Friday, July 20, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1617 There's No Such Thing As Janet S. Tiger (c) July 21, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1617  There's No Such Thing As Janet S. Tiger (c) July 21, 2018

                   There's No Such Thing As A.......
                A monologue (from the play coming soon) by Janet S. Tiger (c)  2018   all rights reserved

         (People meet because of the free lunch.  But they learn the old adage - 'There's no such thing as a free lunch' is true for a reason!)

ANGIE - (In her 60s)  Free lunch.  All you have to do is listen.  To someone talk about  something, to sell something of course.  Because there IS no such thing as free lunch.  You pay with your time.  Just like the internet.  That pretends to be free, but you pay in minutes and hours and days and lives wasted.

What is it today?  A gourmet meal to discuss ways to retire financially secure - as long as you use their analyst/broker/advisor/helper/guide/planner/helper/expert/counsel/ - have I forgotten any of them?

Or is it the back pain seminar?  Some grim people there!  You can see with the grimaces on the faces as they sit or stand which of them is desperate for help!  

Wait - let's not forget the retirement pitch!  Not only do you get the required meal, but also included is a lovely tour of the premises!  Complete with visiting the inmates....I mean residents......

So why am I here?  I love free.  Free food, free wine, free trips to rooms if I play a little.......all free......all because I have a lot of free time, that Leon kicked the bucket.

We were married 40 years.  He left me comfortable  - enough so that I get at least two offers a week for free meals.  And I take them all.....because this is officially my new social life. 

My married friends invite me, but I'm the fifth wheel now.

And I don't want to reciprocate.  I want to be given a free meal- and not have to invite anyone over in return.

So that, my friends, is why I am here today.  I have met some wonderful new friends this way.  They watch the presentation, they accept or reject the premise, and we have our one daystand......and I never have to see them again!


I thought you looked familiar!  I forget faces, but I love unusual names!

(Happy)  Ooh, I don't think I've met anyone else twice at these events!  Do you want to sit together...
come this way, I saved a seat behind the only pillar so we can hide when they start talking!

       (Turns to walk off, stops, looks back)

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!  

       (Goes to sit down, shhh, the show is about to start)

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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