Thursday, May 5, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #813 A Day in the Life of a Caregiver -2 minute version (for CAREGIVERS ANONYMOUS) by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 5, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015
                                                                                           second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 
   *********                                                         third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!
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Monologue Mania Day #813 A Day in the Life of a Caregiver -2 minute version  (for CAREGIVERS ANONYMOUS) by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 5,  2016

 For other monologues from Caregivers Anonymous, please see Days # 268, 270, 271, 273, 284, 285, 286, 314, 317, 380, 412, 444, 454, 455, 456, 473, 474, 475, 476, 483, 484, 513, 514, 566, 569, 666, 692, 702, 714, 777, 778, 782, 783, 797, 802, 812 and today's 813                                          

There was a request for a shortened version of Day # 783 - so here it is - from 8-10 minutes now under 2 minutes!

                                         A Day in the Life of a Caregiver
                                                     (2 minute version for Caregivers Anonymous)  
                                          A monologue by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2016 all rights reserved

      (Actor comes onstage - with bags and boxes of items that they roll out in a wheelchair or walker)

Hello!  Welcome to….. a day in the life of a caregiver!

        (Pulls out an alarm clock)

          (Now has toilet paper and cleaning materials)

Bathroom duty.... Depends change.....

           (Has a bag of adult undergarments)
(Excited)  And meds!  And dressings!  And bandages!

          (Throws pill bottles in the air and juggles them.  Boxes of bandaids, eyepatches, and other slings appear - an alarm rings and they turn it off, sighs)

Up thirty minutes and I have yet to brush my teeth!  Or put on make-up- let's forget it for today.... Or forever, whichever comes first....

 But the person we take care of.....We have to do their teeth.....And dressing...

Wait, I thought I did dressing! 

            (Holds up the bandaids, shakes head)

 NO!  Dressing!  I get so confused!

            (Pulls out clothing and throws it up in the air.  Stops, thinks, looks at watch)

Wait, have we had breakfast yet?  
            (Pulls out a frying pan and bounces food on it)

And now time for a walk!  It's sunny, no it's raining!

                (Pulls out hats and umbrellas)

Shopping!  And ...oh, my God....did I forget.....  ...a doctor's appointment?

                (Look at watch, and phone, and calendar.  Runs around collecting all the items on the floor and throws them into the boxes, putting the boxes onto the wheelchair, walker)

We're late!
Which doctor is it today?  Urologist.. No!  ... Cardiologist?
Procotologist?  (Shudders)  .Orthopedic Surgeon?

(Trying to remember)  Wait....not a - today is physical therapy!

              (Runs the wheelchair/walker around the stage)

Need to get gas.....
....and remember to put up the handicapped sign!

             (Wipes forehead)

 And the day isn't even half over, why am I a little tired?

 All I do is take care of someone....
 Easy peesy....Actually, I take care of two people,'s twice as easy!

(Very fast)   Home and a nap, and then  dinner time and it's sundowning and then  bathtime and then it's time to wash a million dishes and glasses and where did their glasses go they can't watch tv without the right glasses!  And then - washing clothes!  Lots of clothes that no matter about the Depends there's always accidents!  And then it's time for bed and did I lock all the doors so they don't wander out and is the commode ready and is the nightlight on and......

            (Collapses on the floor)

Why am I still tired?

            (Gets up slowly)

Just lazy I guess!

             (Hears a noise, BZZZZ ring!)

(Horror)  Oh, no!  It can't be....I just went to sleep!

               (Turns and and bows, start to walk off, stop, look back)

Well, let's get going.....a day in the life of a caregiver! And we do it....because ….they love us…..and …..we love them...

              (Exits to another long, but wonderful day)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.  

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