Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Monologue Mania Day #307 by Janet S. Tiger Gettin' It On (Two) Dec. 16, 2014

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Monologue Mania Day #307 by Janet S. Tiger   Gettin' It On (Two) Dec. 16, 2014 
(For actors who prefer a shorter version, please see Day # 306)

                                               Gettin' It On  (Two)    
                                       ©Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved
         (This monologue is specially designed for actors who are auditioning for very physical roles.  Several props will help - a chair and a pair....of socks.  A person crawls onstage, maybe a diaper over the clothing.... age to start -  about age two, three years old....carrying the pair of socks in their teeth.  Enthralled with the socks, playing with them as only little ones can do.)

(Smiling and laughing) Ooooh!  EEEEEE!

         (Now the attempt to put the socks on - it is not easy, and although funny at first, it gets a bit frustrating, until.....)


         (The person crawls off, crying)

Mommy!  Mommmy!  Need help!  Help!!!!

          (The person returns without the diaper, but in a bathrobe, older, racing around)

Mom, where'd you put my socks!  I'm gonna be late!


I did look in my drawer!  

         (Goes over to drawer, looks.....)

(Sheepish)  Thank you, Mom......

          (Races to get socks on - goes very fast.  Now looks around)

Mom, where'd you put my shoes!

          (Races out, comes back in a moment, depending on gender - putting on a tie or fixing hair - very fastidious)

(Adult)  I can't believe it......

          (Looks around room)

 Mom left everything just like when I moved out......I wonder ......

          (Looks in a drawer, smiles, lifts up a pair of socks)

....wonder if they still fit.....

          (Sits easily on the chair and puts on the socks carefully, efficiently, without a rush, almost reverently.)

They do......

          (Walks around room)

Now where did I put those shoes......

           (Walks out, taking a last look at the room, returning in a moment in a flurry, moving chair to another location, very flustered)

I am hurrying!  I just have to find a pair of clean socks!  

           (Looks in drawers, nothing, reaches under bed, pulls out socks, sniffs them, shakes head, puts them on hurriedly while leaving room.)

Hang on!  I'll be right there!  Don't worry, Black Friday will wait for us!  Oh, and put it on the list - need more socks!

           (Leaves stage, coming back very slowly, holding a pair of socks, sits down on a chair.  Takes a big breath and put one of the socks carefully on the back of the chair.

         Opens the top of the socks and try to lift their foot to the sock.  No luck.  Tries again, starting to get frustrated.  Tries other foot, no luck.  Bows head, shakes head.   

         Now holds sock in mouth, and tries using both hands to pull leg into position.  Almost falls off the chair.  Stops for a minute, this is hard work.

         Sits thinking, gets an idea.  Tries leaning all the way down to reach foot, almost has it, then falls slowly off of the chair.)

(Total frustration)   Waaaaaaa!

        (Now on the floor, shaking head.  Tries new angle, tries to sneak up on the sock, to surprise it   with the foot, just pushes it away when foot jerks a bit.

         Gets an idea.  Starts to do some yoga type stretches.  Grunting, groaning.  Tries to put on sock again, still no luck!

         Fury is setting in, and the person now goes crazy.)

(Screaming)  AAAAAAAH!

           (At this, the person becomes a flurry of activity - stretching, yelling, finally pulling the sock on to great success.  Falls back panting on the floor.

Slowly gets to feet, notices other sock)

(Laughing) Hoooooooooo!  Eeeeeeeh!

          (Looks at watch, nods, takes off sock by holding other foot on toe.  Bends over to pick up sock, can't do it, leaves it there.  The phone rings, the person answers, starts to walk off.)

Yes, I'm getting ready for bed......just another busy day......

      (Leaves stage.  Comes back in as a younger person, in black, trying not to cry.  Looks around the room, see the socks on the floor.  Takes off hat, nods sadly.  Bends to pick up the socks, looks at them, looks around, sniffs at them.)

They're clean......

      (Calls out, hand to mouth, loud)

We have a pair of socks that can be used!

      (Turns to leave, stops, looks back, nods and tips hat.  Exits, holding socks to be put on for the last time they will be worn......)


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

1 comment:

JennyRedbug said...

Fabulous fun. Makes me wish I was auditioning again!