Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 590!
Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #591 The Greatest Salesman by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 25, 2015
The Greatest Salesman
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger
© all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(He comes out and we know as soon as he is visible that
this is a presence,
this is.....a salesman. He is dressed perfectly and is magnetic, coming out into the crowd to shake hands. He gets back onto the stage and nods)
Great! You all look fantastic! How you feel and how you look is half the battle in the battle for sales!
You heard me, this is a battle! A war! And if you lose, you know it. No mommy to give you some trophy that you were (mocking) 'present at the event'.......no wimpy teacher telling the whole class that the important thing is to (imitating) 'do your best!'
So I am here to help you win....I am going to give you the secret that my father, the greatest salesman I ever knew, told me when I started out as a salesman of newspapers when I was just a kid!
He told me something I never forgot, something I still use every day, because it is just as true today as it has been since the beginning of time.....you have to.....listen closely! You have to.....
(He leans over and whispers loudly)
You have to......sell....the....lie!
(Takes a deep breath) Boy, I always feel like I'm sharing the wisdom of the ages, maybe because I am! Now I look out and I see faces just like mine, faces with a thought.....what the hell is he talking about? I understand lying, and I'm not supposed to lie, because if I do, then the customer can return and get their money back!
Part of being a good salesman is knowing how to listen - I said....SELL THE LIE!
And the beauty of it is.......this works for anything you are going to sell!
Cars and diamonds, chocolate and furniture, office supplies and underwear....you name it, and if you SELL THE LIE, you will be wealthy men within a few years, maybe even months if you sell it well!
(Cups his hand to his ear)
No! Not lie! Sell the lie! What is the lie? The lie is what everyone wants to hear! That the new car, the beautiful ring, the lamp for the living room, the blender for the kitchen , that purchasing what you are selling is going to make them.....HAPPY!
That's right, it's simple.....no matter how miserable their little lives are, no matter what horrors they have endured, or that they dwell in the land of crap warmed over.....if they buy whatever it is you're offering.....they will be happy! Maybe not forever, but who cares about forever in a world of here and now! Be happy now! That rush they get when they show the diamond ring off to all their girlfriends, the look in the other guys faces when they see all the new gadgets on the dashboard! That is what you're selling! You are selling.....Happy!
Now go out there and sell, sell....SELL!
(Turns to leave, hears something, stops, looks back)
Why is it a lie? (Smiles) Because nothing you can buy makes you happy - it doesn't work like that - only the inside of you can make you really happy! But that is why.....we sell....the lie......because when they buy...we're happy!
(He bounces offstage to another sale....never the end in the search for happy)
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For those interested - below is a second version of The Greatest Salesman, not much difference, just a bit longer - I'd be very interested to hear which one you prefer - many thanks!
The Greatest Salesman
(expanded version 2)
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger
© all rights
reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(He comes
out and we know as soon as he is visible that
this is a presence,
this
is.....a salesman. He is dressed perfectly and is magnetic, coming out
into the crowd to shake hands. He gets back onto the stage and nods)
Great! You all look fantastic! How you feel and how you look is
half the battle in the battle for sales!
You heard me, this is a battle! A war! And if you lose, you know
it. No mommy to give you some trophy that you were (mocking)
'present at the event'.......no wimpy teacher telling the whole class that the
important thing is to (imitating) 'do your best!'
So I am here to help you win....I am going to give you the secret that my
father, the greatest salesman I ever knew, told me when I started out as a
salesman of newspapers when I was just a kid!
He told me something I never forgot, something I still use every day,
because it is just as true today as it has been since the beginning of
time.....you have to.....listen closely! You have to.....
(He leans over
and whispers loudly)
You have to......sell....the....lie!
(Takes a deep breath) Boy, I always feel like I'm sharing the wisdom
of the ages, maybe because I am! Now I look out and I see faces just like
mine, faces with a thought.....what the hell is he talking about? I
understand lying, and I'm not supposed to lie, because if I do, then the
customer can return and get their money back!
Part of being a good salesman is knowing how to listen - I said....SELL THE
LIE!
And the beauty of it is.......this works for anything you are going to sell!
Cars and diamonds, chocolate and furniture, office supplies and
underwear....you name it, and if you SELL THE LIE, you will be wealthy men
within a few years, maybe even months if you sell it well!
(Cups his hand to his ear)
No! Not lie!
Sell the
lie! What is the lie? The lie is what everyone wants to hear!
That the new car, the beautiful ring, the lamp for the living room, the blender
for the kitchen - that purchasing what you are selling is going to make them.....HAPPY!
That's right, like most great ideas…. it's simple.....no matter how
miserable their little lives are, no matter what horrors they have endured, or
that they dwell in the land of crap warmed over.....if they buy whatever it is
you're offering.....they will be happy! Maybe not forever, but who cares
about forever in a world of here and now! Be happy now! That rush
they get when they show the diamond ring off to all their girlfriends, the look
in the other guys faces when they see all the new gadgets on the dashboard!
(He hears a question, nods)
Of course, the big sale gives a big happy……but ALL sales are for the happy…..if
you buy that lamp it will make your home nicer and brighter….and you will be
HAPPY you don’t have to squint when you read your romance novels!
That’s what my Dad taught me…why get the 10 cent newspaper?
Because it makes you smarter to know stuff….and
you get respect and that makes you….let’s hear it….HAPPY!
And that’s how I sold more newspapers than
all the other guys!
Happy!
That is what you're selling!
You are selling.....Happy!
Now go out there and sell, sell....SELL!
(Turns to leave, hears
something, stops, looks back)
Why is it a lie? (Smiles) Because nothing you can buy makes you
happy - it doesn't work like that - only the inside of you can make you really
happy! But that is why.....we sell....the lie......because when they
buy...we're happy!
(He bounces offstage to another
sale....never the end in the search for happy)
--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
