Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 672 Nothing But by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 15, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 650!
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            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
Monologue Mania Day # 672  Nothing But by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 15, 2015
                               Nothing But
                                       by  Janet S. Tiger    
                                © 2015  all rights reserved 

        (Southern man, circa 1973 on TV,loud and very confrontational)

Well hello all you crazies out there in the great country of the United States of America!

        (Cups his hand to his ear)

Did I hear you complain that I called you crazy?  That I should have a modicum of respect for my loyal listeners out there in the vast TV wasteland?  Well, you must not have been listenin' to my show for very long, because I have some radical news for all you bra-burning, hippie- loving, marijuana smoking leftist liberals-  (yelling) I don't care!

Did you hear me?  I said.....I don't give rat's patoot about any of your stupid, insipid, uninsightful and meaningless comments or input!  So put down your pens and papers, hang up your phone and listen to the truth!  Because most of you out there wouldn't recognize the truth if it smacked you in the behind while you were waitin' to buy your Hostess Ding Dongs!

Why listen?  Because I tell the truth!  No one else has the guts to do it, so I will!  Always!  That's my promise - the truth, and ......say it with me folks..... nothin' but.......

          (He stands up and wiggles his rear end)

........the truth!

We have a great show today my friends, we have a woman from the great state of insanity.....a woman representing NOW - which stands for.....Nutty Organization of Women!

And she will be our first guest, after our advertisers try to get you to buy something you probably don't need and almost certainly don't want!

So don't go away....we're gettin' the hot seat ready!

        (He points to the chair next to his and takes out a flame thrower and lights it on fire.  Cut to commercial)


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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