Saturday, May 14, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #822 Turns Around (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 14, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #822 Turns Around by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 14,  2016

        These are two previous monologues (Days 474 and 475) put together for one very able actor who can go from 15 to 100 in a very brief stretch.  An acting tour de force.

                                   Turns Around
                                               (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                            A monologue by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2016 all rights reserved

        (The young man comes hesitantly to the wheelchair, sits in it and does a wheelie, laughs)

Sorry, I just love my skateboard!  I don't have a lotta time to I practice with the wheelchair at home!.....I know, this is my first time here….well, you know my mom, Brenda, well she  couldn't come today because gramps, that's her grandfather.....that's my great grandfather....he's having a procedure, and she has to drive him, and I don't have a license yet, so, she’s been trying to get me to come to these meeting….and I told her I just don’t wanna be there when she talks, and she told me I should come here now, when she’s not here, because….. it might help me....because I'm feeling kinda.....I dunno.....

       (The others chime in with adjectives that might fit....'rotten?' 'horrible', lousy....'like running away')

Running away!  That's what I'd like to do......but not like that guy from last month, whose dad really died, I mean, that's not what I want.....I just want to be.....what I am, I wanna be fifteen for a few days.....without worrying about gramps.... and if he took his pills, or too many pills….if he can get to the bathroom without help…..make sure he doesn’t trip on my shoes!...Yeah, he’s the one…. he's a hundred now, it's really amazing, ever since he turned 100 in September, a lot of reporters come and the TV people.  They love him, and so do I.  I mean, he doesn't do a lot now except tell stories.  They're good stories, it's just....when I was about six, seven, eight, he'd take me out for ice cream and a movie sometimes, and tell the same stories. 

         (He takes the wheelchair and moves it around the stage, pointing at things)

 He may be a hundred, but I musta heard those stories a hundred times!  And no one comes from the TV to ask how I take him for a ride every day in the wheelchair, to give him, you know, a little fresh air. 

And I feel really guilty to feel like this.....(getting more upset) ...I mean, I know it's a blessing to have a grandparent, and even bigger blessing to have a great-grandparent.  And I love my gramps.....he's a great guy, but....I just wanna know....when does my life start?  I mean, when do I get to live, so I'll have stories for my grandchildren..... (in anguish)  When does it get to turn?

         (As he finishes speaking, he will sit in a chair, turned around from the audience, and the others will approach him and rapidly put on a wig that is gray, and a jacket that an older person would wear, shoes with velcro....until he is no longer young, but .....his own grandfather.  He stands and walks very slowly to the wheelchair, sitting with difficulty, then standing up, walking with a bit more strength)

I am not going to sit in that chair!  What do I need that for?  I can still walk!  I'm not going to be running in one of those marathons like some crazy old people do, but I can still get to the bathroom under my own steam!

My great grandson is a good kid.....but you hear only one side of the story.....his side!
And all of you....

          (He indicates the others in the group and then the audience)

You listen to the other young people - and when I say young, I mean anyone under the age of 85!  You listen to them complain about how tough it is to listen to all my old stories.....well, so what?  They have no idea what it's like to be old!  Now I can remember what it was like to be young....don't let anyone fool was great!

Now all I have is stories, and when I tell those stories, I can see it in their eyes....(imitates) How many times do I have to listen to this?'

Ok, maybe I'm 100 years old, and they come to talk to me about how I lived so long?  How am I supposed to know?  Am I God?

All I that I wish I was 15 again!  I listen to people say 'ooh, how wonderful it must be to be 100....'  What a pile of hooey!  No one lies in bed at night and thinks.......Wow, I can hardly wait until I'm 100!  I'm looking forward to being old and wrinkled and have liver spots and can't drink or smoke anymore!  And all the ailments - mmmm, they sound so enticing!  And most of my friends will be dead and gone!  There's another bonus!  All those funerals I can look forward to - what a shangri-la it is to get old!

       (He starts to get tired, leans onto the wheelchair,s its heavily)

Well, that's it for my energy for today, folks.  What was that?  Three minutes of excitement?  A new record!

       (He wheels away slowly, stops, looks back)

One thing, I do love that's a pleasure watching him grow up to be a nice young man.....(thinks)  ....Payback......maybe that's why I lived this long....., I didn't listen to my grandpa, now I don't get listened to......maybe that's what he meant when he would tell me....what goes around, comes around.....

       (He does a spin in the wheelchair....reminiscent of his great-grandson, and wheels off as lights fade, end of scene)


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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