Friday, May 20, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #828 Victim....(for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 20, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #828 Victim....(for Senior Channel)  by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 20,  2016

                      A monologue by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2016 all rights reserved

        (The older woman is dressed nicely, maybe with a hat.  She comes out tentatively)

This is my first time ever on a commercial.....


Oh, sorry, I  mean a public service announcement.  I guess anything that interrupts my shows I call a commercial.....


Oh, sorry, I know I have to go fast......I am a victim and this announcement is to make people aware of a very serious problem for people of all ages.......

I was in my garden, minding my own business, getting rid of weeds,......and I heard the car pull up....I didn't have on my glasses.....I don't need them to see weeds.......and then I heard the hearing is not so good, and all I got was......'Hello!  Wilma!'  That's my name, Wilma.......and then the horrifying sound.......

        (She chokes up)

The cardboard hitting the cement, the screeching tires.......ten boxes!

I had become the victim of.....a driveby cluttering!

I heard the voice......saying......'We need the space......gotta go!'  And they were gone!

And I was left with all those boxes!  Of things I thought were gone!  But friend had saved them....I had forgotten all about them.......when I moved, she took them and said she'd save them for me, I told her to get rid of them!  But I suspected she kept them when a few times when we were playing mah jong she hinted they were in her garage.......'Wilma, I still have those boxes...' she would say......but I would tell her to throw it all out!  I hadn't seen it in five years!

and then.......

          (She chokes up again, listens)

OK, I'll get a hold of myself.....

I shoulda just left the boxes there for the garbage men.....but the pickup had just been the day before!  So I couldn't leave it all in the street!  So I dragged it inside, and I.....made the fatal error....of ....(very quiet)....looking in the boxes.

That was my fault......I was wrong.  I shoulda had the nice neighbor boy toss them into the trash......I shoulda never looked.....

But I did.....and I found some old photos I thought were lost in the move.....

          (She holds up some pictures)

Maybe it wasn't so bad.......but the rest......I ended up going through it.....

And even some stuff that wasn't even mine!  Scary!

And that is what is wrong with driveby clutterings!  Stop the pain!  If you see someone coming to clutter you up with old stuff you thought you got rid this number now!  A professional organizer will be at your house within 30 minutes!

         (She turns to go, stops, looks back)

You think it can't happen to you....but it can.......So, remember.....beware of driveby cluttering......the horror!

         (She exits to more clutter)


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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