't think I can afford a maid.  (Brightens)  But wait a minute, I have an about this.......

           (He reaches into his pocket and takes out a joint, offers it)

Here, it's my last one....(quickly)  okay, maybe your last one........but I think you need it more....why don't we share it and then, you see if you feel the same way?  Okay?  We can mellow out together!  It's a really beautiful day, we can soak in the hot tub together, right.....(thinks)  soak and toke, I like that, maybe I should get a job as a poet!

           (He keeps the joint offered, then it is taken, and he smiles)

I knew you'd be reasonable, Dad, you always are about the important things!

            (He turns to exit, reaches into his pocket)

Hey, look what I found!  

           (As he exits, lighting the newly found joint, we hear...)

Looks like it's gonna be a good day after all!  Hey, Dad, did I ever tell you about that class where they kicked me out for smoking in that was epic!

           (He exits, smiling....forever in 'high' school.)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info. 

1 comment:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

What a fun monologue to do!