- for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note - this was originally started in the middle of the night on (c) March 14, 2010 with a terrible sinus cold - unable to sleep, until I read the warning label....
Nobody Reads the Warning Label!
(for the Senior Channel)
(for the Senior Channel)
©Janet S. Tiger all rights
reserved
(A woman
comes out onstage. She's in a bathrobe,
looks tired, as if she has a bad cold)
I
have a code. You can probably hear id
im my voice. So I have to take these
medicines.
(Pulls a pill bottle out of
her pocket)
I am sharing this with the Senior Channel, because even though all those stupid commercials read all the warnings, in real life, nobody
reads the warning label.
(As
if listening to someone in the audience)
Because it's damn scary - that's why!
(Takes
out a magnifying glass - opens the label up - it is about three feet long.)
So,
while your eyes are dripping and your nose is running, you have to read
this. Hah!
The
first thing it says is “Read carefully”
“If
this print is too small to read, “
….then how would I see this?….”you can go online to see and print these
instructions.” Very helpful to those
sick in bed…..and as for (says it with disgust) 'going online!' .....I can barely turn on my computer when I am well!
(Reads) “Common
side effects – Constipation, dizziness, fatigue, headache, lightheadedness,
nausea.”
Great-
very similar to what I have now!
(Reads) “If you miss a dose of this medicine, take it
as soon as possible. If it is almost
time for your next dose, skip the missed dose”….I thought I missed it
already!….”and go back to your regular dosing schedule. Do not take 2 doses at once, unless your
doctor has instructed you to do so.”
Very clear!
“If
you combine this with the 17 other drugs you are using, you may have adverse
reactions when the drugs interact.
Really? What might happen, pray tell? (Reading)
Severe liver damage, possible dizziness, spots may be seen dancing in
your eyes, profuse sweating and possible diarrhea.” So the side effect of the nausea might cancel
out the diarrhea?
(Fast)
Do not take this medicine with meals, unless of course you have stomach upset,
in which case you should eat something with this, but not grapefruit, and
definitely not milk, which might cause your birth control medication to be
ineffective and result in unwanted pregnancy.
(Takes
a deep breath) And this is my favorite -
if you break out in a rash, develop hives or a large boil grows on your
forehead and it is filled with poisonous spiders, please discontinue use of
this product.
But
remember - take all of the medicine right down to the last drop.
(Shakes
head) Is it any wonder most of the
country is out sick today?
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)
Almost forget the
last…and most important - the final caveat -
(Reading) "If you die, please call your doctor
immediately"
(The
end - of the label, not the cold!)
------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
No comments:
Post a Comment