Saturday, April 28, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1534 Caregivers Exam -Part 127 - (For Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 29, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1534  Caregivers Exam -Part 127 - (For Caregivers Anonymous)  by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 29, 2018       

Warning - parental guidance advised - profanity

                            Caregivers Exam  (Part 127)

                                                         by Janet S. Tiger
                                                © 2018 all rights reserved

          (One of the people in the group now comes in with a 3-wheel walker)

Ladies and gentlemen, I now have the next part of the comprehensive Caregivers Exam - Part 127 to be exact, and the focus for this is......(whirls the walker around)...3-wheel rollators!

Now, you have all now been given some information on this vital machine!

Specifically, the smaller type.

The following test is vital to ASSESSING  your understanding of this VITALLY important device!  With emphasis on the ASS part.

Question 1 -  What is a rollator?  Why does it have such a silly name - especially because everyone calls them WALKERS 

Question 2-  What is a minature rollator?

Question 3- Who the fuck cares about the difference?

Please disregard the previous question as it was written by a severely problemed employee.

Question 4 -   Explain - in detail - the difference between the rollators exhibited on the previous 56 emails you received.  Please be specific, especially about folding mechanisms, ease of assembly (that's good laugh relief)  and how much junk you can fit in the basket.  Illustrate with photos - this will get you a better grade

Question 5 -.  Write an essay about the rollators and why each one has a value - and how that value is completely unrelated to the price. (For extra credit, explain why getting an open box model does not mean someone made eh-eh in the seat and that is why it is cheaper - although, it also doesn't mean it doesn't

Question 6 - Draw a Venn diagram illustrating number 4.  Please do not ask what a Venn diagram is.  If you have to ask, you need to go back to school!

Now take this test and send the results IMMEDIATELY to the proctor -with emphasis on the PRCOTOLOGIST!

Congratulations!  You have finished this first phase of the exam on rollators.

       (Turns to go back to seat, stops, looks back)

And you wondered why you wasted all those years in school!

       (As the others cheer, lights down)


Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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