Sunday, April 15, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1521 A Taxing Day by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 16, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1521 A Taxing Day by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 16, 2018                                         
                              A Taxing Day
                                        by Janet S. Tiger
                                    © 2014 all rights reserved

          (The person races onstage, frantic, looks at watch, takes papers from pockets, from a bag, dumps on a table.  Looks at everything, gets even more frantic.)

Where did I put those receipts?  Do I even need them?  Oh, why didn't I go to my cousin the accountant, H and R Blockhead?  He only charges a million dollars to do taxes on the last day!

           (Pulls another paper from shirt pocket)

What does that shrink say I have to do?

           (Scanning, reading frantically)

It says.....'First, calm down'.....that makes a lot of sense!  Let me try that!

           (Starts to shake, continues reading)

'Then, take slow, deep breaths.....'

            (Breathes quickly, starts to hyperventilate, uses bag to breathe into)

'Go to a place that is quiet, pleasant, call this your....special place.....'

Where is that supposed to be?  A loony bin?

 What time is it?  Oh, my God, I only have one hour left and the post office will be closed!  And the website crashed.....what am I going to do?

I don't want to file another extension this year!  I promised myself I would be on time!

            (Looks at watch, at calendar, starts to tear out hair)

Why do I wait until the last minute every year?  I swear, I will never do this again!

            (Looks at the phone......starts to relax)

Oh, my God!  this year, today is Sunday!  The taxes don't have to be mailed until tomorrow!

            (Relaxes completely, sits on the floor, takes a deep breath)

Now that was relaxing!  I have a whole 24 hours to finish!  I feel like I just got a stay of execution! 

            (Gets up, turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I feel better now!  Ooh, I think I have time for a shower, and maybe there's a late movie......I have plenty of time....why was I so worried?

            (Exits, but there is still no end for taxes)

First posted Day # 419 A Taxing Day April 7, 2015 

For those worried - the deadline is actually Tuesday, April 17th, this year, due to Emancipation Day in Washington, DC For more info click here

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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