Monologue Mania: Monologue Mania Day # 689 Secrets of Our Selves by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 1, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                      first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 680!

Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
  How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day # 689 Secrets of Our Selves by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 1, 2016

Secrets of Our Selves

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(The writer comes onstage, holding an apple. why an apple? Because the writer always likes the actor to have a prop if at all possible. Why not an apple? You'll see -have patience. It's just the first day.)

As the writer of now almost 700 monologues, and because it's the first day of January, and since I am the author and I can do whatever I want......I thought I'd come onstage and tell a little bit about why I am doing this.

(Takes a bite of the apple)

To be honest, which is not an easy thing to do....I have no idea why I am doing this. Well, that's not completely true. When I started, it was in the midst of amazing turmoil. People I loved were very sick. In several cases, close to dead sick.

Other people I loved were going through incredibly not easy times in their lives and loves.

I was extremely busy taking care of lots of these people, and moving some of these people, and I was.....did I mention?...very busy.

I felt like I was starting to crack under the pressure....

(Takes another bite)

So I decided to go for some therapy, and found a wonderful therapist who listened to me and spoke very little.

One day, after a few sessions, she asked me what I did for myself.

I walk in the morning......

She said that's for your health.......what else?

I come to see you.

One hour every two weeks is not enough, she spoke, and the words hung like apples in the air....

(Holds the half eaten apple up)

Well, maybe having a half-eaten apple isn't the best prop.

(Tosses the apple offstage - or, if afraid of hitting someone, puts it in a pocket)

Anyhow, I realized that she was right.....and that the time had come to right this .....so I started to write this.....I mean on the computer.......five minutes of writing every day.

It was not easy, this discipline. I have always been conflicted about writing - it was something I have done since I was a child.....I wrote my first poem very young .....'old man river .....loves chopped liver'

Hmm, maybe I should bring a chopped liver sandwich onstage......maybe a little messy....

Back to writing.....I wrote my first mystery novel at age ten....or eleven.....I didn't put a date on it....it was typed on a typewriter in the basement where my father had his workshop...before we moved, before my parents divorced......when I still felt talking to the characters in my head made me crazy....a secret that I did not share....yet somehow everyone knew.

Due to some horrible teachers, I did not want to reveal myself as a writer.....but the stress of hiding who I was was too much, so.....in my twenty-third year, after the death of my dear grandmother....I came out....as a writer.

Perhaps the hiding has made it easier for me to accept others who have to hide.....people who are gay, people with histories they are afraid to share for whatever reason.......

Yet even though I told the world I was a writer, I struggled with the crown of creativity.

It took having life hit me - with all its tsunamis of good and bad - babies born and raised....friends made and lost,....family going through joys and pain - to make me come to something very profound.

Wait for it....here it is.....maybe that's why I like the apple analogy.....the tree of knowledge reference....on some day in my writing that five minutes a day......I realized......that I...yes, it's true, I ....really, truly....like to write. I enjoy it.....yes, I love it. Unlike relationships that rise and fall....it is a deep ...no, the better word is....integral....it is an integral part of ......who I am.

Like a novel with the protagonist suddenly aware of deep feelings the audience has known since day one.....this revelation was stunning.

And I decided to act on it.

The therapist was leaving, going to another location that I could not afford......and so I decided to do something I had only thought of fleetingly over the years. To write a monologue a day for a whole year.

I had a lot of back up - dozens of monologues I could use in case inspiration failed me. Could I do it? No mystery really, because if you are reading this you know I have passed the year point and am almost finished with two years, but the question is ......why did I start on the day I started? For those there since the beginning, it is in my opening notes on Day # 1 which was titled Naked on Stage, because that is the way I always feel when I write.

Naked in my soul. Able to reveal things that perhaps I never could without the thousands...maybe millions....of characters I have in my mind and heart.

Because I started on the 35th anniversary of my grandmother's death. I have always felt she is with me, protecting me, guiding me, giving me dreams of hope when I need them. Like the recurring dream of being in an airport, with so many planes taking off. Which one do I take?

And my dear grandmother says, 'Follow your heart'

And now I realize that is just what I have been doing every day when I write these monologues.

I love the input and comments and criticism and praise....but the truth is....I would write them if I was the only person on this planet......

(Turns to leave, stops, looks back....raises hands in revelation)

Only person on earth....Naked on Stage! I got it! Now I know why I wanted the apple!

(Exits running and laughing to begin a new year with more monologues. Thank you all for reading and listening and correcting and making suggestions and appreciating and helping me through these amazing times. Now go have an apple to start a healthy new year!)

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for Linda - a truly wonderful therapist - with many thanks for much help!
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8