Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1070 Mixed Marriage by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 17, 2017


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Posted: 18 Jan 2017 01:05 AM PST
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Monologue Mania Day #1070 Mixed Marriage by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 17, 2017
                                  Mixed Marriage
                                   
                                       A one-act   by Janet S. Tiger 
                                      © all rights reserved
                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

        (Nice room - we see Neil - 60s, working at a desk in a beautiful room in a home where the owners are  art collectors with some of the pieces having a definite Jewish presence. A woman enters, this is LAURA and she is furious.  The rage she is feeling seems to be ready to blow the top of her head off but her husband doesn't notice  so she turns a glare on him and all of a sudden he seems to feel it.

NEIL -  Is everything okay?...... what did I do wrong now?

         (The wife does not respond she just is holding something that you very slowly brings over to him.)

NEIL -  Now I know you're upset about the Inauguration tomorrow but I'm not responsible for that so .... give me a clue?

LAURA -   Not responsible for the inauguration...now,  that's an interesting remark.
       I thought I knew you ...(sputters).....I thought after 43 years

NEIL -  Oy vey, when you tell the number of years, it's gotta be bad......

LAURA -  You married me under false pretenses.

NEIL -  This is gonna be a biggie.....

       (Laura starts waving around a paper, she is fuming, unable to speak.  Neil takes it from her and looks, then makes a funny noise)

LAURA -  If you took out the garbage......

NEIL -  Now we've got the garbage thing, too!

LAURA - How could you do this to me?  To us?  I thought I knew you, but I guess I didn't.....

NEIL -  It's not like I had an affair.....

LAURA -  It's worse!  You voted for.......(steaming)....I can't even say his name!

NEIL -  You can say his name, you've been cursing him for the last year.  Donald Trump....

LAURA -  It even sounds horrible!  How could you vote for him?  I mean, you're Jewish!  Jews do not vote for Republicans!You've been a Democrat your whole life!  I mean, we met at that rally for McGovern!  We worked to get Clinton elected!  How could you do this to me!  

          (She screams and he just watches her until she stops.  She stares at him, he is still quiet)

LAURA -  Is that all you have to say?

NEIL -  (Quiet) Why in God's name did you think I was not telling you this?  After forty.....some....years....I knew this is exactly how you'd react.....and I just want to say one thing - my vote does not make any difference in California...... so who cares who I voted for?

LAURA - It's the principle of the matter!  

NEIL -  If the principle is all that matters, what happened to the principle of the secret ballot?

LAURA -  You joined the Republican Party!

          (She waves the paper)

NEIL -  Okay, I made a donation.....

LAURA -  A donation?  Can it get any worse?  How could you not tell me something vitally important like this?

NEIL - If you look at how you're reacting you might have a tiny clue why I wouldn't want to tell you....

LAURA -  You betrayed me ....and worse......you betrayed my trust and the trust of all women in this country!

NEIL -  46% of the women in this country did not vote for you or Hillary and so I don't think you can speak for all of them........ but that really isn't the issue anymore with us...is it?
Do you listen to anything I say?  Are you interested in my real opinion or if you disagree with me I am automatically wrong?

LAURA -  But we always agreed on everything, especially politics!  Always!

NEIL -  No, we did not - you agreed, and I listened.

LAURA -  Our whole marriage...I thought, that,  well you know our entire marriage was based on truth and honesty?

NEIL -  (Getting annoyed)  No marriage is based on truth and honesty, and this is why.....Truth and honesty means that I should be able to have an opinion of my own!   I didn't want to vote for her and frankly I didn't want to vote for him but working with the people I work with for the last 8 years has not been easy.  The poorest always had medical - but the folks I counsel, their medical bills tripled.  And their jobs....gone...... and I did not feel comfortable voting for her because she's a continuation of that. I don't know if Trump will help, but I do know Obama had the UN censure Israel and for all the rhetoric, I hope Trump does better than that.

LAURA -  But the man has no political experience!  He is a monster!  Did you not hear the things he said about women?  

NEIL -  I did.  Not nice.  Also not nice is these videos were brought out when?  Big complaints when the FBI attacks Hillary before the election, but it's ok to bring up a video from what, ten years ago?  What if everything we said was recorded?  Would it sound so good in a few years? 

LAURA -  Is this over?  Are we finished?  I don't know if I can sleep in the same bed, the same house with a Jew who is....so prejudiced!  

NEIL -  Me prejudiced?  (Laughs)  When I meet with some of the other guys who voted for Trump...

LAURA -  There are more?

NEIL -  Yeah, we have to meet in secret!  And you know what we talk about?  The fact that no Jew talks about the fact that this is the first President of the United States who has Jewish children and grandchildren!  Horrifying!  A grandson who had a bris!  They keep kosher!  We don't keep kosher! They keep shomer Shabbos....we don't do that!  I mean, must we all agree on everything?  And if we don't, can't we just be civil about it?

You know, my grandmother was a Democrat till the day she died, and my grandfather was a Republican.  No fights, ever.  No political talk either.  They agreed to disagree.

LAURA -  You had other Republicans in your family!  NOW you tell me!  

NEIL -  And that's all you heard!  Amazing.  

LAURA -  A mixed marriage......you came from the child of a mixed marriage!  How far do these secrets go back?  (Realizing something)  Wait a minute, now WE'RE the mixed marriage!  How can we stay together after this?

NEIL -  (Stunned)  So this is it?   The marriage is over? (Getting very upset)  Well, if our marriage was predicated on always agreeing about every single thing - then you know what .....maybe it  was never so rock solid like you thought!    I mean we've been through other things .....the kids being born, teenagers, driving...marriages....a divorce.....miscarriages....life........don't you think we can get through this?

LAURA -  (Shaking her head)  How can we?  This is like the.....the foundation of our lives!

NEIL -  Political parties are the FOUNDATION of our lives?  (Laughs)  We've been through the obligatory therapy and that's an issue you're always complaining about - that I don't listen to you ...well,  think about it.   If I'd been able to talk to you ..... would I have hidden this from you?  T

           (She turns away, this is hard)

NEIL -  Which brings up another interesting question..... what else have we hidden from each other.....

LAURA -  (Horrified, thinking)  I know you didn't cheat on me....or gamble, or take drugs, or embezzle funds from the synagogue.....

NEIL -  Are you sure?

           (She gives him a look and he is sheepish)

NEIL -  Okay, I admit, those are not my secrets.....but, I have to say, well, sometimes when you ask me to take out the garbage, I just put my foot in there and squash it down.

LAURA -  I have news - that's no secret either.  (Sighs)  All right, I guess, maybe I'm not so perfect.

NEIL -  Really?  Are you ready to go onto confessions.com?

LAURA -  I know you prefer your food heated up on the stove, and sometimes....well, sometimes I put it.....into the microwave and then stir it up real good.....

NEIL -  You cheater you!  That's the two of us....bad to the bone!

          (He goes over and puts a hand on her shoulder, she looks at him, then at the paper again)

LAURA -  Wait a minute  - did you switch your party allegiance to .....oh my God not Republican!

NEIL - Well, in the interest of honesty.....I did switch my party allegiance.....

LAURA - Oh my God!!  I knew something was up when you didn't go to vote with me at the same time!  I don't care if Trump has Jewish family......  I don't think I can sleep with a Republican!

NEIL -  I changed to the Independent Party.....

LAURA -  Well, I guess that's not as bad.......

NEIL - Actually maybe you'd be interested in joining with me ......there's no conventions..... no meetings...no dues!  And there's only one thing we all agree upon.......

         (Lights dim)

LAURA -  And what would that be...?

NEIL -  We hate everyone!

LAURA -  (Laughs) Well,  maybe we could agree on that.....

         (Blackout.  The end of this disagreement....for this election.)
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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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