Friday, March 11, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #758 Gone Bananas (For Two Sisters) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 11, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #758 Gone Bananas  (For Two Sisters) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 11,  2016 

             For other monologues from the play TWO SISTERS, please see Days # 467, 468, 486-8, 498-501, 517, 605, 690-1, 720

                              For Two Sisters
                                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                  © 2016 all rights reserved 
      (Woman in her fifties enters, shaking her head)
It's all about the bananas, isn't it?

I get to Daddy's and there are bananas everywhere!  On the table - a spotted one, starting to smell a the banana basket two greenish ones, and one that is almost acceptable, if one ate bananas - which you know I don't do.

Then there is the one in the fridge - rotting and blackened, hidden to make sure I do not find it, but I do, and - after donning plastic gloves - discard it - after carefully wrapping to make sure the SMELL does not escape.

This is, of course, time consuming, but you and Daddy do not ever consider MY time.  Which brings me to the other fruit!

As if the banana situation was not ENOUGH! I am faced with the unsavory task of ROUNDING up all the assorted fruit, which is to be found THROUGHOUT the apartment!

And don't tell me that Daddy loves fruit, I know he loves fruit!  His apartment - with your constant and unwavering shopping support - is a veritable fruit warehouse!

And don't start with your...(mimics) 'but bananas are good for you!' I read that email you sent - bananas are 'portable, inexpensive and delicious'  

What a bunch of fruit propaganda!    More accurate would be ....bananas are smelly, disgusting and DANGEROUS!  No matter how the Three Stooges do it - slipping on a banana peel is not funny!

So if you think I am going to let you get away with trying to make me like fruit?  Do you think having a million tangerines - all orange and smooth on the top side, but moldering on the bottom! - having a million of those smelly roundish things will make me DESIRE them more?  NO!  I have my quota of ONE tangerine a day, and that is MORE than enough.

If I want apple, I'll have it on something tasty - like a pizza!  With pine nuts and baked potatoes!  Just don't push me....and we'll get along  fine.....

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

(Very dark) But.....for the last need to.remember! .........NO BANANAS!

          (She exits to a world with no bananas)
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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