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Tempted Murder
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Monologue Mania Day #912 Tempted Murder (from the upcoming play) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 12, 2016
Tempted Murder
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2016 all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
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(The man is big, bigger than life, not young, but with the vitality of a much younger man. He is perfectly dressed, and he is FURIOUS)
Of course I don't want to be President! Who the hell spends a half a billion dollars to get a job that doesn't pay for a decent house! But things are different now, baby......and you are the reason!
(Listens, laughs)
What do you mean, we had a deal? You mean that deal two years ago when you agreed if I ran, and I was nominated to run against you, that you would just let me shoot myself in the foot over and over, so you could be the first woman President ? And - in appreciation - you would make sure I could control the entire future entertainment business of what is about to replace cable? The deal where I could say whatever I wanted, and you could make fun of anything, but you.....listen closely....you couldn't attack my family, no matter what!
That was the deal I remember! And frankly, I don't care what you say about my children, they're big enough to defend themselves. My mother is dead long enough so that I have no worries about her......and God knows that I don't give a rat's patootie about anything you say about Ursa.....the only reason she went along with this was I promised to buy her an island! But once you opened your god-awful mouth about my....my.....(sputters)....beloved Tinkly....the most beautiful dog in the whole world! - that changed everything!
(He is truly affected, wipes his eyes, then turns vicious)
All bets are off! You are in for a fight now, sister.....and I can tell you....you ain't seen nothing yet!
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back, smiles)
And maybe, just maybe, when I get elected......I'll figure out a way to hang you!
(He exits, laughing. End of scene)
(The man is big, bigger than life, not young, but with the vitality of a much younger man. He is perfectly dressed, and he is FURIOUS)
Of course I don't want to be President! Who the hell spends a half a billion dollars to get a job that doesn't pay for a decent house! But things are different now, baby......and you are the reason!
(Listens, laughs)
What do you mean, we had a deal? You mean that deal two years ago when you agreed if I ran, and I was nominated to run against you, that you would just let me shoot myself in the foot over and over, so you could be the first woman President ? And - in appreciation - you would make sure I could control the entire future entertainment business of what is about to replace cable? The deal where I could say whatever I wanted, and you could make fun of anything, but you.....listen closely....you couldn't attack my family, no matter what!
That was the deal I remember! And frankly, I don't care what you say about my children, they're big enough to defend themselves. My mother is dead long enough so that I have no worries about her......and God knows that I don't give a rat's patootie about anything you say about Ursa.....the only reason she went along with this was I promised to buy her an island! But once you opened your god-awful mouth about my....my.....(sputters)....beloved Tinkly....the most beautiful dog in the whole world! - that changed everything!
(He is truly affected, wipes his eyes, then turns vicious)
All bets are off! You are in for a fight now, sister.....and I can tell you....you ain't seen nothing yet!
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back, smiles)
And maybe, just maybe, when I get elected......I'll figure out a way to hang you!
(He exits, laughing. End of scene)
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
1 comment:
Oh my gosh...lol!
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