Monday, January 11, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 699 Senile Sisters by Janet S. Tiger Jan.11 , 2016

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Monologue Mania Day # 699  Senile Sisters by Janet S. Tiger Jan.11, 2016

                             The Senile Sisters
                                               (for the Senior Channel)
                                  (Not) a monologue by ©Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved Jan.11, 2016

        (Two sisters, both in their late sixties, come onstage, they are giggling and pointing.)

SISTER 1 -  I can't believe we're here again!

SISTER 2 -  Me neither!  Hi, there everyone in Senior Channel land!  And welcome to the latest episode of the Senile Sisters.....

SISTER 1 - At least we think it's the latest episode...maybe it's the first?  Who knows?  We don't!

S2 - But we do remember our motto, because we have it written on our sign...

          (Holds up a hand-lettered cardboard, they read it together)

S1/S2 - We forget everything - and more!

           (They giggle and throw the sign away)

S1 - So, sis, what are we going to talk about on this show?  Do you remember?

S2 -  Remember what?

S1 -  Ooh, tell them about when we had dinner together last night!

S2 -  Tell them what?

S1 -  When you were telling me something...

S2 - About what?

S1 -  I don't know, that was the problem - you didn't remember!

      (They laugh uproariously)

S2 -  And I spent 10 minutes trying to remember!

S1 - And we laughed so hard you had to go to the bathroom....

S2 -  That I remember....because it happens all the time!

S1 -  And you told me that...(giggles) the time you got back...I should remember what you hadn't told me!

S1 -  So, did you remember?

       (They laugh and say at the same time -)


       (They laugh again and S1 notices someone trying to get their attention, so she gets a hold of herself)

S1 - We do have a new part of the's called the Senile Sisters Sing Classics from the 70s, because that's when we were young.....

S2 -  Younger....

S1 -  And our brains hadn't filled up with unimportant stuff like......whatever is in there now....

S2 -  And I saw something on PBS about how our brains in the 20s are like super copying machines....especially for music!

S1 -  And you can never forget it!  It's like ear worms!

S2 -  So now we're going to sing one of our favorites......

      (They look at each other)

S1 - Which are our favorites?

S2-  It was something about an animal...

S1  - (Thinking, then very excited)  It was....a horse!  A horse with no name!

       (They start singing together, very badly)

S1/S2- (Unsure)

On the first part of the journey 
I was looking at all the........mmmm  
There were plants and birds and mmmm and mmmmm
There was sand and mmmm and mmmm
The first thing I mmmm
And the sky with mmmmmm 
The heat was hot and the ground was mmmm
But the air was full of mmmmm

S1/S2 -  (They get very excited, finally sure of some words)

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name!
It felt good to be out of the rain 
In the desert you can't remember your name 
Cause there ain't no one 4-2 give you no pain .......

(Very loud)  LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

S1 -  Wait a minute.....I think it's 'in the desert you CAN remember your name.....of course I could be wrong...

S2 - Of course you're wrong!  Why would you remember your name in the desert? You barely remember your name now!  

S1 -  I do remember my own name!

S2 -  But not mine!  You always call me your daughter's name!

S1 -  Don't try to distract me!  People who are watching want to sing along to the right words!

S2 -  No they don't.  They're only watching this channel for one reason - they can't find the remote or they don't know how to use the remote or the remote needs a new battery and they're too lazy to get up

S1 -  That's three reasons!

S2 - No it isn't - it's one reason per are so picky....

S1 -  You always have to be right!

S2 -  That's because you never are!

S1 - Never?  are you saying I've never been right?  Ever?

S2 - Well, maybe once or twice....but I can't remember!

S1 -  Of course you can't remember!

S2 -  Can you remember?  

S1 -  No...

        (They look at each and start giggling)

S1/S2 (Together)  REMEMBER WHAT?

S1 -  Thanks for joining us today!  We hope you had as much fun as we did....and if you didn't, don't worry, wait long enough and you won't remember either!

               (The sisters start to walk off, then turn back)

S1 - And if some of you watching are about to send complaining letters about our name.....

S2 - Go right ahead!  It don't matter to us!

S1 -  Ooh, that was a good song,(singing)  It don't matter to me.....if your hmmmmm brings you...ooh, we could do that song next time!

S2 - If we remember!

S1 - But before you write those annoying letters, you better know the difference between dementia and Alzheimers....

S2 - Which we do - because we watch KPBS and Dr. Oz!

S1 - He's so nice...maybe he can come on our show?

S2 -  If we remember, we can invite him!

S1 -  And before you complain about better have a combined total of over 16 years of taking care of people with dementia and Alzheimers....

S2 - Like we do!

         (They hold hands and raise them in a victory salute)

S2 -  So join us next time for more fun with ......


S1 -  And remember the time......because we don't!

S2 -  See you ...soon!  We think......we hope.....

         (As they walk offstage, giggling)

S1 -  So, did we have fun?  Do we remember having fun?

S2 -  Are your pants wet?

S1 -  (Thinks)  Oh, yeah...

S2 -  Then we had fun......

               (If they remember, they exit.....if not, stay tuned for more Senile Sisters!)

For my real sister….I am so glad I remember how much I love her - and how much we laugh!


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Oh, and as for new, ok, sometimes I rerun a piece from the first year - revised to be better!  Let it go....they're still free, and there's still hundreds to choose from!

1 comment:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

You can always make me smile. (What's with that song?)