Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #917 Flopping Fish (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 17, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #917 by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 17,  2016

Caregivers Anonymous is-
-the recipient of a San Diego Foundation Creative Catalyst Program Fellowship grant 
-sponsored by Playwrights Project and 
-has a website now -

For other monologues from Caregivers Anonymous, please see Days # 268, 270, 271, 273, 284, 285, 286, 314, 317, 380, 412, 444, 454, 455, 456, 473, 474, 475, 476, 483, 484, 513, 514, 566, 569, 666, 692, 702, 714, 777, 778, 782, 783, 797, 802, 812, 813, 820, 869, 874, 881, 889, 903 and today's 917

                                                     Flopping Fish
                                      (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                               A monologue by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2016 all rights reserved
        (The woman is older, and she stands, shaking a couple of pill bottles like musical instruments)

(Southern accent)  I got an idea for a new music group!  Auntie Mae and the Flopping Fish!  I could take a picture of me with my marachis.....

         (She shakes the bottles wildly)  

And all I'd have to do is put sugar pills into my Nathan's vicodin bottle, and BINGO!  He'd be floppin around just like a fish!  What a sight!  You think we could win that big prize on that Who's Got Talent' show?  

           (The others shout their yesses and she smiles)

You might wanna know where I got this magnificent idea....well, after two years of bein' in pain, the doctor finally convinced my baby to have that knee operation.....and Nathan...he said the pain was worse than when he was shot during Korea!  But would he take the pain pills?  NO!!!!!

          (The others laugh and shake their heads)

Of course not!  He would be in AGONY and he would be floppin' around like a fish, and finally I would remind him the doctor said to take the pills every four hours, not to wait until it hurt, but NO....he had to wait because that's what a MAN does!

So one day when I was takin' a picture of him floppin' around....he looked at me and says.....(deep voice)  Woman.....what you complainin' about?  One day, I won't be floppin' no more, and then you'll just hafta worry about me not smellin' like a fish!  So leave me be and I will take the damn pills when I want!

        (She looks around)

So....somethin' in how he said it....I a the reasons I love that man is because he may be full of bull-oney!.....but he is strong as a bull.....and he does not give up....evah......just like he didn't give up when he was tryin' to get me to marry him.....just like he sat with our baby girl when she was sick and the doctors said she was gonna die, and he told that doctor he wouldn't let her die.....and he sat with her two days without leavin' her side.....and she pulled through the pneumonia......

       (She waves a bottle)

.And I suppose one day I will come in.....and mine will be the story .... that he stopped floppin'....

        (She raises her ecstatic)

..But today ...... I thank the Lord is not that day!

        (The others nod and shake their heads in solidarity)

So join me in some music....I know you got pills in those pockets and purses!

        (They pull out the pill bottles and shake them wildly.  End of scene)


This will probably be near - or directly leading into -the scene involving ...'What Day is it Today?

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info. 

1 comment:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

Wonderful. True and touching.