Friday, May 27, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #835 A Promotional Date by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 27, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #835 A Promotional Date by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 27,  2016

                          A Promotional Date
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2016 all rights reserved
       (Older man enters, he's annoyed)

You know women, Jake.  Why was she so mad.... I mean she got a free meal!

And it was nice, you know, a full meal, salad, a good senior dinner with salisbury steak and potatoes and two over-cooked vegetables!  Plus a scoop of vanilla ice cream for dessert.  Who could ask for more!

And you shoulda seen her, I mean her face was like a prune!  And not the good kind, the one with the pits!

So I tried to make some small talk, after all, it was supposed to be a date where we got to know each other a little....I felt like a dentist....pulling teeth!

I asked her about her dead husband, and it turns out, she had two of them.....and she didn't want to talk about how much money they left....or anything else important!


Of course I told her about my perfect wonderful wife, may her memory be blessed......

For some reason she didn't seem interested.  

        (Listens, shakes head)

You're right, she did say something about it....but who cares?  So we had to listen to an hour of them trying to sell us hearing aids - it was a free lunch and you can't beat a free lunch!  
And I didn't even expect her to put out!

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

So, how long do you think I should wait until I ask her for the second date?

        (He exits to more not-so-free lunch)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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