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Monologue Mania Day # 1339 Meetings by Janet S. Tiger (c) Oct. 14, 2017
Meetings
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © All rights reserved 2017
(This woman may be older, but puts herself together well, a European accent, educated, might help)
Yes, I think we may have met before....maybe we know the same people? It's a small town here, especially for the rich people like us.
I remember you...you were looking to meet someone nice.....but you say you can't find somebody.....why not? You're young! Look at me, I'm 89! I met my last lover online......no, I don't use a computer, I met him ON LINE in the grocery store, which is a very good place to meet people. I have met three of my husbands that way. All very handsome. My last husband was a knock-out, until he died, of course. Ate something that gave him a heart attack. But I think it was a guilty conscience....he was starting to fool around with someone behind my back. That never works out well.....
Oh, the man I met yesterday is nice, very good-looking, 76 years old....so, a little old for me, but, good-looking gets extra points!
He does have a couple of problems - he doesn't drink, and he doesn't smoke, but he's rich, he can learn. I always do a complete investigation with a new man, my daughter calls it an interrogation, but I don't want someone who has food problems - no vegans, nobody who hates anchovies.....I have strict requirements for who gets to spend time with me!
Now you, you've got nothing to complain about! You're how old? Forty-five? Fifty, well, you look good for fifty. Take it from me, you can find someone nice right here at the pharmacy.....you listen, pay attention, you don't want someone who's getting a prescription for a wife, or for heart problems- or for an STD! You want a person who needs some Pepto-Bismol, because they ate too much, or drank too much, and still knows how to have a good time!
Meetings - try going to meetings at the condo owners....a lot of nice men there.....only next time, don't try to take away my husband! You see how that turned out!
Nice talking to you.....see you in line!
(She exits, to meet more people!)
Yes, I think we may have met before....maybe we know the same people? It's a small town here, especially for the rich people like us.
I remember you...you were looking to meet someone nice.....but you say you can't find somebody.....why not? You're young! Look at me, I'm 89! I met my last lover online......no, I don't use a computer, I met him ON LINE in the grocery store, which is a very good place to meet people. I have met three of my husbands that way. All very handsome. My last husband was a knock-out, until he died, of course. Ate something that gave him a heart attack. But I think it was a guilty conscience....he was starting to fool around with someone behind my back. That never works out well.....
Oh, the man I met yesterday is nice, very good-looking, 76 years old....so, a little old for me, but, good-looking gets extra points!
He does have a couple of problems - he doesn't drink, and he doesn't smoke, but he's rich, he can learn. I always do a complete investigation with a new man, my daughter calls it an interrogation, but I don't want someone who has food problems - no vegans, nobody who hates anchovies.....I have strict requirements for who gets to spend time with me!
Now you, you've got nothing to complain about! You're how old? Forty-five? Fifty, well, you look good for fifty. Take it from me, you can find someone nice right here at the pharmacy.....you listen, pay attention, you don't want someone who's getting a prescription for a wife, or for heart problems- or for an STD! You want a person who needs some Pepto-Bismol, because they ate too much, or drank too much, and still knows how to have a good time!
Meetings - try going to meetings at the condo owners....a lot of nice men there.....only next time, don't try to take away my husband! You see how that turned out!
Nice talking to you.....see you in line!
(She exits, to meet more people!)
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
1 comment:
Met him on line...hahaha
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