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first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 - today!
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Monologue Mania Day # 1401 How to Interpret a Lettter by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec.15 , 2017
a monologue by Janet S. Tiger (c) all rights reserved 2017
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(Actor enters - a letter in hand)
This, my friends, is a perfect example of a letter that needs interpreting - and I am going to be the person to do so!
It is a letter from the owners to the executives.....also known as management to employees - or more clearly...... the bosses to the help....
(Reading) "While we can't comment on market speculation, we do want to address the impact we know this is having on all of you......"
(Laughs) Which means.....We want to give you absolutely no useful information, but we want to appear human....
(Reads) "Uncertainty always breeds unease......" Which, of course, is not to be confused with familiarity breeds contempt....but definitely means if you don't know what the hell is going on, you are probably pooing in your panties.....
(Reads) In every way, our focus is on our businesses and on the welfare of all our colleagues." Which means - all we care about is the money, and we truly hope you don't kill yourself when you find out what's going on, as it could affect everything that matters to us....which is, of course, the money.
And now, for my favorite - (reads) "All of you have worked hard to build and nurture a remarkable company through your hard work, loyalty and creativity.....for this we are truly grateful......"
And that is obvious - it means......you have sweated and strained to get every nickel we gave you, and for that, we are truly grateful, because it made for us.....a whole shitload of nickels!"
(Takes letter, folds up)
And that, my dear friends, is how you interpret a letter.
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)
Oh, and yes, I was fired, too.
(Exits. The end of another company)
This, my friends, is a perfect example of a letter that needs interpreting - and I am going to be the person to do so!
It is a letter from the owners to the executives.....also known as management to employees - or more clearly...... the bosses to the help....
(Reading) "While we can't comment on market speculation, we do want to address the impact we know this is having on all of you......"
(Laughs) Which means.....We want to give you absolutely no useful information, but we want to appear human....
(Reads) "Uncertainty always breeds unease......" Which, of course, is not to be confused with familiarity breeds contempt....but definitely means if you don't know what the hell is going on, you are probably pooing in your panties.....
(Reads) In every way, our focus is on our businesses and on the welfare of all our colleagues." Which means - all we care about is the money, and we truly hope you don't kill yourself when you find out what's going on, as it could affect everything that matters to us....which is, of course, the money.
And now, for my favorite - (reads) "All of you have worked hard to build and nurture a remarkable company through your hard work, loyalty and creativity.....for this we are truly grateful......"
And that is obvious - it means......you have sweated and strained to get every nickel we gave you, and for that, we are truly grateful, because it made for us.....a whole shitload of nickels!"
(Takes letter, folds up)
And that, my dear friends, is how you interpret a letter.
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)
Oh, and yes, I was fired, too.
(Exits. The end of another company)
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
1 comment:
Perfect!
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