Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 714 New Inventions (for Caregivers Anonymous)by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 26, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day # 714 New Inventions (for Caregivers Anonymous)by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 26, 2016 

For other monologues from Caregivers Anonymous, please see Days # 268, 270, 271, 273, 284, 285, 286, 314, 317, 380, 412, 444, 454, 455, 456, 473, 474, 475, 476, 483, 484, 513, 514, 566, 569, 666, 692, 702  and today's 714

                         New Inventions(c)
                                                (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                                    by Janet S. Tiger  © all rights reserved                                                                                    tigerteam1@gmail.com

          (Rolling out a wheelchair that is covered by a blanket, the actor is greeted by applause)

Thank you, my friends, for letting me test out my latest inventions before I take them to the Shark Tank!

          (Whirls the device around proudly)

Here it is!  The very first, the one, the only and the very original, motorized, wheelchair porta-potty!

           (Removes the blanket to reveal a porta-potty attached to a wheelchair.  The group cheers)

With this amazing device, you never again have to worry about the dreaded.....accident!

No need for Depends, no need for underwear at all!  Just use the handy throw-away wraps you love from your hospital visits!

           (Illustrates by waving one of the cover-ups like a cape)

Sit yourself or the person you love on the seat -  it could even be heated in future versions! - and when they have to go, just go!  No rushing to get to a toilet that is dirty and difficult to use!

No waiting at busy bathrooms!  No clean-ups!  When the going is gone, a detector in the seat releases paper to neautralize and absorb what we politely refer to as.....waste materials.  But I always say....waste not, want not!  The special recyclable bag in the chair can be tied up and will degrade perfectly into...... quality fertilizer!

         (Holds up a bag with printing)

Yes, folks - from Potty to Plant!   Great daisies from great hineys!

         (The others groan)

And then, to finish..... a blast of scented or unscented, biodegradable Febreze into the holder - no muss, no fuss.....and best of all - NO ODURE!  No leftover stuffed-toilet scent to follow you around as you shop or eat out......you'll come up smelling like a daisy before anyone is pushing up daisies.......So, Sharks, whaddaya think?  Who's gonna be the first smarty-pants to jump on the wagon   - for a great new idea.......introducing.........the wheel-a-potty!?

         (The group cheers, but the presenter waves hands)

But wait, there's more!  Here's a few things you can do with the items you will no longer need when your excruciating trips to the store become exciting adventures again....

          (Takes out some items)

Remember these?  When there's no available handicapped potty?  How you used to need this....

           (Holds up the extender - see one look here)

and this?

           (Holds up a portable handle - to see one look here) ...so that your loved one could sit comfortably and then stand up without you pulling out your back?

Well now you can turn these into fun items you can use.....every day!

          (Turns the potty extender around and it's a bright color)

Everyone can use a new hat!  Just plop it on.....sorry I just had to use that word.....

           (Places on head)

And this becomes....a great new accessory!

           (Attaches the handle to the extender and leads self offstage as the others give a standing ovation to lights down.  Blackout.  End of scene)



Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

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