Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Monologue Mania Day# 349 by Janet S. Tiger The Gap Theory Jan. 27, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day# 349 by Janet S. Tiger  The Gap Theory Jan. 27, 2015
    (In memory of my dear friend, Jean, who always loved a good theory, may she rest in peace, in whatever gap she now occupies!)

                                    The Gap Theory
                                           (for The Senior Channel)
                                                 by Janet S. Tiger   
                                     c) 2015     all rights reserved

            (The woman enters, still in the labcoat from Day # 345.  She can have an eraseboard or 

Welcome back, seniors.  There was so much interest in Real Life Science, that I am returning to introduce
you to one of the most amazing parts of this entire series -

        (She gives a major flourish)

.......... the theory of......gaps!

 The Gap Theory began, like most great theories, in a flash of understanding so many years ago
 that I no  longer recall the exact moment of its first revelation.  As a child, I was aware of some anomalies of the

 world – items put into the wash that never came back, pens that were on a table one minute, then gone 
the next - that had no rational explanation.

            Jokes were made about these occurrences, but no one could give a sensible explanation.   

So I grew up wondering – where did these items go?  Why did they never return – or return in a 
different, impossible location days, weeks, months, sometimes years later? 

No science class gave a hint of possible logical rationale,.  My mother used to say, 
‘oh, that’s in a gap,” and laugh.  But she could give no further explanation. And then one day, 
I knew the truth.  Just like one day I started remembering things in sequence of time.   
Although those specific days are gone in the mists of time, I refined the concepts over many years of
painstaking research.

 So, without further ado, I will answer the question –“Where does that stuff go?”  

It’s simple, it’s in a gap.  Like the simplicity of my mother’s answer?  Well, I figured out what 
that gap is!  Our world is surrounded by other worlds, and between them is space, and the spaces 
are gaps.

When people exude electrical energy – from anger, excitement, whatever – this energy opens 
up the portal to a gap and whatever is nearby flows in, kind of like a tide.  The item is not visible
 in our world, but it is close by – sometimes you can almost feel it!  And it stays in the gap until
 the energy reverses in some way, and the item flows back into this dimension.

Everyone I know has experienced a situation like this.  Now I’m not talking about lost objects. 
 Or misplaced objects.  These are obvious – they have been moved by a human or animal.  I am talking about the objects that are right there on the desk and then you turn your head for a minute, and look back and they are gone!  No one has been near you, no person, no animal – you, yourself have not moved or created a draft or shudder to cause the item to fall.  But you have been angry, perhaps a big fight with a spouse or child.  The air is electric with the energy of this argument – and then, the gap opens!  The item is gone, and the mystery is repeated to everyone – where did it go?  It was right there!

Have I ever been involved in a gap episode?  Many times!  Have you?  Probably, if you are honest! 

I myself have witnessed these events often throughout my life, and now, in this series of Real             Life Science, am happy to share the truth with the world - GAPS DO EXIST! 

The unbelievers shake their heads - that includes my son, by the way.  But I stand undeterred!  

 I will prove this theorem!  They laughed at all the great minds - Louis Pasteur, and Benjamin Franklin had detractors - and there were those who giggled at Einstein I am told, so I do not shudder to join them in the annals of history .  For I am right, and here is the proof!.....

 (She reaches into a pocket, then another pocket, getting frantic, then stops and smiles)                                    There you have it!  I put those papers into my pockets just before I came out here, and now look-

              (She turns her pockets inside out)

.......they are gone! And there is no rational explanation.......

(She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

To prove a theorem like this.....live on TV! I have to run, I need to start writing my Nobel Prize acceptance speech!

 (She exits.....into the gap in her brain)



Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983


Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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