Monologue Mania: January 2016

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 719 Advanced Degree by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 31, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

                      first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day # 719 Advanced Degree by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 31, 2016

Advanced Degree

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(Older woman comes onstage slowly, with a cane or walker - whatever is available, She comes over to the edge of the stage, looks off, shakes head.)

I can't believe it, I didn't do the dishes. I never didn't do the dishes. Ever. I always hated dishes in the sink. Please forgive me, my friend, you'll have to help yourself to some coffee.....I don't seem to have the energy......

(Listens, shakes head)

Of course I'm not OK....I am.....failing.

(Waves hand)

Please don't argue with me.....I know the truth.....

That's what I am. Failing.

Failing to thrive. Failing to do what I know I should do but I no longer care about any more.

When I was little, we would go visit my grandpa's father.... great grandpa who was .....a million years old. After we left, my mother would shake her head and say...'He's failing'

And since my older brother and sister were in school, I would ask...'Failing what? Do you still have to go to school when you're a million years old?'

And my mother would laugh and that would be the end of that.

Both my parents died young - smoking. It may have been cancer and emphysema that were the bullets, but it was smoking that fired those bullets......But because they died young, they just passed away....they didn't have time .....to fail....

I hated that word failing. It meant....failure. I was a teacher for 35 years, and I never used that word with children, not with them, or their parents.

I would work harder with those children, so they could pass.

Now all I pass....is gas.

But failing at the end of your life....what does that mean? That you have failed to stay alive better? That you are not succeeding at death? What exactly does it mean? I know.....it means nothing good.

A polite way of saying.....'circling the drain.'

But somehow, today, I woke up with the sensation that I am looking at it all wrong. The things I thought were so important....the dishes, whether every spec of dirt is off my plate......and whether or not I cook the eggs....just right......maybe, these things.....are not as important as I thought.

I remember when my poor daughter, who used to put on the strangest combinations of clothing and I would complain.....'what are you wearing? you can't be seen in that on the street! You can't go to school like that......or do your hair all fancy just for bowling! And she would look so hurt.....

Maybe.....just maybe......I was wrong. This is the same daughter who now comes to take me shopping every week, and out to lunch.....I found myself commenting on her strange new earrings, and I stopped, and looked at them again, and realized.....how unimportant it was and I...thanked her for being so good to me even after I had said all those things to her......Things that didn't really matter.....

And now.....I look around at all the silliness I thought mattered......if the stamps were on straight on letters that are now long in the trash......about how to make the bed properly......how foolish I have been!

Yet somehow.......I feel relieved.....hardly failing at all......Perhaps the lessons that I needed to learn.....I have been learning....all along....Maybe I haven't been failing at all......

Maybe....I'll think of a new way to call it this time.......maybe I'm not failing.....maybe....I'm graduating.....from life......
.
(Turns to leave, stops looks back)

After all, I do seem to have....an advanced degree!

(She exits, with honors)

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 718 The Other Side of the Table by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 30, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

Monologue Mania Day # 718 The Other Side of the Table by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 30, 2016

This is related to Day # 697 - After the Horse

The Other Side of the Table

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(This is a man who knows what he wants. In his late forties, early fifties -not young anymore, but still able, still virile, still very dangerous.)

That was good coffee.

(Puts down a cup, raises his hand)

How about a walk? It's a nice day, and the river is pretty this time of day, with the sun setting.

I imagine you are wondering why I asked you out.....I mean, there is a bit of an age difference, but you are a widow.....three months is it? Yes, I know you never mentioned that....but I know.....now you wonder....how do I know? That's what this walk is for....

You see, I go to these Narcotics Anonymous meetings to meet people just like you.....and I am going to make you a proposition.....we'll start going out, have a visible affair.....which can be physical, if you want, but my superiors usually prefer that not develop.....we can discuss that later......anyhow, after a few torrid months, I will dump you, very visibly, and miserably for a younger woman, and you will be devastated and move to a small town where you know no one....except maybe years ago a distant relative.....but that can be worked out......

Sound like an interesting scenario? I hope so.....that stunned look on your face is probably because I didn't groom you as well as your college boss did.....the one who convinced you to go against most if not all of your moral and ethical training to become a mule......

Yes....I know all about it.

Here.....does this look familiar?

(He holds open a paper, looks at her reaction and nods)

Yes, he was older in this, he lasted awhile in this business......not an easy task....

(Puts away the paper)

He took his time, maybe a couple, three semesters, .it was comfortable, he was a friend who had money when you didn't...no pressure for sex, you liked that.....he was.....a friend....a friend who took you out when you needed it.......until you were deep in debt for those college loans, and your parents couldn't help, and you couldn't see the future after you graduated, with all....that....money.....owing....and no job.....and he made it look so.....easy. One trip....to visit your family......and you got a nice big stack of twenty dollar bills....safe......and he showed you how to hide the money......how to make it official......he......helped you......

And the way he probably talked to you, if you were caught.....you could pretend you didn't know what was going on.....but you didn't have to worry, it was ...just a few weeks, months....and you were through......finished with school, finished with him.........

You probably never realized......if he had wanted, you would never have been finished with him.......he had his claws in you for blackmail for the rest of your life......but he plenty of other fish to fry.....so to speak.......and you moved away, and you got married....had a son......and now.....you don't have the son.....or the husband......and you wonder, when you can't sleep without a good shot of that vodka.......if something you smuggled made someone else's son die.......

(He takes out a kleenex)

Go ahead, let it out.....you haven't told anyone any of this in ......how many years? Thirty? Forty? Did you ever tell your husband? Or was it ....one of the secrets you still held close.....we all have them.......

(Listens, nods)

Good question....why am I telling you this now? Here's the truth......you're not twenty anymore, and I don't have the time to groom you......I barely have time to do the fake affair....because I need someone NOW...in the town where you will go......there are three teenagers dead.....

(He is affected by this)

.....and an estimate that half the youth population is using meth.....and a new kind of spice that you can't get at Walmart......and because it's a small town.....a stranger sticks out....except one who had an aunt who lived - and died - there years ago......so you won't be a stranger for long......and yes, if your next question is how dangerous is it? It is......everything you see on TV and worse......but here's the big question.....what exactly are you living for now?

(He stops, watches, looks at his watch)

So, you've heard the pitch......I'm gonna turn here, at this fork in the road, and it's your choice now...you follow me, you grab my arm.....you're in.....(slight touch of sarcasm).....a somewhat less-than-new recruit in the war against drugs....

(He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And I think that, I sincerely hope that....after what you've been through, this time....you want to be sitting on....the other side of the table.....

(He exits, lights down, end of scene)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.After the Horse

Friday, January 29, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 717 Maybe Next Time (revised) by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 29, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

Monologue Mania Day # 717 Maybe Next Time (revised) by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 29, 2016

This was originally posted just over a year ago - on  Day# 336 Jan. 14, 2015

                              Maybe Next Time

                                          tigerteam1@gmail.com

              (A man comes out, sauntering. He is muscled, confident, in his prime. He stops and looks at an empty chair, touches it. Then he turns, waves at the crowd, he is burning with pride.)

Hey, thank you. It's great to see how many of you came today......

              (He puts his hand to shade his eyes, surveying the audience)

Wow! Everybody's here, cool.

              (He indicates a chair)

I know that's my chair, but I thought I'd say a few words before I sit down. Hope you don't mind, since this event is for me, too, right?

            (He struts around the stage)

Amazing. I never was up on a stage like this, except for graduation from high school, and then the fire academy.....but that was part of a crowd, this is different.....(says it with pride) Medal of Valor, the top award for a firefighter. Only given when you die in the line of duty.....that's me!

           (Indicates the empty chair)

I know you can't see me, or hear me, but you're all talking about feeling my presence, so here I am! I'm sorry I didn't come to the funeral, that was.....probably very depressing. But hey, you can't have everything, can you?

One thing, I am happy I did what I did. No regrets. No hassle. No worries. I would do it again, go into that window and pull out that grandmother and her two grandchildren.....go back in because they were unconscious, and.......

   (He relives the moment)

I thought I saw another body in there......

And I put my foot in the wrong place.....and the whole world collapsed. It was stunning, and so here I am now......the occupant of the empty chair.

   (He goes to sit down)

One nice thing about being dead, I don't have to listen to these speeches! Bonus!

          (Stands up)

And I can talk whenever I want......I do have a few words for everyone.... mom, dad, I see you over there. Interesting story, never told anyone, but my mom was forty when she met my Dad, who was divorced, with grown children, and he told her that he didn't - absolutely never - want more children. And she agreed. She was not the motherly type. But then, well, you know how it is - accidents happen.

And my Dad wanted her to have an abortion, but even though she didn't want me, here's the funny part, she didn't want anyone telling her what to do! So, here I am! The child of stubborness....

And I know this story because I heard it many times, any time my parents had a fight....boy, could they fight....how I wished they would just shut up.........

So, maybe because of all the sparks, from when I was a little kid, I wanted to be a firefighter.....put out fires.

(Looks at the speaker)

That's Joey, my best friend. We met in the academy, and we've been buds since then. He's a good guy, he came in after me, to save me.

I would've done the same for him, and he was coming in for me.....but here's what really happened....I was already dead and I was yelling at him not to come in, too dangerous.....but he couldn't hear me, the noise was intense, it always is. Between the fire and the hoses and people screaming, he couldn't hear a dead man......so I.....

   (Reaches out his arms)

I did what I saw in movies, funny, huh? Guess what, it works! .....I just grabbed his jacket......

(Yanks back)

And now he's telling it that he slipped and by the time he could up, the place blew - he was knocked back outside, into some bushes, broken ribs, but still alive.....

Why'd I do it? Because even though Joey and I could have a lotta fun this side, he has a wife, a coupla kids.......it's better this way.....

   (Listens)

He knows what happened though, I could tell.....he told Jessica, too......I can see her looking at this chair.....

   (He stares)

(Amazed) She can see me....I can tell......

(He sits in the chair, very moved)

She's crying now...... I can't take when she cries.....see, before she married Joey, we used to go out, but I didn't wanna get married. She did. So we broke up, and Joey asked if it was ok to go out with her. I said sure, what did I care?

             (Remembering, he puts his head in his hands)

She came to me and asked me what I wanted to do.....she was pregnant. Just a few weeks.....I told her ...it was her choice......and if she didn't wanna tell Joey until later, and leave out the details......then that was also.....her choice

So he never knew, and there we have it......

              (He points into the crowd)

Joey Jr. wants to be a firefighter, too. Look at him, he has a hat and the whole thing already.....(very affected).....that's my boy........

              (Touches his eyes)

Hey, what about that? No tears! No kleenex! Cool!

              (He looks at the 'speaker')

Nice speech, Joey.....I didn't know you had it in you....take care good of them.....take good care of... my boy....

             (Watches the speaker leave)

Wow, what Joey said had some heavy effect on this crowd! They all need kleenexes......

             (He scans the crowd, now surprised)

Is that my mom and dad? (Cynical) Are they crying?

             (Looks closely)

(Not cynical now) They are.....they're crying....for me......

I can't believe it.....I think, they might actually have.....loved me.....(very affected).....wow....

(Still amazed) If I'd known that, boy, would things have been different....I guess.....

           (Suddenly realizes something)

Maybe I woulda been the one giving the speech....(deep breath)..... going home with myson......
(He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Maybe....next time......

(He exits, the fire now slowly burning out.)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 716 You Were Right by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 28, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

Monologue Mania Day # 716 by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 28, 2016

You Were Right!

(A middle-aged woman comes onstage, she is looking at some papers and shaking her head sadly)

Okay, Dad, I get it. I got the lesson. I know you think I never learn anything from you, that I don't listen - and maybe you've been right. Maybe I shouldn't have married Toby.....but then of course I wouldn't have the grandchildren you love so much, so maybe that wasn't such a bad mistake.

But maybe I shouldn't have let Toby invest all our money in that crazy scheme - heated toilet seats for people who didn't want frozen hineys in the morning.

Okay, so life has been a struggle since then, and you've helped us - helped us a lot. And you've taught me a lot about the stock market. More than I could have learned in school, because you've had all these years of experience.

Maybe I didn't listen, but now I do, and I think it's time you listened to me. You have lost lots of money because you are not following your own rules. You are putting all your money into three stocks, not diversifying like you taught me.

You are buying at the high because someone told you it was a good idea! A man on TV. That crazy man who screams at people all day and makes millions on a TV show telling other suckers like you....I mean investors like you - how you should invest your hard-earned money!

(Getting louder) And you listen to HIM! Not to ME! Me who has studied your system - WHICH WORKS IF YOU USE IT! Who begged you not to buy thousands of shares of a stock at its HISTORIC HIGH POINT because you warned me NEVAH NEVAH NEVAH buy a stock at its high point!

Who begged you to sell calls on it, so that JUST IN CASE it did not go up, you would have some income and you told me that IDIOT on TV said the stock was going up another ten points. So you didn't want to ENCUMBER the stock with calls so you could take advantage of the ten dollar increase..........and you DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME!

(Calms a bit)

And he was right about the ten points - but in THE WRONG DIRECTION! It dropped ten points, then another ten points and then ANOTHER ten points and you are shitting bricks - on a cold toilet I may add - because all your money is tied up and somehow, somewhere, somewhy.....it is MY FAULT! Because you helped me, and I suggested what to do - which was YOUR OWN ADVICE just told back to you......, and you didn't do it....so now it is my fault because I.......

(She thunps her chest wildly)

I.....didn't convince you!

I can't win!

(Listens, laughs, shakes head)

Yes, Dad, you are right. You always told me amateurs never win in the stock market. Once again.....you are right.....

(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I'll have dinner ready in five minutes......

(She exits to the real world)

-------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 715 Planned Adolescence by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 27, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

Monologue Mania Day # 715 Planned Adolescence by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 27, 2016

Planned Adolescence

(The older woman comes out, holding a letter to her chest, she is smiling broadly)

A letter! I got a letter! No one ever sends letters anymore! And it's not from a computer, it's written in his own hand.....and what a beautiful handwriting it is!

(She holds up the paper and marvels)

He must have gone to parochial school, or a private school...no one has nice handwriting like this without a lot of screaming and smacked fingers!

And the way he phrases things.....

(Reading) 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day...' Oh, they must have made him memorize all the classics!

(Looks up, listens)

Oh, yes, dear, he sent it to me even though he lives in the next building over......what a romantic! I can't believe it, I'm 93 years old tomorrow, and I think I'm blushing!

(She puts her head down)

And yet, I find it hard to believe that......I feel like I did the first time I met him......back in high school......no, not him....my husband......I feel....the same way....is that possible? At this age?

(She folds the letter up and tucks it into her blouse)

Yes, I'm going to let him know how I feel.....but not this minute.....not right now.....I'm enjoying this too much......

(She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And if I respond too quickly, he might think....I'm easy!

(She laughs and exits.....never too late for a teenage romance)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 714 New Inventions (for Caregivers Anonymous)by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 26, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

Monologue Mania Day # 714 New Inventions (for Caregivers Anonymous)by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 26, 2016

For other monologues from Caregivers Anonymous, please see Days # 268, 270, 271, 273, 284, 285, 286, 314, 317, 380, 412, 444, 454, 455, 456, 473, 474, 475, 476, 483, 484, 513, 514, 566, 569, 666, 692, 702 and today's 714

New Inventions(c)

(for Caregivers Anonymous)

(Rolling out a wheelchair that is covered by a blanket, the actor is greeted by applause)

Thank you, my friends, for letting me test out my latest inventions before I take them to the Shark Tank!

(Whirls the device around proudly)

Here it is! The very first, the one, the only and the very original, motorized, wheelchair porta-potty!

(Removes the blanket to reveal a porta-potty attached to a wheelchair. The group cheers)

With this amazing device, you never again have to worry about the dreaded.....accident!

No need for Depends, no need for underwear at all! Just use the handy throw-away wraps you love from your hospital visits!

(Illustrates by waving one of the cover-ups like a cape)

Sit yourself or the person you love on the seat - it could even be heated in future versions! - and when they have to go, just go! No rushing to get to a toilet that is dirty and difficult to use!

No waiting at busy bathrooms! No clean-ups! When the going is gone, a detector in the seat releases paper to neautralize and absorb what we politely refer to as.....waste materials. But I always say....waste not, want not! The special recyclable bag in the chair can be tied up and will degrade perfectly into...... quality fertilizer!

(Holds up a bag with printing)

Yes, folks - from Potty to Plant! Great daisies from great hineys!

(The others groan)

And then, to finish..... a blast of scented or unscented, biodegradable Febreze into the holder - no muss, no fuss.....and best of all - NO ODURE! No leftover stuffed-toilet scent to follow you around as you shop or eat out......you'll come up smelling like a daisy before anyone is pushing up daisies.......So, Sharks, whaddaya think? Who's gonna be the first smarty-pants to jump on the wagon - for a great new idea.......introducing.........the wheel-a-potty!?

(The group cheers, but the presenter waves hands)

But wait, there's more! Here's a few things you can do with the items you will no longer need when your excruciating trips to the store become exciting adventures again....

(Takes out some items)

Remember these? When there's no available handicapped potty? How you used to need this....

(Holds up the extender - see one look here)

and this?

(Holds up a portable handle - to see one look here) ...so that your loved one could sit comfortably and then stand up without you pulling out your back?

Well now you can turn these into fun items you can use.....every day!

(Turns the potty extender around and it's a bright color)

Everyone can use a new hat! Just plop it on.....sorry I just had to use that word.....

(Places on head)

And this becomes....a great new accessory!

(Attaches the handle to the extender and leads self offstage as the others give a standing ovation to lights down. Blackout. End of scene)

-------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Monday, January 25, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 713 A Tree Grows in......(for Tu B'shevat)by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 25, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

Monologue Mania Day # 713 A Tree Grows in......(for Tu B'shevat)by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 25, 2016

(Tu B'shevat - the 15th day of the month of Shevat - is a Jewish holiday - the new year for trees. Today, Jan. 25th - was this year's Tu B'shevat. Happy New Year Trees! For more info - http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/3264/jewish/15-Shevat.htm)

A Tree Grows in....(c)

(for Tu Bshevat)

(An older person comes out, carrying a shovel. Looks around, reaches down, tests the soil, rubs some in hands.)

My father taught me that an olive tree needs only a few things to succeed- the first is the last part of the word...succ - SEED......I'm sorry, my father liked silly jokes.......

(He takes a seed from a pocket and holds it up, then puts it lovingly into the ground)

The next is soil.......

(He sprinkles the soil back onto the ground)

Water, and the sun......but the most important ingredient....hope.

We plant the seed, and we hope. Because the tree will not bear fruit for years. And we hope the fruit will be good.

And olive trees are very giving. Some produce 100 pounds in a year....

And a giant Chemlali can give you one ton of fruit in a year.......enough to feed a small town....if all they ate was olives!

All trees lead us back to the Tree of Knowledge......and an olive tree has so much knowledge to share. A tree is a living example of many things, but most of all....patience. A tree cannot run away from trouble......a tree must wait to be fed, and to get water.....a tree must have faith that the bugs will not suck out the life of the sap......

And most of all....a tree sends out its children to the corners of the earth, some nearby, but most the tree will never see....most will grow in other places.....other times......

There is much to learn from the trees......and....

(Sits down and leans against the tree)

There is the time to learn it while taking a nap in the shade....

And here's the other hope - that no one disturbs me!

(Puts hat over eyes, does not walk off, but dozes off! Hopefully never the end of wonderful trees......)

------------------------------------

Another monologue about trees - Around the Block
and for more info on the holiday- http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday8.htm

When you come to the land and you plant any tree, you shall treat its fruit as forbidden; for three years it will be forbidden and not eaten. In the fourth year, all of its fruit shall be sanctified to praise the L-RD. In the fifth year, you may eat its fruit. -Leviticus 19:23-25

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 712 Good Enough by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 24, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

Monologue Mania Day # 712 Good Enough by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 24, 2016

Good Enough (c)
by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved tigerteam1@gmail.com

(Young man storms onstage, he is holding up a phone, sets it on a table so he can broadcast.)

There, you can see me now. Whaddaya think? Am I good enough now? Do you think I can finally follow through on something I'm gonna do?

Mom, you always said I was lazy, and Dad, you said I didn't ...listen to you. Well, now you have to listen to me. Figure out what I'm saying.

What about you Mr. Weber? Do you remember me? In third grade, when you told me I would never understand that stuff about fractions? That I was......not bright enough, but I could do other stuff, maybe, like....painting houses. Not carpentry...or welding, that was too much math......

Or you, Mrs. Dupont? My career counselor who just knew college was not for me.....you were right! I flunked out of community college, you should be happy to be right, right?

All of you......who wouldn't invite me to parties, and you girls who wouldn't go out with me, and all of you.....all of you......who said I wasn't...good enough.

(Yelling) Whaddaya think now? By the time you see this, you'll know just what I was good enough to do......and you'll know that you were wrong....very, very wrong.

(He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Just like they were wrong about Hitler......

(He takes the phone and kisses it. Exits.....into infamy)

-------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 711 Good for the Soul by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 23, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

Monologue Mania Day # 711 Good for the Soul by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 23, 2016

Good for the Soul (c)
by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved tigerteam1@gmail.com

(Young man is smoking a cigarette, listens, nods)

So your dad's innocent. (Laughs) Not mine.

My dad confessed. ........no, they didn't beat it outta him. He did it. He was friends with this guy, and the guy had some speed, and they picked up this girl.....and...they...they did it.

And nobody caught them.....for like, fifteen years.

Funny, you know. He was a good dad. I mean, he wouldn't let me hang out with the kids who got in trouble. I guess.....experience.......

And now, now he's up here, well, I kinda stay outta trouble because......

He confessed.

I asked him why and he told me.....he did it. After they..... did it, my Dad didn't spend any time with his buddy, because, well, he felt the guy was bad news.

My Dad moved down to LA, so he could escape from his past. Married my mom, has a good job.....had a good job.

We had a good life.....until... I guess, no matter how fast you run....the past catches up with you.

He told me he was....you know.... haunted by what they did...., and, in court, he gave the judge a letter to pass along to the lady he hurt. A letter where he apologized for hurtin' her. And he gave me a letter, too.

(He reaches into a pocket, takes out his wallet and removes a well-worn sheet, reads)

'Life always gives you a chance to fix your mistakes.......so, when you get that chance, do it...Do the right thing.....'

(He folds up the letter)

It's funny, he never hit me....or my brothers. So when it happened, when the police came.....I couldn't believe it.....Not my Dad. Not....my .....father. But when I asked him to tell me the truth, he did. And he took me down to the church, and he confessed there. And the priest said he was forgiven. And then he asked me to forgive him......

And I can't.....because when he did it, and then he ran away......he hurt us. They say confession is good for the soul, but......his confession was not good for my soul.....

(He listens)

I come..... every month because......I wanna let him know that....no matter what, he's still my Dad.

(He looks offstage)

Hey....... time to go. The bus is here ......no smokin' for two hours. Can we do it,man?

(Laughs, turns to walk off, stops, looks back)

My Mom’s part Indian…..she always says….’the soul would have no rainbow, if the eye would have no tears…’

(He stubs out the cigarette, walks off)

-------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Friday, January 22, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 710 Squashed (revised) by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 22, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

Monologue Mania Day # 710 Squashed (revised) by Janet S. Tiger Jan. 22, 2016

This monologue was originally posted on March 1, 2014 Day #17

                            Squashed  (c)
   by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (An older man comes out onstage, he is dressed neatly, and he is holding a             check, which he looks at closely, sighing deeply.)

Thank you. This will help.

            (He now takes an envelope from his pocket and puts the check into it and             seals it.)

There, would you please make sure this is mailed?

            (Listens)

Why? Why can’t I give it to her myself? I thought this was obvious. You are going to take my car, for which you have paid me the grand sum of $1000, and you are going to ....(swallows hard).....squash it like a bug.

(Almost robotic) They are not going to take out any of the usable parts, not the engine, which, although it needs some work, is still strong, still able to climb hills, and they will not take the tires, which are good for at least another 10,000 miles, and they will not take all the body parts, which are in good shape for a car this age, because, until recently, it was garaged, and well taken care of…..they will squash it…(with disgust) …like a bug……

            (He takes out a Kleenex and blows his nose, now he is starting to be very             affected)

My dear 1976 Cadillac Coupe de Ville….a car that I have owned for over 30 years, and have loved as if it was a member of my family……a car that I took my babies home from the hospital, that I took my children to school in, (very emotional) that we took wonderful vacations in, that I went to the smog station in – (loud) and where they told me they could no longer smog it ……(very angry) ….unless I spent $10,000 ….(yelling) which I do not have!

My life is over! Since I lost my job, I have no money at all – the unemployment ran out and I have five years to go before I get Social Security! I have looked for work, but for some reason, no one wants a 60 year old man who has not worked in three years and has no car to get to work in!

            (Takes a deep breath)

So, if you are wondering what I am going to do…..I will tell you what I am going to do........I am going to get into that car ,,,,,,,,and you are going to squash me with it! (Quietly) Just like a bug.

            (He turns and walks off. The end)

-------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8