Sunday, January 11, 2015

Monologue Mania Day# 333 by Janet S. Tiger Cleaning the Room Jan. 11, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day# 333 by Janet S. Tiger Cleaning the Room Jan. 11, 2015

                 First started in 1977 - that's right when I was 21.....a truly scary piece, because - with a few changes - it is still valid today!

                            Cleaning the Room

                                    ©Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved 2015
                                              tigerteam1@gmail.com          


                 (There are two characters here, both played by the same actress.  One, RS -the rational side of the mind, the other OS........the other side of the mind.  It is set in a messy room.  If not possible to recreate a whole stage of mess, a table or bag of mess is helpful, including a sweater and some papers.)

(Rational side) - RS)  I think it's time to clean up a little out of these drawers.....because it will make room for stuff from the closet and off the floor.....OK?

              (She turns and talks back at herself)

(Other side - OS)  Sounds good to me.

              (She walks over to a sweater, picks it up)

First, why not throw away this sweater, or better yet, give it to Good will.  They'll be able to steam clean that oil stain and sew up the holes......

OS -  Well.....

RS  -  What's the matter?

OS -   Remember how much you loved that sweater when you were eight?  Think about all the good times you had in it.  And it only takes up a little space!

RS -  But that was ages ago, and it's stained and ripped!

OS -  Yes, that may be true, but suppose next week you have a child and then you would be sorry that you threw the sweater away, because a new sweater would cost a lot of MONEY.

RS -  (Considering this)  Well, that makes sense.....wait a minute, I won't have an eight year old child next week....I'm not even pregnant!

OS -  (Smooth)  Yes, but think about the MONEY.  Anyway, put it over here.... until later, you don't have to decide such an important, life-changing decision now.  We do have all afternoon......

RS-  Well, I thought we were going to really clean up, but...maybe you're right.......ok.....

             (Puts the sweater aside, picks up some papers)

RS  -  Then let's get rid of these exercise sheets from the second grade.....all that's on them is rows of letters.....

OS -  Hold on just one little minute, don't rip those up!  One day, when you're a famous writer....these sheets will be worth THOUSANDS of dollars!  You wouldn't want to give away all that MONEY, would you? After how, how much space could a few meager sheets of paper take up?

RS -  You do have a point, but hold on a minute....I seem to recall you used that exact same argument last time, and these papers take up one whole drawer in this dresser.......wait...how did they get into that drawer?  Did YOU put them there?

OS -  Oh, don't you remember?  You did that one day when you had no room to walk across the room to the bed....

RS - (Thinking)  Ooooooh.....I think I might remember now.....

OS - Getting back to the second grade papers, you wouldn't throw out a bank book with a thousand dollars in it, would you?

RS - Of course not, but......

OS - Well, then, why don't we just stick to putting everything in a pile over here, and....

          (She takes the papers and moves them)

RS -  (Getting angry)  Hold it!  At this rate, we're never going to get anything straightened up!  You've got an excuse for everything!  (Imitates)  Save the sweater so I don't have to buy one later, save the papers because they might be valuable one day?  What excuse will you think up for this old perfume bottle?  Let me ask you that, big shot!

            (She grabs her neck and starts to shake herself)

OS - (Calm)  Now don't get excited, and let go of my neck or you'll hurt both of us....as for the perfume bottle, there's stilla little bit left....see?

            (She releases her neck, sprays the bottle at herself, sniffs it)

RS -  Hardly anything is......

OS -  You know the old saying...'waste not, want not'......

RS  - (Confused)  But nothing is getting accomplished....I feel lost!

OS  - (Smooth)  It must be the dust, from all this cleaning up....I told you to wait until you were stronger...How about going out to the movies...we can always clean up tomorrow....or next week......

RS -  (Relieved)  That sounds better.....but we will clean up some other time, won't we?

         (Starts to exit, stops, looks back at the mess, shudders)

OS  -  Sure we will, like a famous person once said......we'll think about it....tomorrow....tomorrow at Tara.....

          (She exits, can we hear the humming of the theme from Gone With the Wind?  I think so....)


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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8





1 comment:

JennyRedbug said...

So funny, and so true! It's my life. ..