Sunday, August 6, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1270 Forgetful (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 6, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1270 Forgetful (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 6, 2017           

                                      Forgetful
                                     (for Caregivers Anonymous)                           (c)
                                                        
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved 
                                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com


       (Woman stands, she now goes to the wheelchair and looks at it, almost fondly)

My Mom is in a wheelchair now, and from what the doctors say, we're on the last lap.  And you all know what they means....

        (She nods at the group and they respond - they know)

It means that, you never know, but.....this could be it.

And it's funny, because my mom was mean to me my whole life.  My older brother, she loved him, and he was killed in Vietnam, so he became, like the God of the family!  And I was nothing.  I was the one who should have died.  Why did she deserve for me to live and not him?

I don't even know why I took care of her when she started to get....you know, forgetful is the term we used.  Alzheimers is the name now, but, we all know what that means, too.  Except for me, it's different.  Once she started to forget, it's like, she forgot to hate me, forgot to be mean.

But now, we go to the movies..... and we laugh and have fun.  And eat ice cream.  And look at pictures in the albums, and she tells me...(choking a bit).....tells me how beautiful I was as a baby, as a little girl. (Shakes head) First time ever.  Even when I won the beauty contest at the fair.......  And the other day, she said to me.....(deep breath)   Honey....she calls me honey because she forgot my name.....  Honey, you are such a wonderful daughter!  And I love you so much.....


           (Someone hands her a kleenex)

She never said that to me, not once when I was young.  I love you.  I tell my kids all the time - because she never told me.

(Sighs again, hard to say)   And here's the dilemma.  I pray.   No, praying is not the dilemma!  Praying is good for me...... Before my Daddy died, he taught me to pray, and I like to pray.  It makes me feel like in some tiny way..... I have control.

So..... I pray for my mother....but what do I pray for?  For her to get well?  So she can be mean to me again?  For her to die?  But if she dies, I'm gonna miss her, and a few years ago, I never coulda said that.

So tell me.....what do I do?

           (She goes to sit.  Lights down)
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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

2 comments:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

Beautiful and true. Sounds like my mom and grandmother. Mom said "she forgot she can't stand me."

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

Beautiful and true. Sounds like my mom and grandmother. Mom said "she forgot she can't stand me."