Friday, January 6, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1059 Real Troubles by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 6, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day #1059 Real Troubles by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 6, 2017

                                           Real Troubles
                                       A Monologue   by Janet S. Tiger 
                                      © all rights reserved
           (Actress enters, she is steamed and has her purse clutched tightly)

Go ahead all of you, laugh at me!  But you know I'm right!  I listen to you guys every day after work, over our lattes, and our hot chocolates and our semi-stale but warmed up muffins - I listen and it is worse than watching the news!  At least the news I can turn off!

But no......everyone has to rehash the election!  How long is this going to go on for - another four years until we vote again?  I mean, puh-leese!  All these political people live very far away from us, and you do not realize that right here, we all deal with- on a daily basis, mind you - REAL TROUBLES!   Like me for instance....I love to eat at Carl's Jr. and I always have a coupon.

And today, I was hungry, and I could smell that pumped out smoke from their grills and my mouth was watering, and I went into my purse and I looked for.....the coupons.  

        (She dumps the purse on the floor)

But, NOOOOOO!   There were no coupons!  

And I was hungry, very hungry, and I had not brought lunch today, because I was busy first thing in the morning getting two kids and my large husband kid OUT THE DOOR!

So this was my treat, my one dollar and seventy nine cent treat - plus tax of course, but you get the idea, and, suddenly....NO COUPONS!

Now that is REAL TROUBLE!

Because I bought a hamburger, and it almost tasted delicious, but the coupon issue was able to reduce my enjoyment.....and yes, IT GOT WORSE, because when I got back to my car and reached into my pocket for the keys....

       (She pulls out a paper and waves it)

COUPONS!  The coupon was BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE!  So I lost an entire hamburger!

And you talk about health care and possible wars and foreign countries hacking our see, some people have no idea that I just went through a MAJOR MORAL DEFEAT!

         (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And the worst part.....the coupons.....expired last week!  Will tragedy never end!

        (She exits to a world with never expiring coupons - and elections that go on forever!)


Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8