Thursday, April 13, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1156 Apology by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 13, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1156 Apology  by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 13, 2017                      
                                        Apology
                                                         by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved
                                                                  tigerteam1@gmail.com

          (Actress comes out, she is penitent, ok, you caught me.....it is the playwright again.  This is a very personal piece, please do not judge too harshly....ok, go ahead laugh at the crazy person)

I want to apologize to all the bugs.....now for some who have read this blog (or know me for awhile) know my previous rant against moths.  (See End of the Moth Wars for more insight into my strange obsession)

On the positive side of being friendly to all living things, you might also know that I love spiders.

With this background, this leads me to the present.

Although I have always hated moths - incidentally, I am not alone, as my husband calls them 'flying dirt' - recently, something in me has changed.

I can't recall when it happened.  Like the ocean wearing away stones on the beach, it started gradually until one day, I realized.....I did not hate the moths.  I just hated them... in my house.

Whereas I used to revel in their murder - (again, see Moth Wars)- now when I have to kill them, I am..........sad.

It feels bad to kill them.

Now, please understand, I always hated killing spiders - they are useful in the murder of other annoying insects and quite beautiful in their hardworking long-legged shells.

But moths, no problem swatting and squashing and squishing and putting out moth traps that caught them in goo while they slowly flapped and starved themselves to death.

That frightened me a little - it seemed like torture.  Well, it is torture.  And I found a sadness creeping in when I took the life of these annoying beasts.  After all, they did not get born with the express intent of irritating me.  (My sister would disagree but she hates spiders, so we disagree on many things)

Perhaps as I am no longer able to give birth (that ship sailed a few years back) I am appreciating life in a different way.  I watch the bugs struggle to stay alive after I swat them.  Where does that incredible power come from- that desire to...live?  And why do some people, in their prime, choose to give up their lives?  The mystery is baffling, yet, with some friends and family members who have scaled the walls of this village, I am now closer to understanding in a tiny way.

But I can still marvel at the moths swooping and swirling to avoid my hands, my swatter, my newspaper......and they usually lose.  But even after hit, their little wings beat for a moment, trying to escape, trying to live as I wash them down the sink.

It is a stunning fight - and I am impressed.  It gives me a kind of strength to carry on when things get tough.  A kind of kinship with lost causes, a sense of.....if they can fight on, so can I!

        (The actress turns to leave, but surprisingly enough, stops and looks back)

Now flies and mosquitos......still no problem killing them......

        (She exits, now brandishing a flyswatter.  Definitely the end for those flies and mosquitos, but in memorium for the moths.....)



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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8