Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1063 Birthdays! by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 10, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

            first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!           *********                                                        
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
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Monologue Mania Day #1063 Birthdays! by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 10, 2017


                                       A monologue   by Janet S. Tiger 
                                      © all rights reserved

             (Older man enters, very annoyed, wiping face with napkin)


You heard me, I said.......FUCK BIRTHDAYS!  

Stop pretending like you never used that dirty word....everybody here has!  Birthday!  What a dirty word!  And if  you don't like it....well, screw you!  I am too old to be editing myself all the time!  And no, I did not have a happy birthday!

You know you're getting older when your friends say Happy Birthday - but they don't add that horrid line - AND MANY MORE!

Because, you really don't want many more.  Because even if your birthday is happy, one day out of year just ain't enough.

And if your friends are older, well, they know that day is often not the same happy it was when you were say, five, or fifteen, or....(smiles, remembering)  25!  Your birthday at best is....maybe, ok.

Maybe the relatives come and make a big fuss.  I stopped that a few years ago - too much energy!

Maybe some friends call, the ones who are still alive....the ones that still can dial the phone....the ones that still remember you!

But mostly, a birthday gets....sad.  Because you remember your other birthdays, who was there.  Who isn't there anymore.  And next year, will you be there at your own birthday!  

So, I want everyone to know.....next year, please don't remind me....because I'll say the same thing - FUCK BIRTHDAYS!

          (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

But you better cut me another piece of cake - and don't be so skimpy this time!  

          (Exits to start another year!)
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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