first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org. Some days - like today - will be reruns that are re-written a bit. Hope they are improved!
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Monologue Mania Day # 407 by Janet S. Tiger The First Bite March 26, 2015
The First Bite
by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2015 all rights
(A young man ambles onstage, he is happy, smiling like a young man would if he had just been with a young lady, which he has. Then something stops the happy, he looks, shock registers and he is horrified. Runs, looks up)
What're you doin' honey? That's my clothin'!
(He jumps out of the way to avoid being hit)
Whoa! Take it easy! What the hell you so mad about?
(Listens and jumps again, now he knows, is upset, too)
Oh, honey, I am so sorry you had to find out that way!
I was gonna tell you, I swear! You know I love you, honey!
Don't say that, baby! You know you don't really mean it, I mean, you may mean it right at this minute, but I don't think you really wanna see me dead......
I toldja I was sorry, and I am! You know I don't wanna hurt ya!
I know she's your friend.......I understand maybe not so much anymore.......she feels bad about it, too ....she wishes you guys weren't friends either.......oh, no, she doesn't think it's nicer if she didn't know you.....I'm gettin' confused, baby, lemme come inside and we can talk.....
(He puts up his hands and jumps back)
Whoa, baby, not the shoes! Those really hurt!
(He steps back and stands up tall)
I hope Toby ain't home to see this, it's not good for a boy his age to see this! ....oh, yeah, school, that's good....(gets an idea)....doncha think Toby will be upset if I'm gone? He likes me! We do fun things together! He needs a man around!
(He listens, shoulders slump)
I understand....you gotta right to be mad.....I know it ain't the first time.....but......(gets another idea).....I don't know why I do this, but there was one of those TV shows on that Toby and I were watchin' the other night, after the game was over, he likes to watch that PBS stuff, and it was interestin'......a science show, that Toby, he's a smart kid, maybe he could be a scientist!....Anyhow, they had somethin' about taste, and ....(trying to remember) ....how the first bite always is the best.....and how that's what we think about when we start gettin' hungry, and what we...(struggling to recall the word) ....what we salivate about! That first bite! And the second one is never the same! So you keep goin' eatin, and when you're done, what you remember is that very first bite!
(He smiles, thinking about that bite!)
And that's the way I am, honey! I try hard not to look at those girls, but, it's like.....a disease! That first look, when you know they're innerested, and then the first brush past, when their hand touches your arm, your shoulder, your leg......and then the first kiss......it's like a first bite of a steak, warm and juicy, tender, cooked just right......mmmm, remember our first kiss?
(Steps in, tentative)
The first bite?
(He sees this is getting a reaction, so he steps closer)
? .........And you're the only one I love, you know I love you, you're my Patty Pizza Pie!And when I get a bite outta you, I am so happy! I could have pizza every day!
(Getting too sure of himself)
But, baby, sometimes, I just gotta have me a burger.....
(He puts up his hands again, jumps back)
Wait a minute, don't throw my gun outta the window! It could go off!
(His eyes widen, she's not about to throw the gun)
Oh, baby, gotta go! I'll get my stuff later!....
(He turns to exit, stops, looks back)
But baby, when you're ready, I'd just love another first bite!
(He exits, but he'll be back...for another bite, until she closes her kitchen)
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-ResidenceSwedenborg Hall 2006-8