Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
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Monologue Mania Day # 1331 On a Whim and a Prayer by Janet S. Tiger (c) Oct. 6, 2017
On a Whim and a Prayer
by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2017 all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(The woman is getting a suitcase ready, frantic, trying to talk on her cell phone at the same time)
Yes, I'd love to talk, but the plane leaves at 10 am and I have to be at the airport at 8am, so they can take off my shoes and take pictures of my underwear to make sure I'm not a terrorist!
Yes, I know I promised, but I only have a few minutes left.....yes, I was just there last month.....yes, the trips are getting more frequent, because I have to keep an eye on the helpers.....I'm considering putting in those nanny-cams, maybe for mothers it's called mama-cams? ....yes, I am busy!...Maybe I prefer being busy.....it's better to be busy, sometimes, maybe, I'm just the girl who can't say no....but....ok, thank you for the prayers......and it's ok to wish me good luck for a good trip.....(thinking)....we do laugh a lot, my mother and I......mostly when we're in the bathroom, and I have to remind her how everything works......yes, it is absurd sometimes, and there's insanity and you haven't really done caregiving until you've done diapers.....
(Stops and takes a deep breath)
And I guess, it's full circle, isn't it? She took care of me, now I take care of her.....
(Listens, shrieks)
No! I am not going to have my sons take care of me - that would be more like circling the drain! I'll have to kill myself first! I guess before I forget what I want to do....I'll have to go to one of those states where I can.......really? California allows assisted suicide now? (Happy) Well, problem solved!
(She sits on the suitcase and it closes with difficulty)
Of course, who knows, maybe I'll do it early.....on a whim!
(She laughs as she takes the suitcase for a trip that never seems to end)
Yes, I'd love to talk, but the plane leaves at 10 am and I have to be at the airport at 8am, so they can take off my shoes and take pictures of my underwear to make sure I'm not a terrorist!
Yes, I know I promised, but I only have a few minutes left.....yes, I was just there last month.....yes, the trips are getting more frequent, because I have to keep an eye on the helpers.....I'm considering putting in those nanny-cams, maybe for mothers it's called mama-cams? ....yes, I am busy!...Maybe I prefer being busy.....it's better to be busy, sometimes, maybe, I'm just the girl who can't say no....but....ok, thank you for the prayers......and it's ok to wish me good luck for a good trip.....(thinking)....we do laugh a lot, my mother and I......mostly when we're in the bathroom, and I have to remind her how everything works......yes, it is absurd sometimes, and there's insanity and you haven't really done caregiving until you've done diapers.....
(Stops and takes a deep breath)
And I guess, it's full circle, isn't it? She took care of me, now I take care of her.....
(Listens, shrieks)
No! I am not going to have my sons take care of me - that would be more like circling the drain! I'll have to kill myself first! I guess before I forget what I want to do....I'll have to go to one of those states where I can.......really? California allows assisted suicide now? (Happy) Well, problem solved!
(She sits on the suitcase and it closes with difficulty)
Of course, who knows, maybe I'll do it early.....on a whim!
(She laughs as she takes the suitcase for a trip that never seems to end)
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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