Friday, March 20, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 401 by Janet S. Tiger Tale of the Pickle Picker March 20, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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click here.
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Monologue Mania Day # 401 by Janet S. Tiger Tale of the Pickle Picker    March 20, 2015         

                                      Tale of the Pickle Picker
                                                     (for the Senior Channel)
                                            by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2015 all rights 

            (A woman comes onstage holding a gift wrapped package.)

I am here today to do a video response to the Senior Channel Hoarding Hour's contest - craziest hoarded items.

            (She opens up the box, it is empty, except for a piece of dirty cardboard the size of a letter)

The gift -  a Pickle Picker.

            (She holds up the cardboard to the camera)

Given as a very first gift....from the man I was dating, who I eventually married.

Obviously, this is not the actual pickle picker but it did look just like the picture here, very unassuming.

Where is the ACTUAL picker?  (Sighs deeply)  In the move last year, it became one of the silent losses.  Maybe loss is too big a word, as the picker was rarely used, except as an example of how silly some gifts can be.  What is left is even sillier - the pickle picker packaging.  Quick, say that five times!
And I take a photo of the front, and hope I can throw the useless cardboard away.  Not so fast!  I take a photo of the back to show there is nothing written from my love, no funny comment that would, in some tiny way, encourage a sentimentality like I have.
Nothing there.  Blank.
Yet we are married 29 years this March -with two wonderful children -and this gift was given in the first few weeks, so the memory is 30 years old.  A true romantic....comedy.
If I no longer have the pickle picker, and I have a photo of the packaging, the big question is now......why so difficult to rid myself of this completely useless piece of bent, dirty cardboard?
Because I am insane.  
        (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)
There, that was easy.

         (She exits, never to discard this precious memory)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

1 comment:

Eat My Words said...

I'm curious about the pickle picker. What does it look like? I think I need one!