Monologue Mania: August 2016

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #931 I Can Wait (c) Aug. 31, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 - today! *********
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 920!

Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #931 I Can Wait (c) Aug. 31, 2016

I Can Wait
(for the as yet untitled play )

by Janet S. Tiger
© 2016 all rights reserved
Tigerteam1@gmail.com

(This is a nice looking young man, in work clothes, but not yet dirty. This is Ireland, in the 1970s, and he is speaking to MOIRA, attractive, in her 30s, the woman he works for...for now)

SEAN - Well, I thank you, Mrs. McKinley, you made a fine birthday breakfast for my 18th......

MOIRA - You bein' 18, I think you have earned the right to call me....Moira....

SEAN - Well, I thank you, (says it with pleasure) Moira, you made a fine birthday breakfast for my 18th.......only, it's missing one thing.......

MOIRA - (Annoyed) What do you mean, Sean, I made all your favorites! I made you the bacon, and the oatmeal with raisins, and even the scone with the butter I made myself!

SEAN - And I thank you for them all, they were delicious.....

(He rubs his stomach and she nods)

MOIRA- Seeing as you ate it all, I suppose that's enough thanks.....

SEAN - And I thank you for all you've done for me, all these years.....no one ever took care of me like you have....

MOIRA - So what's the complaint.....

SEAN - Have no complaint, just said one thing was missing.....and that thing.....is you.

MOIRA - (Pretends not to understand) What in God's good name are you going on about? I'm right here just like always.....

(She hustles around, cleaning up)

SEAN - You can pretend with others, but I know, and you know, too....

MOIRA - For such knowledgeable folk, I have no idea what you are talking about....

SEAN - I'm a man, now, 18, and I want to .....I want to be.....taking care of you....

MOIRA - (Still pretending) Well, of course you take care, Sean, you do a fine job with the horses, and the stables.....

SEAN - You pay me for that, and that's not what I mean.....a blind man could see what I feel for you, Moira.....

MOIRA - All right, Sean, that'll be enough fooling around. We have a lot of work to do today, the Donahues will be here for their mare, and we need to be picking up some hay...

SEAN - Why do you think we're doin' these things...Moira....where's Mr. McKinley?

MOIRA - (Embarrassed) I'm sure he'll be back very soon, and I don't think he'd like the way you're talking with me.....

(Sean walks over and stops her from any more cleaning up, then steps back)

SEAN - He's never here to help because he's always....somewhere else......and I think you deserve better, you do.

MOIRA - Well, wherever he is, he's still my husband, the father of those three girls you'll be driving to school in a few minutes, and that is all there is......

SEAN - You feel the same way I feel for you....I know, I can tell......and maybe I'm a bit young....

MOIRA - (Laughs) Young? You're exactly half my age! I'll be 36 next month, my boy!

SEAN - Enough time for a divorce......and to plan a marriage.....

MOIRA - Did you drink too much ale last night? You must be daft!

SEAN - No ale last night, and I'm not daft, I'm in love with you, and I have been since I first laid eyes on you.....

MOIRA - Which was when you were 12 years old! When the police dropped you off here, drunk off your arse!

SEAN - (laughs, remembering) And no place to go.....not home .....but home I came when I came here.......I don't remember that night, just the next morning, when I woke up and you were lookin' at me, and you had a plate of those scones, and I loved you......

MOIRA - I think you loved the scones, and anyone who brought them!

SEAN - You can laugh all you want, but when I know what I want, I get it. I can wait, and I get it.

First time I saw a horse, I knew I wanted one. My father only cared for his pub, never owned a horse, but when I saw one, I knew I would have one....took me 10 years, but that came true.....and you will, too.....

MOIRA - Daft you were, and daft you are now! I'm a married woman! And I have three children - and a husband who's still alive! And you have ...what? A job on my farm? Do ya think I'd throw my husband out and....do what? Marry you? And let's say.....and this is completely impossible, that I loved you.....

(The words hang there and she looks away, almost blushing)

MOIRA - Which I don't but, even if I did, in 10 years, I'll be almost 50.....and you'll still be a boy!

SEAN - I'll not be a boy, I'll be a 28 year old man, and you'll still be beautiful, and I won't be half your age, I'll be catching up! I'll be 28/38 of your age...much closer, don't you think? And when I'm a million, you'll only be a million and 18, that's 99.999 per cent! No difference!

MOIRA- Always with the numbers

SEAN - You're the one that brought up numbers!

MOIRA - And I'm the one who's been brought up to know what they mean! And this means that ....the subject is closed! I will not hear any more of such silly talk! And that's all...

(She is a bit confused and tries to get by him, he stops her and looks her in the eye)

SEAN - That's all right, Mrs. M....Moira......I can wait.....

(He gives her a kiss on the forehead and turns to leave, while she stands there speechless, he turns back, smiling)

SEAN - I can wait......

(Lights down as he exits, end of scene)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #930 I Am a Washing Machine (revised)(c) Aug. 30, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #930 I Am a Washing Machine (revised)(c) Aug. 30, 2016

Originally posted Apr. 21, 2014 Day #68

                  I Am a Washing Machine

                                  (with apologies to Christopher Isherwood)

                                                by Janet S. Tiger
                                             © 2014 all rights reserved
                                                Tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (A person walks onstage. They can be dressed to fit this role, or in street clothing. Male or female is not important, nor is age, because this is not really a person….this is... something else all together. In fact, with imagination, this can be a wild visual. Have fun. The person looks at the audience, stands tall.)

I .....am a washing machine.

You look surprised.

Not because you do not know what a washing machine is, but just surprised to hear one speak.

You look at us every week, possibly daily, not realizing that underneath the metal and wires and water running through......is a heart and mind and …..soul.   And even a sense of humor – don’t believe me? Where do you think all those socks disappear to? Don’t think that‘s funny? Well we do! We find that hilarious – how you all talk about it, get irritated about it, even scream sometimes! It brings us all hours of laughter when we are alone….

            (Listens)

Oh, you thought I was a ….(says this with derision)……house machine. No, I was not built in the factory to be cleaning just one family's dirties…..no, I am a washing machine ....for the people! I am in what you call a……Laundromat, a self-service laundry, launderette, washeteria, or even Zìzhù xǐyī fang. That one is Chinese for Laundromat!

Whatever you want to call me, I clean it all…I see it all…..I…(very dark) .....know it all!

That’s right, a washing machine has an ….intimate view of all humanity.

In a private home, those of us relegated to lives of unrelieved repetitious boredom are subjected to the same people’s wash…..day in, and day out. One person, two, three, four…babies sometimes….maybe with luck the residence is sold and someone new is introduced. But that newness wears off quickly, to return to the pushing and pulling and clothing of the same old people……worse than being married, it is as if you are married AND chained to the floor.

            (Puffs up like a peacock)

But I and my kin are..... special. In the course of our long and industrious lives, we clean clothing from not dozens, not hundreds, but thousands of people! Maybe tens of thousands, or even if we are truly lucky- and live in a busy city ......hundreds of thousands!..... depending upon how long we live for, how often we can be repaired, how many times people kick us, and damage us, and how soon we are ….(saddens) retired from service…..for …how do you people put it……for transplants……(disgusted) …..parts. Relegated to cemeteries for us….the junk heap….or worse, what is that word? Cremated?   Oh, yes, your word for it now…..(with horror)…recycled!

            (Shudders)

But we cannot worry about our futures, because our presents are such a present. Not that you appreciate us – we are ignored unless we break, and yet we know every little detail about you. (Laughs) I see some of you wiggling…yes, I know your secrets!

And why shouldn’t we? We get to clean all your privates…..your most intimate objects….your….(with glee) …..your underwear!

And, using our powers of deduction, we know everything about you….what you eat…no matter how much bleach or cleaner, the stains tell that story! …..….and how much you eat!...the size of the clothing reveals that! Larger shirts, giant pants!

And what the fashions are, and which ones you like…..and…dare I say it? Everything that goes on….between those sheets!

We are very knowledgeable, we machines, and yet, unless we leak or make strange noises, we are to you …….invisible.

Doomed to lives of incredible immobility. Except for those of us small ones of lucky to be traveling in your vehicles to strange places around the country….which is, from what I hear, not the greatest because it’s not as if we get to leave and go look around these places! The rest of us are born to serve, created in great factories, our only movement through space happening at our births, when we are loaded into darkened machines and transported to the location where we will slave our entire lives.

            (Sighs deeply, bows head)

But ours is not to question why, ours is just to clean and dry……

Which brings us to why I am here, today, in front of you, a representative of millions of us….we beg you, we do not want much, just a kind word and a small thank you once in awhile…(gets angry) ..not a kick when our bones are old and tired, and something has broken and we don’t start!

And that is why I wrote this book…….some people ask how did I come to be a writer? To that I say…..in between loads, I have plenty of time to think….and someone left a book by a man named Christopher Isherwood….called I Am A Camera…….no, I did not read it….I prefer the TV….but I loved the title! I identified deeply with the idea! A perfect sound bite! And so …that’s how I wrote…….I Am A Washing Machine….(puffs up impressively) …and with the help of my cyber-publisher, everyone in the audience will be receiving a copy!

            (Waves his hands, then stops)

I believe this is where all of you shout and cheer and stamp your feet! Come on now, you’ve all seen TV shows before!

            (Encourages the audience to comply)

That wasn’t so bad, was it?

Now, when you leave, you will give the nice people your email, and I Am A Washing Machine will be sent to your computer, along with some lovely coupons for your local Laundromat.

Thank you all, you’ve been a lovely audience!

            (Turns to leave, hears something, looks back)

Did you think you were getting a printed copy? Are you kidding? What year do you think this is? 1962? Do you pay with coins or can you use your debit card? Join the modern age!

            (As exiting, we hear…)

Next they’ll be wanting to use washboards!

            (Exits, the end of this cycle)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Monday, August 29, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #929 Thank You (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 29, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #929 Thank You (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 29, 2016

This is to commemorate yesterday's Caregivers Focus Group, held at the Linda Vista Village Community Room. The first public event in the year of Caregivers Anonymous. CaregiversAnon.org

Thank You!

(The writer comes out - she is tired but very happy, yes, the writer is....... me)

A real group of caregivers. Amazing. All together for the first time - different ages, from 22 to 82! From New York to New Zealand.....and with a common thread, all had taken care. Of others.

And now, they came together to share. To share stories, to laugh together, to cry together...to find the common ground.

The group met at a community room, informal, with a pool outside and the sound of children playing, children with caregivers unable to come to a caregivers meeting because they were.....taking care.

Friends and neighbors, some who spoke, others who were quiet, one gentleman who watched from afar, who came over after everyone had left and told me that if he had been there, he would have cried the most.

So it begins. The year of Caregivers Anonymous. A play to shine a light on caregivers - what they do, how they feel.....how they survive in the midst of a lot of.....hard stuff.

This gift of a fellowship grant from The San Diego Foundation Creative Catalyst Program has been given to me with a great responsibility attached - to do the best job I can to succeed at illuminating a field that is often in shadow because the characters are too busy to tell their stories. So I have the job.....the joy....of doing it for them. For us. With their stories as my flashlights I start the journey.

The gift is helped by the producing arm of Playwrights Project, whose founder comes to this first meeting and brings her experience - and insightful questions - to the table.

The gift is also enabled by my family and friends, who have loved and supported me throughout the time leading up to this.

I look forward to this year, and thank the first caregivers - and all the others - for this amazing opportunity. Let the play begin!

(The writer waves to all - and goes off to think about the stories she heard, to be grateful for such gifts.....and to write the play!)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Sunday, August 28, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #928 The Un-graduate (revised) (c) Aug. 28, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #928 The Un-graduate (revised) (c) Aug. 28, 2016

Originally posted Day # 246   Oct. 16, 2014


  The Un-graduate

tigerteam1@gmail.com

             (A young man appears, dressed very casually, he is definitely happy and very stoned. Or is it very happy and definitely stoned?)

Hey, Dad, how's it going? I read that letter you sent me, whoa, heavy stuff. I mean, I know I smoked your whole stash, but I had to share with my friends, right? That's what you taught me, right? To share? That's why I think you're so cool, Dad, you always were trying to teach me the right way to do things......and now, I mean, I think you're right, we should be honest with each other.

You've been a great, Dad, and that is the truth. I mean, you've been paying for college since I graduated from high school, and that was like....(thinks, counts on his fingers) like, eight years ago. And I don't have a degree yet, and that, I think, could be my fault, because, you see, like I haven't been in school since that first semester. I mean, I haven't been enrolled because they kicked me out, and the classes I go to are just ....well, to hang out with friends.

             (He ducks as if something was thrown at him)

Whoa! Dad! Isn't that a little harsh? I mean, I am your son still, and even if I have some problems, we're still like, related, so,, it's not like you and Mom, and the divorce, I mean you can't divorce me, right? I'm still your son?

            (Listens, now not so happy)

Oh. I didn't realize you could cut off my allowance. I thought that was just for, like you know, doing bad things, like if I got arrested or something. Or hurt somebody. Not for a little thing like missing a few days of school, right?

            (Backs up from the screaming)

Okay, okay, I can hear you! Whoa! But I know education meant so much to you! I did! That's why I didn't tell you all the details, I figured, it might upset you a little, and I can see that I was right......I'm not so stupid, right? I figured that out all by myself!

            (Listens)

Move out? Now? Like, this minute? Like ....I don't have time to find another place? (Listens) Well, I guess if you look at it like that.....eight years is a bit of time , but this is not a great day to go looking, I mean, I don't have a job, so I don't have any money, and that kind of makes it hard to rent a place, you know?

            (Listens)

I guess you have a point, I could stay with friends, but your place is so much nicer, Dad. I mean, you have a lot of room, and a nice jacuzzi, and you even have a maid clean up our mess, and you always have good food. And without a job, I don't think I can afford a maid. (Brightens) But wait a minute, I have an idea......how about this.......

           (He reaches into his pocket and takes out a joint, offers it)

Here, it's my last one....(quickly) okay, maybe your last one........but I think you need it more....why don't we share it and then, you see if you feel the same way? Okay? We can mellow out together! It's a really beautiful day, we can soak in the hot tub together, right.....(thinks) soak and toke, I like that, maybe I should get a job as a poet!

           (He keeps the joint offered, then it is taken, and he smiles)

I knew you'd be reasonable, Dad, you always are about the important things!

            (He turns to exit, reaches into his pocket)

Hey, look what I found!

           (As he exits, lighting the newly found joint, we hear...)

Looks like it's gonna be a good day after all! Hey, Dad, did I ever tell you about that class where they kicked me out for smoking in class.....now that was epic!

           (He exits, smiling....forever in 'high' school.)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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