Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1084 For Archival Purposes Only by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 31, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

            first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!           *********                                                        
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                                              day, click here  There are now over 1050!
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #1084 For Archival Purposes Only by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 31, 2017

                            For Archival Purposes Only
                   by Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved
                                                  tigerteam1@gmail.com

                          (The actor enters.....but it's just the writer again)

Half a year, half a year, half a year onward!  

That's what this is - half a year into a grant, into a project that I live and breathe every day.  First time.  The dramaturg is a woman, a friend, who many years ago gave me excellent advice about writing.  I discussed with her I had always hated being told by teachers - (imitates with derision)  'write about what you know'.      

Well, she told me better advice would be to write about ....what I was passionate about.  Now that made sense.  I was young then.  When you are young you - just by the reality of years - you think you know everything, but in reality, you really don't know very much -which adults are very quick to remind you! -hence, less to write about.  But passion! Ahhhh!  Passion is your life when you are young.  Hormones rule - emotions rule! 

And then, the years do pass.  Pass is a big part of passion.  This too shall pass.  And this year has passed in a blur, but I will acknowledge, that I do like - in a strange, sado-masochistic way - the archival nature of this project.  Progress report is what it's called.

I am irritated by the extra work - at first.  Then something happens, as I re-live the last few months and find that there is a struggle in me to find the passion of youth, even though I know it is not the same, will never be the same.

For this play is about what I know - taking care of others.  And it is something I am passionate about because I have a belief the future will be more of this, not just for me, but for millions. Yet the energy of youth is not the same as the energy of 61.....

And I have had to face other realities as this past year made me watch some difficult events - a friend lose a spouse of 60 years - - another friend I love dearly sometimes does not remember who I am.... loved ones who struggle with illness......I realize that in another 30 years (if I am still around)...I will probably not have as much energy as I do today.

The archiving of our memories....of our lives, our dreams, it gives pause.  And I am grateful for all the gifts I have received.  The obvious ones - and the ones cloaked in the veils of sadness, loss, upset and worry.  

And unlike the organized souls who discard the hazy photos, the photos that are poorly composed, or splotched - or where someone closed their eyes (that would be me) - I save them all.  That's what archives are for - and I thank you all for listening to my daily tales....

            (I turn to leave, stop, look forward - because at this point, maybe it's time to stop looking back)
------------------------------------------
Two weeks before I finish year three of this daily blog - and start my fourth!  I think.  Never know.  That's the fun of....the theater.

---------------------------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
--------------------------------------------------------------

Monday, January 30, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1083 Chances Are Good (for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 30, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

            first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!           *********                                                        
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                                              day, click here  There are now over 1050!
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #1083 Chances Are Good (for the Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 30, 2017

                                  Chances Are Good
                   by Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved
                                                  tigerteam1@gmail.com

                                     
          (The actor enters with a handful of newspapers)

Okay, I admit, I'm old school......ok, I hated school, so maybe I'm just old, but I love these newspapers!  Look at them, interesting articles and every single one....true!  Why, if you read it in the newspaper, it must be!  My fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Sanchez, she told us, that reporters trained for years in how to research the truth, and then an editor checked over all the facts, and then it was put into typeface and a final proofreader took a look - so it was literally IMPOSSIBLE to have something that wasn't right in the paper!

And so I live by that today.  And no, I am not talking about the election, but about the statistics!

Here.....look at this... 

           (Holds up a paper)

Burnt toast is gives you cancer!  So it not only tastes crappy, it helps you die!  A 10% higher chance of dying!

Now get a hold a this....

           (Holds up another article)

Granola bars!  Eat these and your chance of dying from cancer....up 7.5 percent! But at least it's natural!  Just proves you don't have to be a smoker to be risky!

And here.....

            (He illustrates each of the following with a wave of a paper)

French fries!  Adds another 8% chance for cancer....
Hot dogs......bacon!......sausages.......7%, 12%......9%!

Artificial butter...POTATO CHIPS!

Microwave popcorn!  Red meat.....farmed salmon....sugar free soda!....And let's not forget.... Refined sugar...refined flour.....my mom used to want me not to wipe my mouth on my sleeve because it wasn't refined......who would know refined could be...CANCEROUS!

        (Now takes out a calculator)

And if you add up all the percentages......it comes to.....

         (Finishes with a flourish)

One hundred twenty-two per cent chance I will get cancer!

Wow!  

        (Thinks)

That's not a very cheery thought....

Wait a minute.....if it's absolutely sure I'm gonna get cancer, maybe, it doesn't matter if I have another hot dog.....and throw in some bacon, too.....with a Diet soda please......

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back, smiles)

Well done......

        (Exits to a world of better percentages)


------------------------------------------

The science behind this -
(burnt toast) https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/jan/27/how-burnt-toast-became-linked-to-cancer-acrylamide

(granola bars) https://www.organicconsumers.org/newsletter/organic-bytes-522-oca-sues-general-mills-owned-nature-valley/natural-carcinogen?gclid=Cj0KEQiA5bvEBRCM6vypnc7QgMkBEiQAUZftQBwxy5hpOd6kE1kZ0iHEB2Z9_JJ8WCaUwnjvJkB5ttgaAsK08P8HAQ

(a lot of these)http://mamavation.com/2015/01/10-cancer-causing-foods-in-your-diet.html
              

---------------------------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
--------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1082 I Hate Jews! (the monologue) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 28, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

            first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!           *********                                                        
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                                              day, click here  There are now over 1050!
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #1082 I Hate Jews!  (the monologue) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 29, 2017

           Yesterday's post was the play with two characters Day 1081
                             ©     I Hate Jews!
                          by Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

                                                       I HATE JEWS!  By Janet S. Tiger © Jan. 27, 2017
                                                Tigerteam1@gmail.com

(Young man enters, he is angry.  This is Bryan, and he looks at his father, sitting in an easy chair, reading.)

BRYAN-  I hate Jews!  Didja hear me, Dad?  I said that I hate Jews!
From the first day I remember you tellin' me stuff, I knew Jews were the enemy, and they were the worst, because the others didn't have money like the Jews, and the Jews used all their money to keep us down.

             (Listens, shakes head)

BRYAN -  What’s eatin' my ass now...you know that girl I been hangin' out with, Christie?

           (Clenches fists)

BRYAN -  Dad!  Don’t talk about her that way….that's my...my girl...and we’re kinda thinkin about getting’ married……(listens, annoyed) No, she’s not pregnant!  (Sighs) But, her father is big into family....before we get, you know married or have a baby...

           (He waves some papers, his father takes them)

BRYAN -  Christie, she saw this ad on TV.....(Breathes heavy)  She wanted to know who I was, what our family was.    So she sent some of my DNA in…and these, these are the results, Dad.....

        (He points to something on the pages)

BRYAN -  There, read that!  Eastern European ancestry...... do you know what that means?
(shakes his head sadly)  No, it doesn’t mean some of our ancestors were Pollacks.  Incredible!  Boy this harder than I thought.....when she saw that, she made me get tested for all these diseases, and you know what came up?

Tay Sachs….and no,  it’s not something to eat…. (Scornful) It's a disease....you idiot...

          (He gets smacked across the face, pulls back)

BRYAN -  It's a bad disease, kind of like it kills your baby.....
It's a disease  (reading)...primarily found ...in Ashkenazi Jews.....

         (Watches, nods)

BRYAN -  No punch?  No reaction at all?  Do you know what that means, Dad?  It's from the patrilineal side - that means you, Dad!  That's means... there's a Jew in the woodpile!

         (The papers are ripped from his hands, fall on the floor.)

BRYAN -  That's really smart, I guess the Polish part landed in you, right?

         (He almost gets smacked but this time he ducks)

BRYAN -  It's just a copy, we have the originals.....did you know?  Or did you suspect that all along because you love money so much!

           (He listens, is amazed)

BRYAN -  Wow!  So it’s true…..and you always knew…You can’t turn away now, you hafta listen…..unless I was adopted, I’m part Jew…..how can I hate, part of me……

              (Puts the papers away, stands, then turns to the audience))

BRYAN -  And then my Dad hugged me, and we had a beer together……
              And that’s exactly how it went…..in my brain….the truth is, my father beat the crap    
outta me – I still have a scar here…..

            (Points to his temple)

BRYAN -  And I haven’t seen my father in four years…..and I broke up with Christie, because she didn’t wanna marry a Jew, let alone one with a marker for a disease!  And my brothers and sisters don’t talk to me….and I don’t get it, I mean, they have Jewish blood, too?  Right?

So here I am, rabbi, ready to learn….but first, just one question…..how do I stop hating….myself?

              (Blackout.  Not the end for prejudice)

---------------------------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
--------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1081 I Hate Jews! by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 28, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

            first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!           *********                                                        
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                                              day, click here  There are now over 1050!
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #1081 I Hate Jews! by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 28, 2017

                             ©     I Hate Jews!
                          by Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

  
(Young man enters, he is angry.  This is Bryan, and he looks at his father, sitting in an easy chair, reading.)

BRYAN-  I hate Jews!

         (The father looks up, shrugs and goes back to his paper)

BRYAN -  Didja hear me?  I said that I hate Jews!

FATHER- So?  I hate Jews, big deal.. I hate a lotta people, and I'm glad to see you do, too.  I stopped all that polical correctness shit in you kids, except for your brother, who decided he wanted to be a fairy, but you can't win 'em all. Five outta six winners, can't complain.

BRYAN -  From the first day I remember you tellin' me stuff, I knew Jews were the enemy, and they were the worst, because the others didn't have money like the Jews, and the Jews used all their money to keep us down.

FATHER -  Ok, you got it, what's eatin' your ass now...

BRYAN -  You know that girl I been hangin' out with, Christie?

FATHER -  The pretty one with the big tits.....?

BRYAN -  Dad!  That's my...my girl...

FATHER -  I know.  And if she had little tits she wouldn't be your girls, so I ask again, what's eatin' you?

BRYAN -  Her father is big into family....before we get, you know married or have a baby...

FATHER -  You better get married first, I don't want no bastards around here.....(thinks)  Wait a minute, is she knocked up?  is that what this is about?  Is it yours?

BRYAN -  (Getting madder)  No!

FATHER -  Not yours?  Then just fuck her and let someone else take care of it....

BRYAN -  I mean, no, she's not pregnant!

FATHER -  Then what the hell do you want from me?

BRYAN -  The truth.

FATHER -  (Getting irritated)  I always tell the truth, even if people don't like it....I tell the truth always....

BRYAN -  So how do you figure this?

           (He waves some papers, his father takes them)

FATHER -  What is this?  Ancestry.com?  What the....

BRYAN -  Christie, she saw this ad on TV.....

FATHER -  -(Waves this aside)  That girl watches too much TV, she told me her favorite show was (derogatory)  the Bachelor!  Not too bright, and when those tits start to sag....

BRYAN - Shut up!  ((Breathes heavy)  She wanted to know who I was, what our family was.

FATHER -  So what?

BRYAN -  So she sent some of my DNA in...

FATHER -  Jesus, and you didn't know?  Now that's stupid....spendin' good money on crap like that....

BRYAN -  These are the results, Dad.....

        (He points to something on the pages)

BRYAN -  There, read that!

FATHER -  Eastern European ancestry......so what?

BRYAN -  Do you know what that means?

FATHER -  Some of our ancestors were Pollacks, again, who cares, it probably means you could have some dumb babies.....

BRYAN -  Incredible!  Boy this harder than I thought.....when she saw that, she made me get tested for all these diseases, and you know what came up?

FATHER -  Cabbage and potatoes and vodka?

BRYAN -  Tay Sachs

FATHER -  Is it tasty?

BRYAN - (Scornful) It's a disease....you idiot...

          (His father smacks his son across the face, but the boy doesn't flinch)

BRYAN -  It's a bad disease, kind of like it kills your baby.....

FATHER -  So, don't have babies, get a yellow one from China....

BRYAN -  It's a disease  (reading)...primarily found ...in Ashkenazi Jews.....

         (His father sits heavily)

BRYAN -  No punch?  No reaction at all?  Do you know what that means, Dad?  It's from the patrilineal side - that means you, Dad!  That's means... there's a Jew in the woodpile!

         (His father now jumps up and rips up the papers)

BRYAN -  That's really smart, I guess the Polish part landed in you, right?

         (His father moves to smack him again and he ducks this tim)

BRYAN -  It's just a copy, we have the originals.....did you know?  Or did you suspect that all along because you love money so much!

FATHER -  Shut up and get the hell outta here!  I don't have to listen to this shit!

BRYAN -  Shit?  I don't think so, Dad.....why would I make this up?  I mean, what this means is......I hate ......me......

           (His father turns away, and is trying to get a hold of himself)

FATHER -  Your grandfather, on your mother’s side, he ….once told me he escaped from Russia, back at the turn of the last century…..something called a….pogrom….
But he was senile, no one listened to him…..especially not my father……

BRYAN -  So it’s true…..

FATHER -  I don’t know…..and I don’t wanna know!  I don’t wanna listen to this!

          (He shakes his head)

BRYAN -  But you hafta listen…..unless I was adopted, I’m part Jew…..how can I hate, part of me……

FATHER -  Just focus on hating…..me….

             (He slumps and his son goes to him, touches his shoulder)

BRYAN -  Look Dad, I didn’t know what to think, but maybe, we can kinda, learn about this …together?

FATHER -  Okay……

BRYAN -  Maybe we could even go to synagogue sometime?

              (His father hugs him, and turns to leave)

FATHER -  Look, I’m gonna get a beer, want one?  I mean, do Jews drink beer? 

BRYAN -  Yeah, I guess they do!

              (His father exits, and Bryan watches, then turns to the audience)

BRYAN -  And that’s exactly how it went…..in my brain….the truth is, my father beat the crap outta me – I still have a scar here…..

            (Points to his temple)

BRYAN -  And I haven’t seen my father in four years…..and I broke up with Christie, because she didn’t wanna marry a Jew, let alone one with a marker for a disease!  And my brothers and sisters don’t talk to me….and I don’t get it, I mean, they have Jewish blood, too?  Right?

So here I am, rabbi, ready to learn….but first, just one question…..how do I stop hating….myself?

              (Blackout.  The beginning of the end of a bit of prejudice.)

---------------------------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

--------------------------------------------------------------