Today is Day # 1387! To look at the other 1386 titles - click here
first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 - today!
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Monologue Mania Day # 1388 Onion Power! by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 2, 2017
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Monologue Mania Day # 1388 Onion Power! by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 2, 2017
Onion Power!
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger (c) all rights reserved 2017
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(The actor comes out with a box of kleenex. The actor is dressed as an.....onion. Yes, an onion, as much as necessary to give the sensation that a real onion is about to speak)
Here....for those of you who react immediately, I brought these.....
(Holds up the kleenexes)
You shouldn't be crying yet, because my root tips are still intact, and I took a cold shower. But some people just are prejudiced against onions, and the whole point of my little talk here is to introduce you to the reality of onions, with the supreme goal of reducing said prejudice.
And yes, for those interested, I have studied the law, hence my speech patterns. However, due to an unfounded prejudice against produce receiving advanced degrees, I am not yet allowed to take the bar exam. This I hope will change after my lawsuit, but that's for another day.....today I am interested in challenging your prejudices.....yes, YOUR prejudices!
I see you looking around. You know who you are! I am a humble vegetable....allum cepa to be specific. Not an object for derision! Not to be denigrated and diminished by your nasty comments....oh, yes, I hear them even when you whisper! Your breath smells like....onions! Don't have onions, you'll be around other PEOPLE! As if everyone hates us! And then there's the snide awards - Orchids and ONIONS! With the onion awards going to the horrible designs!
Well, please remember......onions are living things! We are also here in almost all your foods - whether as onion salt, or chopped, sauteed or grilled.....we change something dull into something exciting! We are the savior of old meat and unappetizing salads! We are...ONION!
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)
So stop your sniveling!
(Exits to help a hamburger get tastier)
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
1 comment:
Hee-hee-hee...sniff sniff!
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