Sunday, August 21, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #921 But Who's Counting? (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 21, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #921 But Who's Counting? (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 21,  2016 

Caregivers Anonymous is-
-the recipient of a San Diego Foundation Creative Catalyst Program Fellowship grant 
-sponsored by Playwrights Project and 
-has a website now -

For other monologues from Caregivers Anonymous, please see Days # 268, 270, 271, 273, 284, 285, 286, 314, 317, 380, 412, 444, 454, 455, 456, 473, 474, 475, 476, 483, 484, 513, 514, 566, 569, 666, 692, 702, 714, 777, 778, 782, 783, 797, 802, 812, 813, 820, 869, 874, 881, 889, 903 and today's 917

                             But Who's Counting?
                                                 by Janet S. Tiger 
                                          © 2016 all rights reserved

          (The woman and man who perform this must work together very well - like a machine.  They stand up from their respective chairs holding ping pong paddles, pretending to have a game with an imaginary ball)

HIM  -   The reporter asked me if I'd ever taken care of anyone.....and I said.....only about 50,000 hours!

         (He swats the paddle viciously, she jumps as if to catch the ball)

HER-  If you count both parents, make that a hundred thousand hours!

         (She hits it back)

HER - But what about the number of dishes washed!

         (He pretends to miss it)

HIM -  That depends on how many people are eating - and how many are on feeding tubes!

         (He 'hits' another ball)

HER -  Four adults......

          (She swats at it)

HIM - (Very fast - as the ball goes back and forth rapidly now)  That's ten dishes a day per person times 4...

HER -  Forty a day!

HIM -  Not counting guests!

HER -  Or eating out!

HIM - Forty times a week is 280!

HER - (Louder)  Times 52!

HIM -  14,562!

HER -  Wrong!  It's 14,560!

HIM -  But who's counting?

HER -  I AM!  There's a million dishes and glasses

HIM -  And let's not forget the forks and spoons.....

HER -  And knives!


         (They pause, exhausted)

HIM -  What about the pills?

HER - And the doctor appointments?

HIM -  What about......the days you have left together......

HER -  Every minute.....

HIM -- Every second.......

TOGETHER -  But.....

THE WHOLE GROUP joins in -  ......who's counting?

        (The man and woman sit down and the others applaud.  Lights down)


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.