Friday, March 18, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #765 Too Much of a Good Thing by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 18, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #765 Too Much of a Good Thing by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 18,  2016 

    Too Much of a Good Thing is a mini-one-act written for a contest, with a prompt that includes the specific characters and a prop and line that needed to be in the script.  (They are - and I have them mentioned at the very end)  The piece posted yesterday and this one, were both written within one day -24 hours.

                      Too Much of a Good Thing
                                                    (Not)  A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                  © 2016 all rights reserved

Time – The present
Set – Library – nice home
Characters -  (Both with British accents)
            EDMUND (ED) – 60s, looks younger, British accent – upper class
            PETER – 40s, looks younger, British accent – not so upper class
(Library - it's night.  Edmund enters, very happy.  He is in his sixties, appears younger.           He walks over to a table where a decanter sits, and pours a glass of wine.  He lifts the glass in a toast)

ED – (Strong British accent)  To the good times!

             (He takes a small sip)

ED - And to the bad times - which are better!

             (He takes a large swig and is just finishing as PETER enters.  Peter is in his forties, but
looks younger.  He is surprised to see Edmund, but Edmund is ecstatic to see Peter, pours
a glass and offers it to him.)

ED - Petah! Petah! Petah!  Join me!  Now that was my best Bette Davis, no smile? 

              (Peter takes the drink and sips, almost reluctantly, Edmund looks at him and raises his

ED -  No, my dear boy, you look like you could use a stiff one!  Pun intended....

             (He goes to one of the bookshelves, removes a book and takes a bottle of whiskey, which
he now adds to the glass of wine.)

ED - Not the best combo, but it works.....I have a question for you, my love….it’s a
philosophical one, so  put on your thinking cap…..Can one desire too much of a good thing?  What say you?

(Peter drinks but does not answer)

ED -  (Sweet)  Darling, what seems to be the problem? 

              (Peter turns away)

ED -  That was a rhetorical question of course…..we both know that I am the problem, but first, I
want to share some good news…..I got the part! 

PETER -  (British accent but still difficult to be polite)  And that part is?

ED -  Not the part you like best!  But it’s a good one, and I even get to dance!

        (He tap dances throughout the following)

ED -  It’s a World War II extravaganza!  Most people have no idea that there was an entire spy
ring of entertainers that passed information using morse code in their tap dances!  Like this…..

         (He illustrates)

ED – Is the code for Hitler!  And this…..

          (Another set of steps)

ED – Means the Allies are landing soon!  Ooh, this is so exciting!  It was SUCH a busy
day….And I also wrote a new song!  Wanna hear?

PETER- Not really…

ED -  Great!  (To the tune of whatever works)

       ‘I’m filled with tears
        Because of all my peers…
        No one gives a damn
         Where I am
         And all my emails go to spam….

PETER-  Another hit…just like the Beatles…

ED -  (Happy)  Of course!  I was always told I look like Sir Paul McCartney…..

PETER -  (To himself) By the blind….

ED -  Was that a snide remark?  I hope so….better snide than ignored I always say….

         (Ed picks up his glass and pours again, this time, less friendly)

ED -  Or is it that you did not expect me here, when you were planning to clear all your things
out and leave me, after these years of bliss……is that why your nose is so out of joint……my dear Peter…..pun intended again…..

           (Peter is surprised by this)

PETER -  I don’t know where you got that idea….

ED -  From the computer, my friend……even I can hire persons who understand those
mechanical mysteries…..(thinking)  and that repairman was very nice-looking, so even
though his news to me was…..unpleasant… least I had a few pleasant memories after he left……

PETER -  (Furious, but trying to suppress it)  You had no right to break into my computer!

ED -  No right?  I believe everything in this house is mine, so …..I do have the right….to catch
your wrongs……Did you think I wouldn’t notice you were gone?  What did your note say – the one that you were going to give me….

(He opens a pocket and removes a paper, reads, Peter joins him)

ED -  “as our lives have grown apart, so have we, but I want you to know I will always care for
you…. Touching, very touching…..

PETER -  (Sputtering)  That’s… invasion of my privacy!

ED -  It certainly is……In this day and age of surveillance in every business and on every
street…why, as I recall, we even made a sex tape ourselves, once, when we were younger, and still gave a damn….why don’t you think of it as being possible that…..

          (Edmund goes to a display of fruits and vegetables in a bowl)

ED – (Quiet)  If I could figure out how to hire someone to hack your computer….I could also
hire someone else to put cameras all over my lovely abode…..

          (He holds up a carrot)

ED -  You never did like fruit, so I knew you wouldn’t dream of touching any of these….

         (He holds up a pepper, then an eggplant – then points to the side of the eggplant)

ED -  Well hidden I say…very impressive.  The young friends you bring back here are also very
impressive…..I especially like the red-haired fellow…..too bad you didn’t want to share…..I may be getting older, but I can always watch, can’t I?

          (Peter looks at the eggplant, then shakes his head and walks away, very shaky)

ED -  Pardon me if I don’t care that you are upset……or…. are you upset about something 
else…..yes, could it be possible you are upset …(very big)……..that I am….. still alive?

          (Peter is visibly wobbly now)

ED – Come now, you didn’t consider that if I got to watch you with your…little friends….in
cases not so little…..that I could also watch you adding something to my wine?  Something very difficult to detect….no flavor….the company I hired was stumped for a few days……but they figured it out…..very subtle poison……a small amount, not a problem, if however, taken every day by someone, like me!, after a few weeks…..dead.  Especially in combination with my other meds……an accident…..natural causes…..very smart…….

          (Edmund holds up a vial and Peter takes it, staring in horror)

ED -  But if taken in a higher dose, by accident, for example….and mixed with whiskey, for
example……it only takes…..a few minutes…..

PETER – (Stunned)  But you drank this too!

ED -  Of course I did…..but from a different glass….

           (He takes his glass and waves it at Peter, who is furious)

PETER -  What stops me from just killing you right now?

            (He lunges awkwardly at Edmund, who steps away as Peter falls, now unable to stand)

ED -  That’s what.  And the fact you do not have a gun…..

           (Peter tries to drag himself away, is getting weaker.)

ED -  Only a few moments left, my friend…..even though you were trying to kill
me, I still remember our earlier years as ones of friendship….and more……I will miss

(Peter gives one last attempt to rise and Ed takes his foot and pushes Peter back down.
            Edmund looks at Peter, nods, and then takes the eggplant to leave, stops, looks back)

ED -  But not that much…..

(He looks at Peter, then gets a blanket and covers him)

ED – Do you remember the question?  I suppose not……You seem …pre-occupied……Can one
desire too much of a good thing?  I guess one can…..that’s what makes it a good thing!
(He goes over to Peter’s body, touches his hair, much more gentle)

ED -  Silly boy….. If you had been smart…..if you had hacked into my computer, you would
have known all you had to do was wait a few months….. and this would all have been yours….. 

           (He drinks the entire vial and sits heavily as the lights dim.  Blackout.  The end)


Line to include -  Can one desire  too much of a good thing?
Prop - a carrot, or a carat or karat or caret - I chose carrot because it was almost the most difficult to include!

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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