Sunday, August 28, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #928 The Un-graduate (revised) (c) Aug. 28, 2016


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Monologue Mania Day #928  The Un-graduate (revised) (c) Aug. 28,  2016 

Originally posted  Day # 246   Oct. 16, 2014

                                                
                                            The Un-graduate
                         A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved 2014
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com


             (A young man appears, dressed very casually, he is definitely happy and very stoned.  Or is it very happy and definitely stoned?)

Hey, Dad, how's it going?  I read that letter you sent me, whoa, heavy stuff.  I mean, I know I smoked your whole stash, but I had to share with my friends, right?  That's what you taught me, right?  To share?  That's why I think you're so cool, Dad, you always were trying to teach me the right way to do things......and now, I mean, I think you're right, we should be honest with each other.

You've been a great, Dad, and that is the truth.  I mean, you've been paying for college since I graduated from high school, and that was like....(thinks, counts on his fingers) like, eight years ago.  And I don't have a degree yet, and that, I think, could be my fault, because, you see, like I haven't been in school since that first semester.  I mean, I haven't been enrolled because they kicked me out, and the classes I go to are just ....well, to hang out with friends.

             (He ducks as if something was thrown at him)

Whoa!  Dad!  Isn't that a little harsh?  I mean, I am your son still, and even if I have some problems, we're still like, related, so,, it's not like you and Mom, and the divorce, I mean you can't divorce me, right?  I'm still your son?

            (Listens, now not so happy)

Oh.  I didn't realize you could cut off my allowance.  I thought that was just for, like you know, doing bad things, like if I got arrested or something.  Or hurt somebody.    Not for a little thing like missing a few days of school, right?

            (Backs up from the screaming)

Okay, okay, I can hear you!  Whoa! But  I know education meant so much to you!  I did!  That's why I didn't tell you all the details, I figured, it might upset you a little, and I can see that I was right......I'm not so stupid, right?  I figured that out all by myself!

            (Listens)

Move out?  Now?  Like, this minute?  Like ....I don't have time to find another place?  (Listens)  Well, I guess if you look at it like that.....eight years is a bit of time , but this is not a great day to go looking, I mean, I don't have a job, so I don't have any money, and that kind of makes it hard to rent a place, you know?

            (Listens)

I guess you have a point, I could stay with friends, but your place is so much nicer, Dad.  I mean, you have a lot of room, and a nice jacuzzi, and you even have a maid clean up our mess, and you always have good food.  And without a job, I don't think I can afford a maid.  (Brightens)  But wait a minute, I have an idea......how about this.......

           (He reaches into his pocket and takes out a joint, offers it)

Here, it's my last one....(quickly)  okay, maybe your last one........but I think you need it more....why don't we share it and then, you see if you feel the same way?  Okay?  We can mellow out together!  It's a really beautiful day, we can soak in the hot tub together, right.....(thinks)  soak and toke, I like that, maybe I should get a job as a poet!

           (He keeps the joint offered, then it is taken, and he smiles)

I knew you'd be reasonable, Dad, you always are about the important things!

            (He turns to exit, reaches into his pocket)

Hey, look what I found!  

           (As he exits, lighting the newly found joint, we hear...)

Looks like it's gonna be a good day after all!  Hey, Dad, did I ever tell you about that class where they kicked me out for smoking in class.....now that was epic!

           (He exits, smiling....forever in 'high' school.)

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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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